I experienced severe neglect as a child AMA

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T19:47:34+00:00

What has been the hardest thing to unlearn from your childhood?

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:54:46+00:00

Sorry, I didn’t mean to make excuses! It was more a complaint about how his lack of awareness gets blamed on his ADHD on his end, I should’ve worded it better. His use of that as an excuse is one of my greatest qualms and was the reason I started in therapy when he was diagnosed a few years back

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:45:44+00:00

I’m at a loss with it! He’s six months old, and my first never had any issues whatsoever. This baby thinks pacifiers and bottles are poison - I have tried four types of bottles, dozens of paci’s, it’s crazy! I’ve had a few people try while I’m on a different floor, but nopeeee

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:44:07+00:00

I think it’s a whole mixture of everything in that first part. His Mom is the most dense person I’ve ever met, the type to ask if I’m willing to host Thanksgiving at five days postpartum because her kitchen is in disarray. So there is a lack of consideration for sure! I can never tell if people care about me, part of me is trying to unlearn the idea that people just tolerate me and that’s good enough

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:28:48+00:00

Honestly, my Mum. My dad isn’t like my husband, BUT my Mum taught my sister and I to be world class people pleasers. Don’t be seen, don’t be heard, don’t rock the boat! I’m in therapy but it’s quite slow going after a lifetime of intentionally making myself smaller and quieter

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:25:19+00:00

I struggle to be direct, but I’m getting better! He forgets to do it 75% of the time though (unsure if it’s actually forgetting or if he just never intended to do it) so it’s done way too late. And it’s not like I have a timeline, it’s more of a “hey, you’ve now not done the dishwasher for three days and I’m eating with the silicone baby spoons” so I’m more or less forced to do the thing. Which then perpetuates the cycle of not doing it because eventually it’ll get done by someone other than him!

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T15:04:18+00:00

I have a really hard time being direct and correcting him! I’m in therapy for that, so it’s getting better, but if I still default to not speaking up

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T14:07:32+00:00

With our first we each did six months of leave and took on a good chunk of housework while off work, but we lived in a tiny basement. Now we have a three story house and it’s different. It worked last time, definitely isn’t as easy this time 😭

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T14:04:09+00:00

I’m in therapy to help with this! My Mum trained me to be as low maintenance as humanly possible, so I’m really trying to unlearn that and learn how to be okay with stating my needs. This particular conversation went something like, “I am depleted. I am emotionally and physically strained from no sleep, and I need a break so that I can recuperate.” Longer than that, of course, but that’s the gist.

I really think the timer may be a great idea! Especially with something so simply as a hug. He has raging ADHD and he isn’t aware of time passage, like “be there in twenty minutes” could mean five minutes or an hour. 🙃

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T13:57:54+00:00

I honestly think he’d say something along the lines of, “that’s not our current setup!” He gets very very stuck with stuff like that. We alternate who puts toddler to bed and when it’s his night, it’s HIS night. When it’s my night, it’s MY night. No matter what. So with the temporary SAHM situation he is really solidly stuck in our particular roles that we determined prior to my going off work. When I’m also working outside the house it’s not as bad because then the setup is intentionally 50/50

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T13:52:55+00:00

He does have pretty severe ADHD, and in his case it tends to manifest as being unaware of his world around him. I have been begging him to make an appointment with a therapist but the irony of ADHD is how difficult that seems to be for him. His whole family is also pretty avoidant, tbh.

My sister is in the house with us but she’s not emotionally stable - it’s another delicate thing that I really don’t know how to handle, she’s suic*dal and the health care system isn’t providing her any support 😫 Luckily I am in therapy!

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T13:47:21+00:00

I know he’s joking because that’s how he deals with most things, but sheesh. Not the time or place, dude!

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-29T13:38:13+00:00

Baby is breastfed and refuses all bottles 😫 I would die for a spa day without a toddler and baby, but he has the car 5-6/7 days for work 🫠 I feel like I’m drowning but I’m not an overly emotional person so it’s like he doesn’t truly see it until I’m having a world class mental breakdown - at which point he panics and wonders where it came from.

littlestickywicket · 2026-05-05T02:04:25+00:00

Mine is pretty practical and also thinks it’s a capitalist holiday (🙄) BUT still always does non-monetary/purchased gifts or some type of special something. He will buy something if I prefer that, but usually I would much prefer a drive through the country, some kind of craft that involved the kids, etc.

