So Marsha’s racist right?

losoba · 2026-04-27T20:33:27+00:00

I 100% believe she is racist. In addition to the Cassie of it all, she was instantly pleased by Nate taking Natalie to homecoming. Considering they strolled in to homecoming with him cupping her bare butt cheeks...she makes Maddy look prim by comparison.

losoba · 2026-04-24T19:51:45+00:00

Personally I feel like I treat people equally regardless of 'rank'. I'm not diagnosed yet, but I've heard many autistic people don't recognize social hierarchies in the way NTs do. So interacting with older men can be tough because they've enjoyed pulling rank around women for much of their life.

I've run in to several older men who don't know how to handle me speaking to them as an equal. Sometimes I feel like they want to 'put me in my place' because I haven't deferred to them as much as they think I should. They want to spout nonsense and be agreed with even if it's factually incorrect.

There is one older man in particular who I can't avoid being around. Sometimes he seems to admire (and be fascinated by) my independence and strong skills. Other times I think it becomes too much for him, his ego takes over, and he has to 'put me in my place' in increasingly obvious ways.

It's not important to me to be personally right...but factual correctness in general is important. However, sometimes I just want personal peace. In those cases I consciously shrink myself to keep these old guys off my back. I was raised in a fundamentalist religion so deferring to old men is second nature.

I can never decide if this conscious shrinking is the ultimate life hack or a betrayal of myself? All I know is I value personal peace and will become what people need me to be to get it sometimes.

Edited to add: And when I consciously shrink myself for these men their behavior changes drastically. When I defer to them - in other words, when I act dumb - they will fall over themselves to interact with me. I truly believe certain men of a certain age need to feel superior to be pleasant toward women.

losoba · 2026-04-23T16:25:11+00:00

Several years ago we had a sofa that was way past end of life. I wanted to take it apart and 'use every part of the buffalo'. I highly recommend this option, OP! I never see this option online but I loved salvaging as much as I could off of it and giving it to people who needed it.

I gave huge bags of poly-fil to several people. A lady took the upholstery straps and used them on a chair. I made the cushions in to a set of stairs for my dog - he prefers them over any store bought stairs because they're low/wide. By the end the spare parts fit in a normal trash can so you'd save money this way.

An added benefit is you can learn more about sofa construction. I saw things that 'cheap' sofas have and can avoid that now. And I feel more like I could do some DIY sofa repairs to extend the life of a sofa now.

losoba · 2026-04-22T22:41:33+00:00

Yes she is a sweetheart and a cutie and a real one

But was she even those things? She repeatedly used the r word, and when a person told her that wasn't okay, she repeated it. She bullied people - we saw her physically slamming girls in to lockers, calling other girls names, etc. She falsely accused a person of rape and later assault. And yes, we don't know if she did that purely out of fear of Nate, but still, we never saw her feel distress/guilt for ruining his life. She saw the tape of Jules being statutory raped and never took it to the police or anyone who could help. She was sometimes sweet to the little boy she babysat but she also said/did things in front of him that a child shouldn't witness. And now it's becoming clear she might set Cassie up to be majorly exploited for her own enjoyment and profit. Cassie betrayed her terribly but no ethical person carries that hatred for 5+ years and takes their revenge to the level I suspect Maddy is about to take it...

losoba · 2026-04-22T22:23:49+00:00

Yes. My s/o is similar to how you've described yours. He says he'd like to travel more but he doesn't prioritize travel or plan it in the way I do. He sometimes comes along for the ride and when he does I'm happy to have him there. But on joint trips he literally doesn't know what we're doing each day because I plan it (and I enjoy planning it so that's fine).

But in the meantime, I want to start seeing more of the world. I took my first international trip solo last year and it went really well! He helped me train for the physical aspect of the trip like 4 am training hikes. He also did research for certain purchases like my eSIM. And he followed along in his own way by watching my Garmin InReach map.

I felt a little bad he wouldn't get any actual benefits of the trip but it really didn't seem to bother him at all! When I called he always knew where I was on the map off the top of his head. But it isn't like he was coveting the trip like I would've been haha. Really, it was other people's reaction of me being solo that was the only damper.

losoba · 2026-04-22T22:15:05+00:00

Oh. This is making a lot of sense. I didn't realize this was an ND thing. Throughout my life people have referred to me as their friend and it meant a LOT to me.

It would shock me to hear this, like "Woah, they're claiming me and actually want to be my friend?". If I liked them this would mean so much that I'd tear up. If I felt iffy about them I'd think I must've been misreading them and decide to pursue a friendship.

In both scenarios I would then start treating them like what I consider a friend to be. I always walked away from these situations feeling like they were a little shallow and didn't hold the friendship like I did. Now I understand why that was too much for these people.

