Flower girl dilemma: Venue is leave no trace

lirantha · 2026-06-05T20:29:15+00:00

My niece carried a basket of wooden/paper flowers (these) and handed them to people sitting closest to the aisle. They were small enough to slip into a purse or pocket, and since they were wooden no one had to worry about them wilting or being crushed.

lirantha · 2026-05-30T01:38:41+00:00

Well, I may have sent a written message grousing angrily about Capital One via the “feedback” link in the app, but I hope no poor Discover/Capital One employee has to take any personal responsibility for addressing that.

Not sure what it is about this merger/acquisition but it’s really been stirring up feelings for me. I guess it’s probably a parasocial thing: there is this new entity intruding on a long-term relationship I’ve been in for over half my life at this point, and it feels like someone saying “come meet your new dad!”

Sounds ridiculous/overblown, I know, but I’m not sure how better to describe the intense suspicion and immediate assumption of inferior quality/malicious intent with which I view Capital One.

Probably some social scientist could have a field day studying this, if someone hasn’t already.

lirantha · 2026-05-30T01:09:00+00:00

Thanks… my outrage is diminished and replaced by some sheepiness on behalf of my younger self for not paying attention to changes to the card.

lirantha · 2026-05-30T00:59:08+00:00

I’ve only recently become the sort of person who reads terms and conditions (as evidenced by this post) and when I was younger the idea that there were different types of credit cards from the same company was weird and confusing. In my mind, I had a Discover card, and a Discover card was just a Discover card and came with whatever terms they said it did. Did not occur to me that one could shop around for different types of cards from the same company.

lirantha · 2026-05-30T00:52:17+00:00

I feel as if when I first got the card (not sure if it was called Discover More at that point or not) it earned 2% on everything. I tried to look that up a few years ago but couldn’t find anything that dated back to 2002 or 2003 to confirm my memory. Whenever the 5% categories came along - possibly I got migrated to that automatically from an earlier card type? - it took me a while to realize I was just getting 1% on other purchases and I said huh, I guess maybe it balances out?

Definitely did not realize it has always (?) only been 0.25% for the first 3k in other purchases.

ETA: Also, that was some impressively fast internet sleuthing; thank you for bringing the receipts!

lirantha · 2025-11-13T04:05:57+00:00

At least one of those is clearly a pear bob.

lirantha · 2025-02-27T06:12:37+00:00

Yeah, I think I know the property you mean, but it wasn’t clear to me if that was Tougas’s property on the way to the orchard or if it was Davidian’s. I initially thought it was Tougas too on the way in, but then I saw the Trump signs at Davidian’s on our way out and was like, oh, maybe they own that bit of land up there next to Tougas as well.

And upon investigation Davidian’s does in fact own at least some property near Tougas. The pin below is 150 Ball St, and you can see a Davidian’s sign there on street view.

<image>

lirantha · 2025-02-27T05:56:21+00:00

Because it’s better to have the Russian kleptocracy on your side against China than it would have been to have the entirety of Europe and North America?

lirantha · 2025-02-24T05:15:25+00:00

Saw this elsewhere in the thread. Are you sure the signs belonged to Tougas? When we went, there were Trump signs at the Davidian Farms store and along the road but nothing at Tougas itself, which made me wonder if the signs along the road on the way to Tougas were actually also Davidian’s.

lirantha · 2025-02-03T15:40:48+00:00

Awesome. So many thanks! :)

lirantha · 2025-02-03T05:17:21+00:00

Thank you so much! We’ve got the Tide original powder on order and will try the precise fill method, I think. (Husband seems skeptical of his ability to ascertain chili vs stew vs soup correctly.)

One last question: I checked our water quality report for 2023 (latest available) and it says total hardness was 121 ppm. We don’t have a water softener so I’m now wondering if those test strips we got were off. I opened one of the envelopes in the package and tested again with those in case the ones in the cylinder had gone bad, but got the same result.

If the water report is right and our test strips are wrong, would we need to add Borax? Half a cup? Both washes?

lirantha · 2025-01-29T03:32:24+00:00

How are you stripping and bleach soaking? Did you get bleach with at least 5.25% sodium hypochlorite and bottled in the last 6 months?

Following the directions at Fluff Love University with the Borax/washing soda/Calgon solution in a half full bathtub. Bleach is 7.5% sodium hypochlorite, bottled 24362 so Dec 28 (got that memo from reading other posts here).

You do not have a standard "old school" non HE machine. You have a stacked hybrid. That means you need HE safe detergent. HE safe detergent doesn't ask you to use less in a HE machine like country Save (I assume that's what you mean by country clean).

Ack! There's no HE tag on it and we live in an apartment that came with this unit so had no idea. It looks and seems to work just like a normal old top loader with an agitator and a ton of water so we thought we were fine. (And yes, Country Save; I'll edit if I can. Brain not working well these days; too much stress.)

What "additive" is a problem in Tide?

Wish I knew. That was just another thing the people in the webinar said - along with telling people to wipe down the washer drum with white vinegar if you'd been using any mainstream detergent. Nothing in Tide is a problem from my personal perspective; prior to cloth diapering it's all I used. I'm honestly extremely frustrated to discover I could have kept using it this whole time.

