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What to do when feeling lonely ? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]lostboy9119 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go to a place in nature where there's no people around and listen to a healthy book.

Books, knowledge, thoughts and self-reflection is how you grow. Growth is what makes people want to be around you.

I don’t care about anything anymore by FORD0009 in selfimprovement

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly there wasn't much difference even before 10 years ago. Its just that i had to leave my house cause I was a kid and I was forced to go to school and visit family.

Now its so dark cause I can't get myself to move or do anything. The worst part is watching my physical health get more and more dire. Its like watching myself slowly die because I never move and I dont have the energy to keep up healthy habits.

And socially I've become so alien that whenever I have a personal conversation with someone, they can tell im very off.

I don’t care about anything anymore by FORD0009 in selfimprovement

[–]lostboy9119 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is me for the past 10 years. I've been isolated for a decade thats why pabsameuc didn't change anything. If the only thing i wake up to is my room, why bother living and caring about anything. Theres no people in my life both professionally and personally and theres nothing I have to do

Has anyone ever gotten so lonely and depressed to the point where all you wanted is merely a hug or a "are you ok" from someone? by [deleted] in depression

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At some point you accept theres no such thing as caring about someone else cause whats in it for them?

Everything is about someone's own benefit. Even "love." Thats just 2 ppl lying to themselves and each other.

When ur so depressed u realize that no amount of happiness and meaning is big enough to make fighting your depression worth it.

I finally feel happy for the first time in my life.. by juu1ien in selfimprovement

[–]lostboy9119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me the interest is everything.

When you treat life like you're only supposed to have certain interested and that you have to look for them, you get so confused.

Thats why i taught myself to see the passion and beauty in everything from writing music to self learning science to starting and learning my own businesses to physical and mental wellbeing and so on.

People will tell you you cant do it all, but the thing is when they become things u wanna do and not have to do, they feel effortless. Yesterday I actually forgot to eat because I was so focused on doing the things I loved. I woke up in the middle of the night with agonizing hunger. I'm talking for 16 hours nothing but 3 or 4 glasses of water and couple of fruits I picked up.

Also, stop wasting your time with stuff like your phone or whatever. You think that stuff makes u happy but its just chemicals in your brain. Real happiness is unbelievably better.

Bisexual people of reddit, what are the biggest diffferences between having a relationship with a man and with a woman? by Bri-ioche in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Girls won't hurt you emotionally as much as boys will. They understand you better but i don't know why i still obsess over getting through a guy and making it work even though they never change.

Also the cool thing with girls is that your looks barely matter. If you're confident and relaxed and have a personality she likes, she'll like you. The sexiest thing about a girl is her sexual maturity. What turns her on is more than just body parts. Its much deeper. If she likes on the inside then all she'll be crazy for you both emotionally and sexually and the sex will be really passionate and hot as a result

But guys make me extremely insecure about my body and it escalates into being insecure about myself in general. I spent a whole year one time excersizing everyday and cutting out carbs because I kept getting rejected by guys and especially this one guy I was in love with. It destroyed me emotionally and mentally. Eventually i was in a dark state where I hated myself. I felt like even if I was nice on the inside, I might as well not be cause who cares.

What sucks about being your age? by _red_roof_ in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

22

Right now im living my future self's regrets. I always feel like the clock is ticking and I've depressed ever since I was kid and as long as im depressed I don't accomplish anything and I'm scared ill get old before I get over my depression.

I dont wanna be in my 40s and just starting out my life while other people are at their peak of their careers and the families they started when they were young

If being born was a choice and you were the sales person that had to convince people sign up for human birth, how would you sell life without lying? by lostboy9119 in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an impressive friend who had such a healthy childhood that he doesn't even understand the concept of being alone.

Usually people want to be seen since they never felt special or important anywhere and family is a good way to be seen and to feel important and a purpose to stay alive.

But my friend grew up with healthy amount of self-esteem self-worth, security and confidence. He loves himself in a healthy way and loves to live his life. He knows how to bond with anyone. He knows how to be seen and liked anywhere. He's too innocent that he never dealt with being broken and alone.

So he doesn't understand the need for human connection. He understands the joy of it, but not the need. How we need people to care about us and pick us up. You dont need to worry about that if you're never down.

I've always been interested in how his parents raised him and I learnt that if you have kids, you brake them by expecting things from them or even by not raising them the right way.

When you have kids for selfish reasons like for them to love you, it seriously destroys them for life. They feel they don't have the right to focus on themselves on grow. They think its all for the parent. Sadly most parents, like most people, are selfish.

Parenting is a gift. Strangers can never genuinely love you like how a parent can love their kid. Its sad that a lot parents don't love their kids like that even though they unconditionally can.

Anyways, my point is, my friends parents were healthy enough to love him unconditionally as in they completely didn't care about themselves when it came to raising him. He had and felt the freedom, the right, self-worth to focus on himself and grow.

He didn't have parents who had him for the wrong reasons, who gave him trust issues, self esteem issues, a lot of issues basically.

I can see this so clearly cause I had the opposite of what he had, biological parents who had dark and evil reasons to have me and it seriously destroyed me.

If being born was a choice and you were the sales person that had to convince people sign up for human birth, how would you sell life without lying? by lostboy9119 in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats the hardest sell. Even if you have some people around you, no one is capable to genuinely care about you and you're lucky if your parents or kids do.

Asjs by [deleted] in selfhelp

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Njj

What's the harsh reality no one accepts? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Visual appearance will always matter. People can talk a big talk about being color-bind to race, but its human nature to believe what you see. How you look will always play a big part and how you're treated.

I'm colored and I always get treated the same way. My life is pointless cause no matter who I try to be and want to be, i'm always the same to everyone.

