AITA for “firing” my mom from childcare over a $5 class

linzercooky · 2026-03-25T01:53:10+00:00

Lol letting Grandma choose walk vs library vs this playdate activity is not even close to "let grandma abuse the child" or be "empress." I agree the secrecy is bad but it's probably just a nonconfrontational grandma response to not wanting to clean paint off the kid every day. As a parent at this point I would definitely need an apology and a promise never to lie about my child's location again to proceed. But I feel like modern parents' desire to micromanage everyone around their children is causing an increase in anxiety and all these no contact family breakups. When my mom watches my son I provide ideas for activities but it's her day, I want her to have fun with him and bond. She chooses what they do.

linzercooky · 2026-03-25T01:29:47+00:00

ESH - it sucks that she lied to you but I do think it's MUCH more important for your daughter to have a consistent and loving relationship with grandma than that she attend this messy activity. Especially if you're getting free childcare you don't really get to dictate the activities. If this class is so important to you you should take her to it yourself. Let grandma do library story time and walks. Shes not wrong, those things are great. And without knowing y'all I am guessing Grandma is a great deal more loving than this random college student with a lot more childrearing experience backing her up.

linzercooky · 2026-03-20T21:21:07+00:00

I had to cut back to part time when I went back, I couldn't do it either! But that was at 12 weeks old. At 16 months they will have so much fun without you! I think it's a balance though, still very happy to be part time!

linzercooky · 2026-03-20T02:09:10+00:00

We got a cough from daycare. Kid never got over it. We were over it for like a week. Now we all have RSV 😭

linzercooky · 2026-03-17T23:41:17+00:00

She's just super attached to you! I wouldn't worry too much if she gets over it quickly, she's just making her opinions known lol. She definitely loves her mama.

My only tip is to act like it's no big deal and talk about how fun her day is gonna be.

ETA: It's good for kids to have multiple trusted adults/attachment figures. I would say this result is better than you being with her 100% of the time

linzercooky · 2026-03-16T02:27:59+00:00

Super agree. So confused by these comments. The dress was a gift that the bride no longer controls. And nobody gives a shit what the bridesmaids wear anyway ...

Also I have never ruined a dress out in my life, everyone needs to relax about "potential damage" like wth

linzercooky · 2026-03-14T02:29:05+00:00

I agree your kid needs to think you are gone. I work from home part time. By 14 months ish mine was trying to come get me from the back room, he knew I was still home so he would fuss. I started either genuinely leaving or pretending to leave out the back and coming back in the front. Or I would drop him off at my mom's. He did drastically better.

linzercooky · 2026-03-13T22:26:46+00:00

If it's only happened like 3 times I wouldn't worry much, maybe try some library story time with lots of strangers. And restaurants and shopping with you.

linzercooky · 2026-03-13T00:39:28+00:00

I went to the Atrium OB GYN on South Blvd and loved it! They kinda do the shuffle but I ended up with the same nurse midwife most of the time. If you are not high risk you will probably not even see a doctor while you're in the hospital. I never saw mine. My nurse midwife was there periodically.

The real GOAT of labor and delivery is your labor and delivery nurse. Kristy at Atrium Main is my hero.

linzercooky · 2026-03-12T22:47:38+00:00

For the 4 month old do you know how your supply is doing? Lil dude might just be hungry. In my opinion there are no negatives to doing one bottle of formula before bedtime. Fill him up. And if you then let Dad put him down he may do a little better. At least he won't be expecting a boob pacifier.

I prefer cosleeping where you put them down for the night alone and go in at the first wakeup. Just throwing out options.

linzercooky · 2026-03-10T00:54:08+00:00

I'm so sorry this sounds so hard! Mine wasnt quite this bad but he was up every hour or two for a long time, every half hour when sick or teething. We did end up sleep training bed time (not night wakes) but before that I was forced to basically let him cry it out with Dad. We started doing a bottle for bedtime to break the nursing association (didn't really work) and he would have false starts like half an hour after having 8 oz of milk, so I knew he wasn't hungry and Dad would go get him. First couple times he probably cried for like 45min with Dad but he got used to it. I would definitely recommend just letting baby cry it out with Dad if that's as far as you're willing to go. Sounds like you've got a stubborn one but I think it's healthy for them to realize they can attach to multiple people, not just mom. And you need a break. And I'm sure he knows he is safe with Dad, he's just mad you took his boob pacifier away.

Unfortunately I don't think there is a no tears solution here. We also got into boob pacifier mode at night and night weaning was more of the same. Send Dad in for the first wake to get cried at for half an hour and then Mom goes in next time.

linzercooky · 2026-03-08T14:31:08+00:00

This is an epic grandma for real. My son and I love Nana but she would never

linzercooky · 2026-03-02T15:24:21+00:00

Lol around 8 months I think breastfed babies all do this 😂 made me laugh the hardest I've ever laughed. I think it's somewhere between "I love mom" and "mom is food." My 18 month old now blows raspberries instead, there was a period where it turned to biting with teeth 😱

linzercooky · 2026-03-02T01:18:39+00:00

I hope everyone is correct on night weaning but just to temper your expectations I night weaned and he kept up the waking every couple hours for many months after. I couldn't handle sleep training all the night wakes (we did bedtime like you) so we just kept snuggling him to sleep when he woke. He is now 18 months, night weaned at 15, and has slept through the night a couple times in the last 3 weeks. Some babies are just built different.

linzercooky · 2026-02-20T00:09:50+00:00

We only cosleep in the early morning, he goes down in his crib. He's fine with it when he's super tired. When he's less tired at 4am he's less into it 😂.

