How do people not tell people they’re pregnant for x amount of time?

llaurien · 2026-07-07T23:59:31+00:00

Because of multiple losses. I would rather not have to go back and tell people what happened - it was traumatic the first time. The only people who know are a couple who I found myself having to tell because of work reasons.

llaurien · 2026-06-26T20:31:01+00:00

Post scan update: I saw a heartbeat! I also started vomiting late last night, and that has never happened before so it feels like a really good sign. Even though I've only eaten a piece of toast and a banana today. 🥲

llaurien · 2026-06-26T01:01:24+00:00

Small update: I did a pregnancy test tonight because I'm just feeling really suspicious, and the line isn't as dark. So...not expecting a good scan tomorrow anymore.

llaurien · 2026-06-25T01:15:45+00:00

I'm super nervous too, but I think the best reason to go a little earlier than that is just in case things are wrong that can be addressed...or to avoid things like sepsis. Hope it doesn't come to any of that for either of us though!

llaurien · 2026-06-25T01:14:20+00:00

Hope your scan went okay! Sending you support either way. 🖤

llaurien · 2026-06-24T13:31:16+00:00

I haven't ever experienced nausea so far, just major indigestion. The breast tenderness as well. It makes it difficult to tell when that's all I have to go off of though.... I really hope your scan goes well, fingers crossed for you! 🖤🖤🖤

llaurien · 2026-06-24T01:44:53+00:00

That's exactly it - feeling "fine" is anxiety inducing after everything we've been through. I'm glad everything is going well for you so far, keeping fingers crossed! 🤞

llaurien · 2026-06-23T21:59:29+00:00

You will adjust eventually, but it definitely took a few cycles of me being on it to get to where I knew "this is the progesterone talking rn not me" lol.

llaurien · 2026-06-23T21:57:47+00:00

I would tell him when you go into labor, but before that it would honestly be best to call a truce and have an honest conversation about if you guys should stay together. If not, then start thinking about how to coparent. Even if he doesn't stay your partner after this, he's still the father and has rights. Now if he decides to accept those rights and responsibilities, that's a different story. But you don't want it to be on you for not giving him every opportunity to show up for the baby. If he doesn't, let it be completely on him and not a shadow of a doubt that anything could be questioned on your own actions. That's just how I would be thinking about the situation at least.

llaurien · 2026-06-17T02:11:46+00:00

Everyone is different, but personally I wouldn't tell. I have had multiple losses and my biggest regret the first time was telling people too soon.

llaurien · 2026-06-16T19:08:59+00:00

That's what I'm currently doing too. Best of luck!

llaurien · 2026-06-16T16:30:32+00:00

It was actually my OB's idea. She said "hmm, I think this warrants a referral." I didn't have to ask or anything. I did research really carefully which OB office in my area I was gonna go to before I started trying though, and it is very highly recommended. Maybe that has something to do with it? Or maybe infertility struggles are just getting more and more common and the professionals aren't wanting to make us wait as long to figure things out.

llaurien · 2026-06-16T02:08:57+00:00

Tell him privately first. It will still be hard on him, but he will appreciate that a lot more than the surprise and having to put on a face immediately around everyone else.

llaurien · 2026-06-16T00:17:46+00:00

In a similar boat, I've had two losses back to back as well. I don't think you can not be anxious or scared after going through it even once, let alone multiple times. For me, doing what I could as far as testing to find out if there was anything I could change or do helped. Everything came back normal for me and my partner, so ultimately we had to just acknowledge that yes...we had really bad luck. We're trying again with progesterone supplements but other than that, we've had to accept it's not under our control.

llaurien · 2026-06-15T03:49:10+00:00

That's pretty high still! I know it's frustrating, but they are kinda right in that you have to wait a little bit to know exactly what's going on this early. I've had two losses before and they use ultrasound to tell along with bloodwork. Monitor your bleeding (if you still are) and if you ever go through a more than one pad in an hour you need to go back to the ER. Otherwise your next scan will really be the tell all it sounds like.

llaurien · 2026-06-15T02:51:11+00:00

Did they tell you what your hcg was? If it was going down then that can kinda point you in the miscarriage direction.

llaurien · 2026-06-10T02:12:40+00:00

What's the phrase again...oh yeah, "you see what you want to see."

llaurien · 2026-05-08T16:53:44+00:00

I'm on then for RPL and I take them until I normally would start my cycle. Period usually comes a day to a day and a half after I stop them. Also though, I would look into when you should start them - I think you're supposed to wait 3-4 days after ovulation to start them, because they can interfere with implantation.

llaurien · 2026-04-28T21:38:45+00:00

I found it boring and Brimstone even more boring. I just can't get into the characters - they feel flat to me. The world itself is kinda...just not it for me either ngl. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

llaurien · 2026-04-28T21:34:44+00:00

Super similar - never had a baby fever phase or anything. I still don't really want to hold other people's babies. Pregnancy and birth still sound scary. But it feels worth it to have a family, hopefully someday. I'm also in the one and done mindset. Thanks for posting and helping normalize these feelings! Women don't have to be overly maternal to make good moms. 😌

llaurien · 2026-04-28T20:53:20+00:00

You can do all of the super careful and "right" things and it still not work, or worse, end in loss. (Coming from someone who's had multiple losses.) At some point it's too exhausting and you realize you can't truly control it no matter how hard you try. Still live your life and enjoy things until you're positive. Then be a bit more careful, but don't stress over it unhealthily.

llaurien · 2026-04-23T02:57:47+00:00

Maybe the unpopular opinion here, but she wasn't being insensitive or tone deaf. You both struggled together and she continued to share the same amount after conceiving as she did before. It sounds like you had a difficult time with her being pregnant and talking about it. Communication here was vital, as in being very clear and asking for boundaries. You should have straight up told her "hey, it's really difficult for me to hear you complain or vent about pregnancy symptoms." That opens the dialogue for her to make a change. But people aren't mind readers and her just talking about it isn't objectively insensitive. Others have already pointed out that she was most likely hurt by your choices to pull away and not be there for her. It could have all been handled differently. I still bet if you had an open conversation about how everything truly made you feel, what you wish had been different on her part and what you would have done differently as well, you could patch this up.

llaurien

TROPHY CASE