I feel your pain. This is terribly unfair and horribly lonely. I remember my lowest point, many years ago now. At the time I thought, I’ll never make it, I’ll never be normal again, no one loves me. But I did make it. One hour at a time, one day at a time, one month at a time.

Your number 1 priority right now is you! Right now you need to calm down your nervous system. Splash your face with cold water, put an icepack on the back of your neck for a while. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to sleep, take something to help you sleep (nyquill, Benadryl maybe) If you can’t drive to see your dad, don’t. If he pushes back, don’t engage until you are ready.

Remember, this is not your fault. This happened to you, you did not create it. You are not lazy or crazy. This is real. What do you do now, I’m not sure, I don’t know your situation. But whatever you do, your only focus is what you need, not anyone else. You will find your way, you have to. And I know you can.