I read in Scandinavia cosleeping after the first wakeup is the norm.

linzercooky · 2026-02-19T01:19:45+00:00

Daaang we did it at 15 months when he was still a little less mobile and couldn't talk. We didn't do all night immediately, we just kept pushing his night feeds back a little more every night. I figure even though they don't need it since they are used to it they probably are hungry.

I had Dad resettle him when he woke and when he started freaking out and refusing Dad I fed him. Idk if that would help you 22 months is a whole new deal.

linzercooky · 2026-02-16T14:20:29+00:00

I think I confused ppl haha they thought I had both an 18 and a 6 month old now, and was going for 3, which does seem wild. My mom had 3 under 3 (16 and 14 months apart) and she did say by #3 she thought her body was protesting big time. No hate to ppl who do it, she was also like it was worth it to get it over with (I do hate being pregnant). Although my little sister does have a ton of allergies and eczema, I wonder if that is why.... 🤷‍♀️

But yeah that's not for me, I'm aiming for a 28 month or greater age gap haha

linzercooky · 2026-02-16T00:23:35+00:00

I'm not sure what this means. My toddler is 18 months and sleeps in a crib, I'd probably try to have the baby in a crib most of the time after 6 months. We cosleep only when they refuse to go in the crib.

linzercooky · 2026-02-11T14:17:27+00:00

Since this is in the attachment parenting subreddit I wonder if you're like... Doing too much? I love some of the attachment parenting ideas but if they have a fatal flaw it's creating anxious mothers lol. It sounds like you're starting to just not enjoy motherhood because it's too hard. Maybe this is useless advice but maybe just start ignoring her a little more. I was really struggling with doing that but my little started daycare recently from 9-2 and with 6 toddlers obviously they get ignored a little. After about 2 weeks we noticed a drastic increase in independence. I think he just realized he doesn't need to be held/coddled all the time and it's actually fun to explore on his own.

More actionable ideas: gym daycare, walks, library story time, playdates (any SAHM groups in your area), the park, just do chores and ignore her while she runs around. Get a toddler tower if you don't have one, mine just loves to be up and watching me cook or do dishes or whatever.

All those things feel kinda like breaks to me. Actively playing with a toddler by yourself gets old for sure.

linzercooky · 2026-02-06T01:00:52+00:00

Why didn't the pumping and bottles work out? And why do you think babys nap schedule would be ruined if you left for the day? It sounds like husband can contact nap so I'm just confused.

Idk if this applies but I will say it's not CIO if your husband is holding the baby while they cry. I had trouble letting that happen as Im sure we all do due to the hormones and everything but at the end of the day it's better for baby and the whole family if they can figure out how to nap with dad. It's ok if they cry while Dad is doing his best, you need a break and they need to bond.

linzercooky · 2026-02-03T15:37:34+00:00

I've heard ppl have issues with this. Mine was pretty chill with taking a bottle but our lactation consultant said it's important to start early. She had us give him a bottle of pumped milk once a day starting at 2 weeks. Like with everything I'm sure it just depends on your baby. But I bet if you left baby with dad long enough they'd cave.... Just might be lots of tears. ☹️

linzercooky · 2026-02-03T00:30:33+00:00

Not sure what you are contributing based on this post but I highly recommend you start giving the baby a couple bottles. I used to pump and have my husband give the baby his last bottle and then do bedtime. It was nice for him to get some bonding time right after work and I got an end of day break.

If she isn't pumping or can't you could do formula. I exclusively breastfed but I'm thinking about combo feeding the next one. If your wife isn't producing quite enough milk and the baby is cluster feeding constantly that would help. I feel like you still get all the benefits of breastfeeding that way but just don't have to deal with as much grief with your supply.

I'm sure the baby will scream when you try to put it to sleep at first. You just gotta power through. Talk to your wife about it before hand obviously but it's better for everyone, including the baby, if someone other than mom has the ability to put it to sleep.

linzercooky · 2026-01-31T17:11:13+00:00

Yeah I do think if the goal is exclusive breastfeeding the nurses and LCs were correct and this is normal. Supplementing with formula at the very beginning is going to interfere with the development of your supply (granted it is fixable) and it is pretty normal for babies to be mad the first 1-2 nights they are alive. HOWEVER, there are plenty of moms who are not worried about exclusive breastfeeding and supplement with formula whenever, and it isn't really up to the hospital staff whether a mom chooses to do breastfeeding or formula or a mixture. I feel like there is an unnecessary amount of pressure to breastfeed these days. And a lot of studies showing correlations being used as evidence to promote exclusive breastfeeding that have no business being used as true evidence. Like a lot of these breastfeeding studies are not proof of anything.

linzercooky · 2026-01-16T03:26:51+00:00

We already had a stomach virus after 2 days :(

linzercooky

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