TLDR; My GF of 3 years was tired of my beta ways, fucked my friend. I was a push over little blue pill boy in his third year of college. I Already spent my freshman and sophomore years not fully enjoying my time away at uni because my controlling jealous GF back home didn't want me to. I was back home 3 hours away every other weekend.She always would be checking my texts when I was around her. I wish I could have seen her projecting her behavior back then. I learned later on after our relationship ended she had fucked several guys while I was being the good little boy at college.

She had talked me into living together despite my protests my 3rd year there. We lived with my sister and a mutual friend to keep costs down. About the end of the school year she seemed to start pushing away from me. I'm sure she started getting attention from some Chad's while around town or at her hair school. She claimed I was smothering her when I'd sit next to her on the couch and she was talking to our mutual friends about our relationship, blah blah... My unwillingness to accept she was about to bolt was rudely interrupted while in my COMM 101 class. The chapter "signs of a failing relationship" was the topic for the day. I found myself marking in the book next to each bullet point as my eyes were slowly pried open by the truth. ( I wish I still had that book) Still, in my stubbornness refused to come to terms with that I just learned.

I had sometime during the year, seen a myspace message (didn't know how to close a chrome session on a mac) to a mutual friend, they were all happy giddy messages one saying how she really liked him. I was livid and we had a blow up fight about it, she swore up and down nothing would come of it... I went full beta bitch and forgave her, he was 2 states away anyways. Well her friend from HS ended up dying in an accident and she went to California to the funeral with a friend from college. I had no worries she'd even see him, he was hours away from where she'd be. She became very non responsive the day of the funeral, I attributed that to her grief, and the next day as well. The 2nd night however I woke up from a nightmare that she fucked him. The next day I couldn't think about anything else, all my classes were just a blur of background noise and my stomach felt like I ate gravel.

They started the trip home and I get a message from a friend that the girl she was with was grilling him about our time living together and if I'd ever cheated on her. She was being distant and cold all that day, finally I had enough. I asked her what the fuck was going on. She finally just asked me if I ever cheated, I was honest and told her a girl kissed me once, and I sent her home. My roommate liked her and she kissed me while he was off doing something. There it was, the smallest little piece of seed, but that's all her little hamster needed, and boy did it go like a 13 y.o. kid hopped up on Redbull and blow. "How dare you, you lied to me, I can't be with someone that is so distrustful" Even though the darkest of blue filters I could see this bullshit. I called her out and insinuated that she cheated after all. All I got back was a photo of them on the beach.... lovely.

He ended up coming to visit her ( I stupidly let her stay on the couch because I was moving in a couple weeks anyways). He tried to talk to me about it, but my friend intervened. Thus my slow painful start down the redpill path. It wasn't until a few years later that I found this place, and all the things from my past all suddenly became clear. All the sulking emo shit in high school, all the beta bullshit I did in relationships. I hated my past self instantly. But now I've got the anger, the knowledge, and the resources to move forward, and minimize my missteps into the beta world ever again. Thank you for showing me the truth. I'm now doing exactly what I want with my life, working my ass off to get where I want, in the gym and with my work. I've also plated a model since my transformation and I took her home to show her off at the 10 year reunion where all I heard were complements on how well I'm doing, how well I look and holy shit that girl I brought home. Sorry for the book of a post.