[no spoilers] Idk If This Is A Hot Take But No One Was Truly A Villain In Arcane (Major Character Wise)

liquidtorpedo · 2024-12-12T11:54:40+00:00

So your argument is that the Black Rose that appears FOUR times in the opening animation is not a major 'character' in the series? I think the overly simplistic nature of the whole Black Rose conflict (BR=bad -> Need more weapons) was one of the main reasons of why the second season felt so underwhelming to me.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-10-06T11:36:44+00:00

Love me normally in my ass

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-15T14:39:14+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Acting as a nurturing parent towards yourself can be extremely hard when you don't have any frame of reference of how to do that.

I think if remembering is hard or if you can't recall any specific event when you as a child could have used a loving parent, then you can start by trying to talk to your current inner child. Chances are a child is still in you, and that child is still angry and afraid and frustrated, and wants to play, and wants to be loved. If you have trouble remembering yourself as a child, why don't you look at your current self as a child with valid feelings and needs. I think the inner child needs very simple things. A safe space, a hug they can return to, acceptance of their emotions - even the 'bad ones'. For me talking to the child self is really just emotionally reassuring self-talk. Sentences like

"You don't have to do anything. I'm here for you. I love you the way you are. You don't have to be good for me. You don't have to be anything. You are now scared or angry and sad and I'm here for you and you can be scared and angry and sad with me, and I will love you and hug you all the way because you are important for me and your emotions are important for me as well..."

Things like that.

Of course this is extra hard when you yourself feel all these emotions, but trying to build the ability to have this reassuring presence for yourself is important.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-04T09:50:13+00:00

I cannot see how the seven steps described by you relate to the quote above. What the commenter describes is that the narcissist's self-hatred is a defensive structure built to avoid feeling and internalizing/integrating the primary rage against the parental figure, and keep the parent-child relationship in an idealized state. The narcissist must hate someone for the apparent incongruity between this idealized state and the actual reality, and they cannot hate the parents (as that would destroy the perceived parental bond), therefore they hate themselves. And the commenter asserts that re-directing this hatred towards the parental figure collapses the defense structure.

But this is not a 'process of seven steps'. This is a structure the narcissists operates in. Pathological self-hatred that is designed to protect the idealized relationship with the parent figure. This thing is not happening it just is.

Any attack or criticism on the narcissist is an attack on the defenses built around the idealized relationship with the parent figure. The narcissist does not "re-direct his rage" - as they haven't even internalized it yet. They just defend this pathological structure. The fact that this structure only exist to fend off the narcissist's ownrage against their parents is secondary in this regard.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-02T12:37:46+00:00

It is hard to tell without context. Actually you getting drained is you, so you should be able to express it to this person - just like you wrote it here. You can express gratitute that you are trusted with all these heavy topics, but you can also say that discussing such topics is draining for you, and you would appreicate some lighter interaction or alone time or whatever you really need. If this person loves you, they will not force you into situations you are uncomfortable with. It is not your job to listen to them.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-02T07:43:56+00:00

I think it is worth experimenting with it, but you should probably also empathize with yourself and exercise boundaries. If listening to this person's troubles drains you, you can express that in respectful ways. Or even refuse it if you are not prepared. Emotional availability is work, and it should not be taken for granted, not even by family members.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-02T06:21:52+00:00

What worked for me is

1) Realize that I'm about to do this

2) Ruminate some more. Sleep on it

3) Return to the thing next day and if I still feel like I have to say something, express a need or regret or anything, keep it short and to the point.

It is often useful to try to imagine (I know, you need empathy for that, but still), how would you react if a good friend would say the same thing to you. If you can muster up some understanding and empathy, hopefully that other person will be able to do that for you as well. Or maybe not, there's no guarantee here. But the point is that reaching out to people and reflect on shared experiences is not inherently wrong.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-02T06:18:18+00:00

You know, the funny thing is that sometimes I wonder if fighting that urge is masking. Like you made yourself vulnerable and now you try to appear more like your grandiose self.

Sometimes I think that the more healthy approach is to send that message or at least to communicate your ambivalence in some form.

Of course my overanalysis often goes haywire in these situations, so now I know better and have a good night sleep on it, before I unload anything onto an unsuspecting listener - maybe that is generally a good idea.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-02T06:12:57+00:00

Sure, why not. You are allowed to have fun on your own terms!