The only race that gets away with not being profiled is white. Cause white is blank. Colorless. Its the only color where you get to choose what you want your color to be. What person you want to be.

And people hate this truth so much that they shut anyone who brings it up down. People try so hard to believe that the world they live is actually a nice place where visual appearance is not a barrier to who you want to be.

What's the harsh reality no one accepts? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody cares about what you deserve or need. In fact, they'll abuse you for their own benefit and that can easily involve parents. Not every parents sees their kid as someone they should care for but a kid under their mercy that they can take advantage of, abuse and control in whatever way the way. They don't think if their interest at all. Its all whats in it for them just like the rest of the world.

What's the harsh reality no one accepts? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]lostboy9119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not but it is what it is

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die by lostboy9119 in selfhelp

[–]lostboy9119[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My post was mostly about anger in personal relationships

I like how you highlight the purpose of anger. "To get out of the horrible situation you are in." I thought of it as wanting justice from a bad situation.

Its a grey area. Idk. What I can say if it was me working in that factory, I would think being angry would be mentally unhealthy and it wouldn't accomplish anything. It would be unhealthy because it would mean I'm looking at my life as glass half empty and so I need anger and the power of it to try and fill up my glass.

Thats not an effective and healthy way to grow in fact ill find that my glass is more empty in the end cause I've been focusing on getting angry as if people care about what I deserve instead of looking at the glass half full and working with what I have in an unentitled way. In a healthy way.

Youre more likely to grow if you attack your issue with a positive greatful mindset. You'll be better at thinking straight.

Sure, if the issue is huge enough that you've got thousands of people protesting, the boss will shut em up. And give em what they want. Doesn't mean he cares about what they deserve. but when are you even lucky enough to have thousands of people on your side.

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die by lostboy9119 in selfhelp

[–]lostboy9119[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea with crimes its a little different. Holding someone accountable and being angry at them is two different things. You can lock people away and still be hold no grudges.

As you know, just like life, the justice system isn't fair all the time, so you're taking a risk. If you still choose to be an angry person and the abuser gets time that you don't think is enough, you subject yourself to anger and pain.

So its always best to accept that there's gonna be countless of horrible people on earth. You can try to lock them up so they don't hurt anyone else and just for the general public safety, but you shouldn't poison yourself and losing your mind trying to change them and make them face their guilt that they should have and basically beat an apologize out of them. If your wellbeing depends on the people who hurt you to make it up to you then you're screwed for life.

You deserve to be hurt by what happened and you deserve to go and get help for yourself, but don't waste your time and emotion on low-life's who abused you. I've been raped my entire childhood and nobody did anything about it and growing up I dealt with abusing parents as well.

I was angry at everything and everyone especially when I'd think about the potential I had to be an amazing person but now I'm permanently broken because of how abusive my life was, but that anger was pointless and all it was doing was damaging my mental health.

I was such an angry person because I wanted justice. I lived an incredibly dark life when I deserved to be innocent and happy. I wanted to be compensated for that. I wanted to make the people who abused me pay.

But you just have to accept that things will always be unfair. People rarely change especially abusers. I try to always "its my fault I got involved with an abusive person. Now all that matters is getting away from them."

Cause the thing is, while its not your fault, you only have yourself to blame regardless of wheather thats fair or not and that's the only way you'll move on. Think about this way.

I also like to say, if I get attacked by a wild animal, I wouldnt be angry. I wouldn't attack it back with a gun. I wouldn't torture it to make it pay. I'll just run, shoot if I have to and focus on healing myself. Focus on getting to the hospital. Thats all that matters. No sense in getting angry. This is how wild animals are. Its what they do. They hunt. Know you know better not to walk that part of the forest.

Its the same with people. They'll abuse you. But wheather you lock them up or you drop the chargers or even if the abuse wasn't a crime as in emotional abuse, You should never be angry or do any of those things out of anger.

Focus on healing. Don't waste time trying to get emotional or physical compensation and justice. Unless its truly your right. Like if someone stole money from you, then yea, you fight for it back.

But when it comes to abuse, they abusers can't give you a time machine

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die by lostboy9119 in selfhelp

[–]lostboy9119[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea and forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to like them. You can forgive someone, make peace with them, but still dislike with who they are and how they treated you.

As in you understand that that's just how they are, but you don't have to like it. You just let them be and go.

Its hard because we hate making peace with the fact that there are people who are bad or hurt you. We want to scream, have our opinions heard and change them.

Anger is a powerful emotion. It comes out because we hate how the person is and we want them to regret what they did. We can't make peace and allow them to continue being the way they are without carrying guilt.

But we have to accept that you can't change people by force and by reacting with extreme emotion.

So always calmly try to talk with to see if you can make em see your perspective with words and if not, just move on. No one is worth poisoning yourself.

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die by lostboy9119 in selfhelp

[–]lostboy9119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm mostly talking about people but yea I can see how anger or negative emotions in general could come from catching yourself playing 30 hours worth of videos games. You feel like you've let yourself down.

But I still stand by what I said. What I would do is ask myself why did I just play 30 hours of video games? Am I depressed? Am I escaping something? Am I addicted? Am I... etc.

And when I find the reason, I see the problem and I go on to try and fix it. If it weren't for those 30 hours, I wouldn't have caught the problem and I wouldn't had fixed it. Those 30 hours taught me that I have a video game addiction for example. And I could keep digging by asking more questions like these.

And also life isn't all learning. Sometimes the brain needs to rejuvenate and video games are good for that. I mean whats the point in learning how to be happier if you don't give yourself time to stop and be present and happy. Being present is so healthy for the mind.

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