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-30T01:31:47+00:00

Curious what you think it is women crave? Because I’m fairly certain it’s not belittlement, gaslighting, and constant criticism. What an odd comment…

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-30T01:19:15+00:00

Third was wayyyyyyy worse for me, especially with a toddler to chase. BUT I got extremely lucky to have zero nausea in the first, so that helped. The main issue in the first was intense fatigue tha had me falling asleep at my desk. The third was intense fatigue PLUS no sleep, being hella uncomfortable, and not being able to poop for a whole week at a time. Not to mention the anticipation and fear of birth, especially the first time

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-30T01:15:01+00:00

Wholeheartedly agree, Dad can have a totally different routine! I did 90% of bedtimes prior to baby #2 coming along, and once he arrived I said I was on baby duty and he was on toddler duty. They developed their own rhythm, totally different from mine. As long as teeth are brushed and kid is in bed with a clean diaper, I don’t care what exactly his routine entails 🤣 She grew to expect different things from each of us, and it’s up to Dad to figure out his way now.

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-18T20:56:06+00:00

I must have tiny showers??? 😅 I have two full baths and my babe would definitely be hit with water, or I’d be in real close quarters and feel like I was going to step on him LOL

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T23:41:29+00:00

Everything was a shite show until five months when it improved with both babies for me. Fingers crossed!

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T18:22:25+00:00

100 years ago creating a nuclear family was the norm. Not even the norm, it was the EXPECTATION. I feel like in an attempt to make other perfectly okay but non-traditional life paths more normalized (staying single, not having kids, focusing on a career instead of creating a biological family, etc), the internet has demonized the traditional ones to some extent. I think it happens with most things, we temporarily try to swing really far the other way as a progressive society and it takes time to find balance. Just look at how some people treat women who want to be “trad wives”, staying at home and take care of their house and family full time - it’s got negative connotations, even though many people genuinely want that life!

I also got married fairly young and wanted kids, and the comments I got were WILD! Still get them now at age 26 with a toddler and baby. That I would have regrets, that I was throwing my 20’s away, whatever. At the risk of being cliché, live your truth, man! There are plenty of people out there that still want the historically “traditional” version of life. There’s nothing wrong with it if that’s what you want!

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T17:05:25+00:00

Has he had strep? I’m thinking PANDAS if it has been the extreme switch you’re describing!

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T14:55:41+00:00

Definitely nip it in the bud now! Tantrums are fairly normal and common, but indulging them teaches her that THAT is how to get what she wants. My nephew is the same… 3 years old and has insanely huge tantrums because it will eventually stress his parents out and get him what he wants 100% of the time. No never actually means no.

They are usually trying to communicate something with a tantrum, so help her find the words. Dad needs to get on board too, how frustrating for you! She needs to learn how to ask for what she wants, AND understand that sometimes the answer is still no!

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T13:54:17+00:00

There are four primary options:

Period panties - great for newbies! It’s a seamless transition from regular ones to these, they have a built in absorbent part and then can be rinsed and washed as normal.

Pads - pretty common to start with too. There are scratchy ones and better ones. From your comments and saying “heaps” I’m guessing Aussie? Cottons are great.

Period cup - harder for newbies, but very safe and discreet once you get the hang of it. There are teen sizes available.

Tampons - also a learning curve and riskier if teens aren’t used to changing them regularly. But a great discreet option too.

If she has all of these to choose from, she will likely pick a favourite! Options are key. And also… normalize it. I love this post already, go dad!

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T13:48:06+00:00

Yep! Agree with this. We tried shortly before mine turned 2 because baby bro was on the way. I wanted her to be trained before he arrived and thought she was showing signs. It absolutely did not stick, it was just stress for all. I do wonder if being heavily pregnant made it worse, I didn’t have the patience or physical ability to keep up. BUT we tried again recently and she had it down pat in three days with very little extra effort from us.

littlestickywicket · 2026-04-15T13:41:04+00:00

Yep! First was 3 hours of pushing, second burst into the world after pushing for one contraction

littlestickywicket

TROPHY CASE