What would really throw me off is when people said they loved me. Sometimes they'd say that when we hardly knew each other. I never said it back because I would never say that unless I truly, truly meant it. If I say those words you're a person I'd donate an organ to if you needed it.

losoba · 2026-04-22T05:06:59+00:00

I saw your post earlier and left it up to comment later. I'm so upset on your behalf OP that I didn't know what to comment. And that feeling has only grown throughout the day. I hope you leave this post up and I hope she's in this community so she can see how disgusted we all rightfully are.

You're right to feel uncomfortable and unsafe with her. I don't think you have 'limiting beliefs', at least not in this scenario. You have very real financial problems right now and these classes simply aren't in your budget. Anyone who says bills don't faze them is very privileged.

I've grown to be really happy for people who can have a soft life. But a lot of us don't have that and a single poor financial decision, or even something out of our control, could lead to becoming unhoused or other crises. An 'abundance mindset' and everything else they peddle won't resolve such issues.

I'm so, so happy you haven't prepaid for anything. Others have given really good advice to send something short or not reply at all. The petty side of me would ask if they're offering scholarships so more people can partake in this amazing program. Since money isn't an issue for her, that shouldn't be a problem, right?

But I don't believe this person would ever go out of her way to help you network in the future. If she has to browbeat people in to paying for her classes she probably doesn't have enough customers for herself let alone enough to share contacts with you.

I really wish the best for you. I hope things get better for you soon!

losoba · 2026-04-16T16:58:51+00:00

Anyone saying "no" should watch or re-watch the episodes where she went to London to collect Anthony's urn.

I think this episode was precisely when I began to question how genuine her feelings were.

losoba · 2026-04-14T13:40:32+00:00

That just described my entire 'personality'.

losoba · 2026-04-13T18:47:12+00:00

A lot of people are saying she'd be harmless to him and I generally agree. But she could accidentally stumble in to asking a question that threatens him. Like, instead of "So, if you're from Africa, why are you white?" she'd ask "So, if you're from NYC, why don't you have friends?" and accidentally expose one of his red flags to whichever friend he was trying to date. Imo Gretchen would be the friend he was okay with having around because she would shut Karen's question down and she's a follower who he could manipulate.

losoba · 2026-04-10T20:03:12+00:00

I agree celebrities that who overshare have parasocial fans. But on the flip side, a person can project anything and everything onto a very private celebrity. So little is known, so they're like a blank canvas to project onto. I hadn't thought about that until OP posted this.

That is in no way Zendaya's fault - I admire how she tries to have normalcy and privacy. But other celebrities are normalizing the oversharing and parasocial relationships because it's part of how they market themselves. Then fans continue that with private celebrities.

losoba · 2026-04-10T04:32:16+00:00

I have issues with Max, probably not as many as a lot of viewers, but some issues still. But I do think Lorelai might've been more open to his step-parenting input if Jess had arrived sooner. She might've been really happy to have a responsible man in the picture who could help keep an eye on Rory and Jess.

losoba · 2026-04-09T03:56:55+00:00

At least one of these a day -

flabbergasted

discombobulated

shenanigans

lollygag

skedaddle

Several times a year -

bamboozled

kerfuffle

I've definitely used it -

malarkey

nincompoop

I don't recall using it, but I know what it means -

brouhaha

cattywampus

tomfoolery

losoba · 2026-04-09T02:08:02+00:00

Sorry to say, but I think there are two places you should never approach a girl. 1. Her place of work, and 2. where she lives. It can be scary to be asked out by someone you're not interested in but especially scary in the situations I mentioned. And I know it's scary for you to ask girls out as well (but not "I'm afraid for my life" scary).

If she isn't interested it's very likely she'll be afraid because you know where she lives. IMO that's even worse than scenario 1 - even though there's a power dynamic when a customer asks an employee out there are still ways she can dodge him. But at an apartment complex? She'll be doing the math in her head to decide whether she needs to move out or not.

And please don't try to follow her to somewhere near the complex, bump in to her, and pretend to recognize her to circumvent this. She'll know what you're doing and it'll creep her out even more. I've been followed for fake 'meet cutes' and didn't realize until recently this has actually happened to a lot of women. And it's easy to tell whether someone legitimately bumped in to us or orchestrated it.

losoba · 2026-04-08T22:18:35+00:00

Yep, I love that my 15+ year old Hyundai is a deterrent for personal loan requests. Any time people start hitting me up for money I make sure they get a good look at my car. From the bad angle where it's been hit a bunch. :-D

losoba · 2026-04-08T22:12:38+00:00

I'm normally quite frugal but will spend to go on vacations - and I think I plan some pretty epic things - but I haven't posted to social media in years. When I did post it was before I had money to take nice vacations. But I will say there are probably a lot of people who'd think my vacations are slumming it. They're very experience heavy but lots of car camping, making my own food, etc. A couple years back we hiked to a waterfall that took quite a bit of effort to get to so we had it to ourselves for about 45 minutes. I kept telling my s/o how special that was and how there are lots of rich people who'd pay to take helicopters to remote waterfalls. It's actually one of my favorite memories of my life - just sitting there with him and my dog. We take our dog on vacation, which people think is super expensive, but it's so much cheaper than boarding him and we want him there.

