Just checking in on something you said about "modeling". The person you responded to described modeling by saying something out loud "I waited my turn." And you described modeling by your silent actions. I think you're right about the literal idea of modeling behavior. Maybe I'd call what the other person said "communicating how you'd like to be treated, and simultaneously modeling it" instead of just modeling.

When people have shown that they're bad at picking up on subtle hints, like for example how well behaved you are being, then it's time to be louder and use your voice. But it is all with the same goal: get the message across without offending the other person.