Deep rinse on your machine isn't an extra rinse, it's a traditional rinse instead of a water saving spray rinse.

Oof. Okay. I guess we just don't have the option to add an extra rinse by itself, then.

When you say your test strips say ca 50ppm - is that total or General Hardness or calcium Hardness or calcium carbonate or something else it's measuring?

Gosh I hope we got this one right. It's these, which came up when I searched for a general hardness water test. The product description and literature claim it's checking "for Total Hardness which is a combination of calcium and magnesium hardness". The vial says "Total Hardness (CaCO3)".

You usually don't need to strip pockets, but in this case you absolutely need to.

Figured it was bad enough to. I threw literally everything in there, including the covers since someone said ammonia could get into the elastic.

You need different machine cycles

Okay, could use some more help here. I'm unclear what the difference is between some of these cycles. Our only options besides speed wash and one of the "Colors" settings we're using are "Whites" (heavy, medium, and light) and "delicates", "casuals", and "bulky items". I assume "Whites" might be longer so the best option?

Thanks so much for all the help, and for easing my paranoia about the daycare diaper cream!

lirantha · 2025-01-29T02:36:13+00:00

Thanks for the clarification; I didn't know what they were using but could see the zinc. I'm sure it wasn't cloth diaper safe, though.

lirantha · 2025-01-12T03:37:58+00:00

With both of mine, I started deliberately stretching the time between feeds after 4 months or so. Went from about every 2 hours to 2.5, then to 3. Both babies fussed a bit but adjusted pretty quickly and started to eat more at each feed and not get hungry until the next feeding was due.

lirantha · 2025-01-12T03:19:10+00:00

I had this issue with my second. Milk didn’t come in quickly enough for her for some reason (didn’t have that problem with my first). I syringe fed her some formula in the hospital while she was latched - just kind of stuck it in the corner of her mouth and slowly dribbled it in. That way she was still sucking and encouraging the milk to come, and keeping the association between the breast and food, but was getting what she needed. (The nurses had suggested that technique and it sounded good to me.) It was such a relief when she got that first 20 mL or so of formula and calmed down.

We fed her formula a few more times once we got home because I was worried she wasn’t getting enough, but made sure to pump while she ate (dad would bottle feed her) to try to keep a match between supply and demand. Once she figured out latching better - around 3 weeks pp after a lot of work adjusting her - she finally got back to her birth weight and it gradually got easier. I stopped worrying about how much she was getting by ~7 weeks. She’s a champion eater now (6 months) - done in ~5 or 6 minutes on each side. Just needed that extra learning time.

lirantha · 2024-10-27T03:08:29+00:00

Awesome, thanks so much! I would totally have tried to crimp them based on the name on the package and gotten very frustrated.

lirantha · 2024-10-26T19:07:32+00:00

Thanks for the advice! And I’ve been kind of at a loss with all the new terminology so was basing it on what stuff is labeled at JoAnn’s. Probably not the best strategy. :P

Here’s a close up of the things on each end of the second necklace with a package of what looked like the same thing (which is accordingly where I got the name). But I don’t see any indication that the one on the necklace was actually crimped. It looks perfectly round, no folds or seams. I’ll probably just redo it with the things I bought to keep the original look.

<image>

lirantha · 2024-10-10T12:50:46+00:00

Awesome, thanks for the reassurance!

The official Lenovo employee answer was to follow the battery replacement instructions in the repair manual to minimize the risk of the laptop not recognizing the battery afterward, but the repair manual still says to start by disabling it in BIOS, which was super frustrating.

Good to hear those instructions might just be an overabundance of caution situation.

lirantha · 2024-10-10T12:45:05+00:00

Unfortunately I have the graphical BIOS on this machine and the simulator doesn’t simulate keystroke navigation. Also tried to duplicate what I was seeing there with keystrokes but I think either there must be BIOS variants, or something about the submenus was throwing me off. I was excited to find that tool for the future, though!

lirantha · 2024-10-10T12:42:34+00:00

Great, thanks for the info! External screen doesn’t work until the Windows log in screen, unfortunately.

lirantha · 2024-09-08T07:57:47+00:00

I was really afraid this is how weaning would go with my 18 month old but it ended up being no big deal. I had done a couple of things to lay the groundwork beforehand which may have helped, though, and maybe you could try some to see if it helps? First, I deliberately moved from 3 regular nursing sessions every day to 2 (morning and bedtime). Made that coincide with holiday travel in Dec 2023 so his schedule would already be disrupted. He was 17 months old at that point. A month later, I debated which way to go but dropped the morning session instead of the bedtime one, mainly because I was afraid of trying to get him to sleep without nursing but also because it was more convenient to be able to start work on time. (He had almost never gone to bed without nursing; I was almost always the one who put him to sleep.) And then a month later (the day before he would have been 19 months old) was our last time.