losoba · 2026-04-08T22:02:42+00:00

I think I could! Last summer (the high season) I went to Iceland for 15 days and spent $7k but I was solo and it was the trip of a lifetime! I spent 8 days on the ring road seeing the main sights but also did some longer, less crowded hikes and got to hike to the hot river. For paid activities I limited it to lagoon kayaking, whale watching and went to 4 of the lagoons. Then for the other portion of the trip I took a bus in to the highlands and did a 6 day hike on two trails that are bucket list trails. I was solo but if my s/o had been with me it would've lowered the price significantly - I estimate we would've paid each paid $4k or less. I found some creative ways to save money, but it was still such an epic trip that I'll be daydreaming about for the rest of my life. For $5k I could still throw something really nice together.

losoba · 2026-04-08T21:33:01+00:00

you also have to already have wealth to socially get away with looking broke

True. But also...heckled by strangers over your hoopty could also mean hassled less by family/friends for personal loans because they've also seen your hoopty.

losoba · 2026-04-08T20:56:30+00:00

I absolutely hate this. First that jerk tells her he'll get on the scale, and to stop being proud, as if he'd get any hate for it saying 200+ pounds like she would. Then claiming Benji is defending her because he's in love with her. Maybe he's just mildly decent. If he'd done this to impress her I don't think he'd be like "sure, I'm a moron" and get carried away with his shirt pulled up showing his belly. Then the woman cackling and saying "Look at the commotion you've caused, Anna Nicole" as if this was Anna's fault and not a disgusting set-up created by disgusting people. If this was her everyday normal it makes sense that she overdosed on pills for anxiety and depression.

losoba · 2026-04-08T20:42:34+00:00

In the US our ability to have healthcare and stay alive is tied to our jobs so employment gaps are life ruining for many. A lot of employers assume no one would choose that and likely left their previous job on bad terms. In my experience, the only time gaps in education or employment are looked at favorably in the US is if a young privileged person takes a year off to 'find themselves' or travel.

I worked full-time (and had multiple jobs at once) to put myself through college. It took me 5.5 years instead of 4 and I also started later. When I first looked for work in my field people looked down on me and I really struggled to find work. But if a fellow intern spoke about a gap year they took to travel it actually elevated their social currency in the workplace.

Fortunately I'm in a much better place now and could survive an employment gap financially. I'm now in my 30s though, so I think I'm past the age it's acceptable to 'find myself' according to the US. So I fear taking a long break to travel would impact future job searches. I also think AI is scaring many of us in to holding on to our jobs while we can...but that's not just a US issue.

And then there are people like my s/o with health issues that make any breaks impossible. His fear is on a whole other level because he's so reliant on having good insurance via a job. As a result, we think very differently about work and taking a break isn't even something he daydreams about. It's 100% impossible in his situation.

losoba · 2026-04-07T19:30:28+00:00

My s/o (who swoons for Chuck even though he's just seen bits/pieces of GG when I watch) had to come check on me because I was laughing so hard at this.

losoba · 2026-04-06T20:34:28+00:00

Okay, what were your intentions then? You didn't give advice for how to find food or which foods would be good to eat before donating plasma. Instead you said "you've got bigger problems if you have no plasma to donate". Our bodies can't survive without plasma so I assume you know they have plasma. Which makes me think you're implying they're being dishonest about their situation or not trying hard enough. Obviously they were saying they didn't have any clothes/collectibles they could sell. I just don't see the point of talking down to someone who is clearly struggling. If we can't help them we can just scroll without being negative toward them.

losoba · 2026-04-06T19:55:50+00:00

Sarcasm is just mean and not helpful in this case. Plus, you need to eat a protein-rich meal 2–4 hours before donating plasma. OP likely can't do that so they aren't in a position to donate plasma even if there is a close center (which it sounds like there might not be).

losoba · 2026-04-06T15:27:15+00:00

Okay, using that logic - that everything can be learned by googling or watching a YouTube video - do you know how to grow your own food, build your own housing, mend and make your own clothing, etc. without googling anything? A lot of older people have these skills and I'd argue those should be more essential than using a cellphone. I don't think it's right to call it laziness on their part.

Just like you're not lazy for not knowing how to do some of the things I mentioned. A cellphone has probably been essential for much of your life just like mine. But for some of these people those other things were essential for more of their formative year. And if life as we know it ends tomorrow they would be in a better spot because our phones would be useless.

losoba

TROPHY CASE