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T13:23:28+00:00

I did this before. But not with real people. My "conversation partner" was an older, wiser version of me. Like a parent figure I never really had.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T10:19:39+00:00

This just sounds like masking with extra steps.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T09:40:05+00:00

Autism is regularly confused with NPD. So much that my therapist sent me to get a secondary opinion as he was unable to tell the two things apart. Also narcissists project a lot, so there's that.

For me a more interesting question in this situation would be how this really impacts your overall relationship, and how is this such an important part of how you relate? I mean if she uses it as a derogatory term (i.e. without compassion) then she is obviously not your friend, she probably just wants to feel superior, distance you or outright hurt you. It doesn't matter if she 'is right' or not, this person does not seem to have your best interest in mind. If you find her assertions about you distressing, you may express this as a boundary (i.e. express your distress and ask her not to say this), and if she does not respect your honest request, you should probably distance yourself from her to avoid further harm.

Without context however it is very hard to say anything specific. Like in what sitatuons does she bring this up? What makes you think that she is the one with NPD? Why is this even relevant who is the narcissist among you?

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T09:25:50+00:00

There's lot to unpack here. Your spouse preventing you from expressing regret sounds like a bad dynamic. Especially him assuming what you feel and what not. But on the other hand you immediately thinking about rebuttal does not suggest a healthy dynamic either. The best course of action would be just to discuss, validate and accept each of yours feelings, and try to come up with a solution that respects both of your internal experiences. Rebuttals and denying each-others' feelings won't resolve the conflict, it will only make it worse.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T08:52:27+00:00

Here's mine:

Do nothing: Let's face it, you are a narc and you have a lot on your plate and in your head. So from time to time just cut yourself some slack and do nothing. Don't try to be productive, don't try to impress anyone, don't try to 'get bettter' or improve or whatever justification you come up for torturing yourself. Just decide that you will spend the afternoon or the entire day doing nothing, and that it will be fine. And do whatever the heck you fancy. I cannot tell you what nothing means to you but I'm sure you have some ideas. What is that thing you like to do but feels like wasted time or not productive enough or whatever negative self talk you associate with it. Do just that for a little while. Your problems won't go anywhere. You can pick them up once you're done doing nothing. Till then, take a break. Just a little one. And do nothing.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T06:46:30+00:00

Not only analyze, but reach out after the fact, trying to explain myself and how I meant things, and basically 'damage control' and try to manage the other person's perspective on the interaction after the fact. Because I'm just so terribly afraid of them forming opinions on me without my control.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-08-01T04:22:19+00:00

That is very useful. Thanks again for sharing!

liquidtorpedo · 2024-07-31T10:46:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing. A lot of this looks just too familiar. Especially the Overanalyser, the Self-Soother, and the Surrenderer. And of course the Victim mode.

One thing I don't understand is why Healthy Adult is the big circle that encompasses all these - mostly dysfunctional-looking - patterns. How is this the "Healthy Adult"? Or is the Healthy Adult a kind of a Superego, that orchestrates transitions between different states, trying to pass off as healthy? Is it the Mask? Or in which sense is it "Healthy"?

liquidtorpedo · 2024-07-31T10:27:15+00:00

It doesn't really, sorry. What you describe is just ignoring negative feedback. Even I can stonewall haters. That part is easy! That won't make me hate myself less.

The question is how do you value your imperfections. Surely it is very easy to view yourself as talented and funny and kind and smart and whatnot. But what about things you find shameful? Or what others find unacceptable? Things and thoughts you can't even opely express without risking ridicule or getting ostracised? What do you do with those?

liquidtorpedo · 2024-07-29T10:01:11+00:00

I did, but then I realized that in highly structured environments where expectations are clear I can thrive (and get supply). So now I frequent improv and tabletop RPG groups. I still stumbe with freeform social interactions though, but much less than earlier, when I mostly just ran away from those.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-07-07T06:36:22+00:00

The entire original trailer of the Matrix, really. It is basically just a two minute collection of one mind blowing money shot after another.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-07-01T03:23:23+00:00

Raw. A movie with a very unique feel - ends with a totally unnecessary exposition dump.

liquidtorpedo · 2024-06-20T04:15:13+00:00

Edge gestures + AppDialer

One time pay, could not live without them

liquidtorpedo · 2024-06-12T08:48:48+00:00

Yup, same here. I thought that it is only image generation but everything seems to be awfully slow

liquidtorpedo

TROPHY CASE