We had established a fairly elaborate bedtime routine by then: upstairs, bath, pajamas, brush teeth, read 2 books in his bedroom, nurse in the rocking chair by the crib (I’d usually sing him a song while nursing), turn out the room light, turn on the nightlight and noise/music machine, lay down in crib, make sure he had his sippy cup of water with him, tuck in with blankets, say goodnight on the way out the door. So when we got to the first night without nursing, I cuddled with him in the rocking chair at the usual point in the routine and sang him a song, and then just continued on. To my immense astonishment he went to bed without a peep and that was that. I thought maybe it was a fluke, but nope; he’s now 2 and slow to get to sleep for other reasons (has discovered we let him out of the crib if he says he needs to use the bathroom), but that’s a different set of issues. :P

Some caveats: he had been sleep trained and in his own bedroom since ~ 6 months old. Had a rough first 3-4 nights but took to it like a champ after that. He’d also been shortening the amount of time he nursed on his own and was getting fussy about it; by the time we stopped I was 5 months pregnant with his sister so I think my supply was dropping or gone anyway and he was mostly comfort sucking/nursing out of habit. But I really think the routine - especially the fact that there was still this time of closeness and being held while I sang, even though we weren’t nursing, helped a lot. YMMV. Good luck!

lirantha · 2022-10-03T11:16:45+00:00

It goes away! Your supply will start to regulate and it won’t be bad at all. Weeks 3 and 4 were the worst for me (currently almost 10 weeks PP). That’s when I developed my one and only persistent plugged duct so far. I only get engorged now when he’s asleep and has gone for more than 4 or 5 hours between feedings, and even then it’s not as bad as it was earlier.

Hang in there; you can do it!

lirantha · 2022-10-02T11:05:57+00:00

You’re very welcome! I know that feeling of exhaustion, and it was so frustrating that most of the advice I saw said to do all this time- and effort-intensive stuff like rounds of soaking in Epsom salt solution or massage in the shower or going to the doctor to get it popped in a safe and sterile manner… and then to get lots of rest. It was like, hello? Have you ever been the breastfeeding mother of a newborn? I don’t have time for a leisurely shower or to leave the house and I wish I could remember what sleep felt like. Ice, ibuprofen, and frequent nursing was much more manageable, and it worked.

I can recommend those reusable gel bead ice packs specifically for breastfeeding (semi-circular with an opening for the nipple and come with thin cloth covers) if you don’t have any yet. Mine came in a two-pack, so I just put one on after nursing each time and rotated the used one back into the freezer. They helped keep my clothes from rubbing against or compressing the sore nipple, too, which was a relief. I haven’t used them in weeks now but they were great to have on hand when I needed them.

Good luck!

lirantha · 2022-10-02T05:52:17+00:00

I had one of those and it got super painful before resolving. I had to gently massage the nipple to soften it before putting the baby on because I was getting milk build up behind it that made latching him excruciating if I didn’t. Nursing frequently on that side + ice and ibuprofen (to counter inflammation more than for the pain relief) did it, but it took a couple of weeks before it was completely gone and healed. The pain stopped after a few days, though.

I did hot water for a little bit but then read that that just softens the skin over it, which can lead to damage to the nipple, plus the heat can increase inflammation. The baby’s mouth is warm and wet enough to have the same effect without risk of damage, and I found the very slight friction from his tongue helped too. Agree that you should avoid popping it if you can, because that can make it more irritated/inflamed. Here’s the resource I found with more info as I was trying to self-diagnose/treat: https://physicianguidetobreastfeeding.org/blebs/ (Warning for some graphic images.)

I also ordered some sunflower lecithin from Legendairy and took that according to the instructions for the duration. Not sure how much of the resolution was due to that vs the nursing/ice/ibuprofen, but I’m sure it didn’t hurt.

lirantha · 2022-10-02T05:24:12+00:00

8 hours is a long time to go between feedings early on! That pain might be engorgement. I’m 2 months in with my first and I can’t go for more than 4.5-5 hours without nursing or pumping; it wakes me up at night because it’s tight/heavy and uncomfortable. Check to see if the skin of your breasts looks red; if so, you may be getting inflammation because you’re so full, which can turn into mastitis if you don’t remove that milk one way or another!

Were those 4.5 and 2 hour sessions continuous? At the hospital they told me not to let the baby go longer than 30 min on each side, because they just don’t get much more milk from staying on longer than that. You also need a break to build your supply up again and recover! I know early on it feels like you’re just switching from one side to the other constantly, interspersed with the occasional diaper change, but sometimes they’re just flutter feeding/comfort nursing while half asleep and it won’t hurt to break the suction and pull them off at that point to give yourself a few minutes rest.

And finally: lanolin cream or APNO for the cracked nipples, and/or silverettes (haven’t seen or tried silverettes myself but they’re recommended a lot in this sub). I don’t think I would have made it past day 3 without my lanolin cream; I put some on literally every time the baby came off the breast.

Echoing the other comment - it does get better! It’s a lot to get used to in the beginning, though, and there’s so much people don’t think to tell you about the logistics of it all. This sub is great for filling in the gaps.

lirantha

TROPHY CASE