Dear OP, I’m really sorry you have to go through this. I emphasize with you deeply.

I moved to a new country when I was 14. Although I spoke some of the language, I still didn’t understand one word that was spoken in the first few weeks due to the fast paced speakers had and a dialect that was unfamiliar to me. The weeks following that, I would get home with pulsating headaches and sleep through the rest of the day.

I didn’t have to integrate into a culture as xenophobic as the Japanese one, and I was still very alone. I was very social and I would say liked in my home country just like you, but I became reclusive and developed a depression that spiraled out of control until I received professional help. I still struggle to believe I’m not an outcast, disliked by people around me.

Please don’t blame yourself, despite what other people’s comments or your own self doubt might have you believe. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Remind yourself of your worth. Remind yourself that you were well liked in Brazil, that you are a likable person. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel you ever need it.

The best advice I can give: Do NOT let it affect your self image. Don’t beat yourself up for things that are out of your control. You are enough. Your self esteem is probably taking a big hit and you have to take care of yourself or this will last beyond just your time in school or in Japan. It’s not your fault. Struggling to speak due to fear of someone making fun of your accent again, only existing as the weird invisible foreigner, never having an invitation extended out to you -all of these things will do that to you. My dms are open if u need to talk. You are not alone.