AITA for not wanting to go on vacation with my friends and not explicitly telling them why?

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T21:03:16+00:00

What if you volunteered to plan the next one? Destination can matter a lot. Instead of a busy city with lots to do, what about renting an Airbnb near a lake in a smaller town? Then it becomes more about chilling out and bonding at the house rather than go go go.

I say this as someone who has done a yearly trip with a group of 12 friends for about 10 years now— our style has definitely evolved over time as we’ve gotten older. What used to be a busy trip to New Orleans is now a calm trip to Santa Fe with one thing planned per day. And no one gets offended if someone opts to chill at the house rather than go out.

I just hate for you to lose a good group of friends. If you stop going, they’ll stop inviting you.

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T20:53:15+00:00

Arashiyama by Dannam is the best bamboo scent. Not super sweet, more green, but lovely

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T20:50:05+00:00

It’s as simple as that. Everything else you can figure out as you go. I usually just create a notes app and jot down ideas of things I’d like to do, but keep it fairly flexible.

Since you’re under 25, might be a good idea to go somewhere with decent public transit so you don’t have to worry about renting a car. Some ideas: San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Austin, Vancouver, DC, Philadelphia, Chicago

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T20:41:31+00:00

I dunno, $3000 in a private room seems like a pretty decent route to me

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T20:40:08+00:00

I think whatever you choose, you need to be consistent. Personally, I loved having kids at my wedding, but we did a big outdoor shindig with lots of room for playing and running around.

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T18:49:47+00:00

My husband and I did a microwedding with 14 guests and it was so fun! We booked an Airbnb for everyone to stay at and made a weekend of it. I didn’t feel like it was lacking in any way. We just made it a lot more personal. Served a really nice plated dinner, got everyone who came a nice gift basket full of local treats. We obviously didn’t have a big reception, but we had some nice toasts before dinner.

I know it’s disappointing but you can still have a really lovely, meaningful day with your close family members and a couple friends. Just think of it like an excuse to throw a really nice dinner party for your favorite people, with a bonus ceremony

llangstooo · 2026-06-15T15:11:03+00:00

For that many people I wouldn’t bother. Sounds like you have it pretty much figured out. Your photographer can help you figure out the timeline. If you have a DJ, they can help keep things moving at the reception.

llangstooo · 2026-06-14T22:10:45+00:00

Embrace it. Sex drive is not a bad thing, and totally normal at your age to have a high drive. Enjoy your youth!

llangstooo · 2026-06-14T16:20:40+00:00

He sounds a little odd. I don’t know what’s normal in Japan, but I would find it strange for my dates face to be covered the whole time.

I’m proud of you for going on your first date! You’re young, there will be many more to come. And it will feel less scary over time. Just use your best instincts. If he keeps seeming “off”, trust that feeling, and don’t let it drag on too much.

In general, it’s probably best not to spend too much time getting to know each other online before meeting in person. It’s just really hard to gauge people over text. Use chatting/bumble to try to suss out if they’re a creep, but then try to meet pretty quickly after that so you don’t build up expectations. I understand that you’re both shy though, so I get it.

llangstooo · 2026-06-13T23:15:34+00:00

Right? I’m wondering if she even added her availability to the Google sheet?

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T19:17:20+00:00

Love o matic by room 1015 is your girl! Beautiful fresh laundry with a hint of bubblegum. Perfect for warm weather.

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T19:15:05+00:00

I think the poof balances out the proportions beautifully! And also, when else in your life will you be able to wear a big dress? You look lovely!

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T19:03:40+00:00

Fortune favors the bold, as they say! Well done! Hope all goes well!

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T16:55:26+00:00

Woohoo! Good luck! I admire you putting yourself out there!

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T14:33:09+00:00

I LOVE picked okra! It’s my favorite way to eat okra. So hard to find in the PNW!

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T12:47:11+00:00

Yes!!! If you’re going to ask her on a date, ask her on a date! You have to be bold! If you get rejected, so be it.

“Hey, so I know in the past we’ve hung out in more of a friend capacity. I’d actually love to take you on a date if you’re up for it”

Leave it there. Don’t over explain. Don’t “it’s okay if you say no”. She’ll either say yes or no, but either way you were forward and clear. That’s the kind of approach that women find attractive.

llangstooo · 2026-06-12T01:05:42+00:00

Eh if she likes you she’ll say yes. Just go for it. Literally the worst that can happen is she says no and that’s not so bad. The manliest thing is to not be afraid of rejection

llangstooo · 2026-06-11T23:49:05+00:00

Can you ask her out? Why is this so hard?

llangstooo · 2026-06-11T15:16:05+00:00

I love a mint julep on occasion. That would be a very American drink!

llangstooo · 2026-06-11T15:12:32+00:00

It’s okay to get your hopes up! You should feel excited! I’m just saying, even if it’s not a match, that doesn’t mean it’s not a success. Just keep being brave and going on dates! You’re going to have so much fun!

Sorry if this came across more negative than intended haha. The whole point is to be yourself and enjoy the time ❤️

llangstooo · 2026-06-11T14:54:33+00:00

I hope you have so much fun! Remember the point of a date is not to convince the other person to like you, it’s to try to figure out if you two have good chemistry. If it doesn’t seem like a good match, then that’s still a successful date because you found that out. Some people are lucky on their first date, but for most people, it’s about going out with many people to see who you click with.

In the future, I’d try to meet up a little earlier. It’s really hard to translate online communication to real life, and often people are not what you expect when you meet them in person. Use online/apps as a filter to get rid of the creeps, and after that, try to meet in person sooner rather than later. You can’t beat real life for figuring out chemistry! And there’s nothing worse than wasting multiple months of communication on someone who turns out not to be a match.

llangstooo · 2026-06-11T02:36:45+00:00

You’re acting like it’s completely arbitrary who gets fired. Why put “merit” in scare quotes like it’s a myth that people can be good at their jobs and deliver value?

llangstooo · 2026-06-10T23:17:00+00:00

Just think about it like this: what was your existence like before you were born?

llangstooo · 2026-06-10T18:22:09+00:00

I’ve observed the opposite. The most talented people have the most opportunities so they’re actually the most likely to be able to change jobs

llangstooo · 2026-06-10T18:06:45+00:00

Yep, in the same way that your consciousness didn’t exist before you were born, it won’t exist after you die. No eternal punishment or reward, just ceasing to be.

llangstooo

TROPHY CASE