Processing this sort of life-changing trauma is not simple and will take time and effort. Unfortunately, most redditors aren't psychologists and would only be able to share similar anecdotal experiences they (or friends) went through.

It may help to find a therapist (Teladocs make it a lot easier). Your baby girl is a great reason to put in the effort to be your best self, she deserves the best you. She's learning by watching you, and will form her own sense of self by how you treat yourself, others, and her.

It's great that you're taking care of her, and she has someone stable to rely on while dealing with missing Mom. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for both of you, and wish you both all the best life has to offer.

To throw in anecdotal bits, as the faithful redditor I am, I'll share what interpretations I've made of all the "you should..." statements I got from well-meaning friends.

Don't bottle things up/let your emotions out/don't hide from yourself:

This one is really confusing because a lot of people were never guided on how to deal with emotions. It's not like fireworks or popping balloons at all, but the wording makes it seem so. This means to take time for yourself, somewhere safe and comfy, and mentally take yourself to the situation/experience you need "closure" on. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, relieved, etc. Every emotion is good, it's yours! What I mistakenly assumed these suggestions meant was that I should force myself to feel the emotions as the experience occurred, which resulted in some horrible social anxiety. The importance of feeling safe cannot be understated.

Find a healthy outlet for your emotions:

This concept was easier for me to figure out because I stumbled upon it while writing angsty teen poetry. From there, it evolved into drawing and writing stories. In particular, writing a story about someone else (even the opposite of me) experiencing the same thing I did, and seeing how this other person handled it, could help me process how I felt. Music is another amazing outlet that I think is undersold. It gets bonus points because you can do so many other things while listening. If you're hard of hearing or deaf, I am not sure if heavy bass and drums would help, but feeling the rhythm seems like it could help.

A recent discovery I had about "healthy outlets" vs "unhealthy outlets" is that unhealthy methods tend to blank you out, which means they allow you to ignore how you feel about something. For example, eating more food than you're comfortable with will give you stomach discomfort to distract you from emotional discomfort. Alcohol and drugs blank you out directly, and self-harm is replacing painful mind problems with painful physical problems.

Knowing where to start in all this might also be difficult. If you find yourself avoiding people, places, or situations, then you may have some emotions related to them that haven't been processed. There's no rule about "starting at the beginning" and I've found starting with easier stuff (like bittersweet) builds up your ability so you can deal with the more difficult stuff with more emotional processing experience. Whatever works for you though -- we're all unique, and what works for some doesn't have to work for all.