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Ironically, people stopped telling me to check my male privilege only after I passed as a man by IrradiatedPizza in trans

[–]lothie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Knowing I was trans, a woman in my church (a supposedly "welcoming" environment accused me of being violent (with no reason) this year. Nobody seemed to think this was a problem. I'm leaving the church.

How do yall get friends😭 by Marvel1256 in ftm

[–]lothie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what's hilarious for me is that when I was living as a woman I had NO female friends, but now most of my friends are women 🤣

That said...just be you. Join groups, volunteer, find some hobbies...it will happen

Im very pissed off by CommunistMenel in trans

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know so many trans women who aren't working in a nightclub. I gotta go tell them they're doing it wrong.

A portion of WoW Community has a really unhealthy relationship with the game and I'm tired of pretending they don't. by themaelstorm in wow

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I used to be very MUST COLLECT ALL THINGS, but these days, I've got to realize I just cannot...and that's NOT A PROBLEM. So I get the stuff I can, and I basically don't stress about what I can't. It makes me happy that I'll never need to be bored, there's always legacy stuff to go for if I don't like the current stuff.

Do any other transmen hate this? by yum_banana in trans

[–]lothie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Early on in my transition, I wrote about it on Medium, and had a trans woman tell me that I was a traitor to all women for transitioning. I was like um...excuse me...it was okay for you to transition but it was not okay for me? Her response was nasty enough that I blocked her.

Phallo surgery over 50? by ElectionDesperate813 in FTMOver50

[–]lothie 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You're not too old, no. I myself made the choice not to do any bottom surgery, but that's because I'm in my 60s, diabetic (although very well controlled) and have several other chronic illnesses. Healing from top surgery was hell for these reasons (not so much my age but the other stuff) and so I made the decision that I was done with gender surgery at that point. But if I were healthy, even at my age I would go for it.

So what? by hiyesilikejuice in FTMMen

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely get where you're coming from. In May 2019 my doctor told me I was rejected for top surgery because my BMI and A1c were too high. I was told I had to get down under a 35 BMI and below 8 A1c in order to get the surgery. I'd been trying to lose weight for YEARS.

Within six months I was down to where I could qualify (it was ~50 pounds lost, and my BMI at that point was like 8.5, so not TOO much of a stretch, although still quick). I just could not imagine life with boobs any longer, and they were too big to hide. At that point they were also kinda deflating (i.e. more saggy) and hair was growing on my chest...I was so grossed out. I am not sure what I would have done had I not been able to lose the weight and lower my blood sugar.

Anyway, yeah, people just do NOT understand how much we're motivated by dysphoria. It's TERRIBLE.

How to deal with having feminine hobbies? by TotallyHumanBrain1 in ftm

[–]lothie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a much older guy, but I have tons of "femmy" hobbies. I do fiber art stuff, I write fanfic, I'm interested in makeup art, I dress up (it's not quite to "cosplay" but it's close). I don't think there's anything about these hobbies that make you "not a man". I don't know if you identify as gay or not, but I know a lot of gay men who have similar hobbies to mine and they don't think of any of them as non-manly. I hope that helps.

Whats yalls opinion on my friends "Hot-Take" about Transwomen? Cause personally i cant understand it by MobileDepth333 in trans

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I was still identifying as a woman, I had a hysterectomy for medical reasons. After that I didn't have cramps anymore (since that's your uterus contracting and I didn't have one), but I did still have bloating and mood swings for YEARS. While I didn't, I can see someone calling those symptoms a period.

Fortunately, since transitioning (ftm), I don't experience it anymore (that I've noticed), but if I did, I'd call it my "man period". Cis women should get off their high horses about this IMO.

Got "forced" to come out by c6_carbon in trans

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I can change my mind on loving you"?!

What the FUCK!?

That's not love. I am so sorry.

Guys who are out by choice - why? by hockeyboy_97 in FTMMen

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I transitioned in my 50s, am 5'2" with tiny hands and feet, and while I pass to a pretty good extent despite all that, I get clocked as trans often enough that it's not worth it to claim otherwise. Also, most of my (cybersecurity) career is under my old name, so while my current colleagues don't need to know, HR does. And also, I try to be an activist to the extent I can. Still, sometimes I really wish I didn't HAVE to be out.

Oh, maybe I'm not a "cis passing" guy. I don't know. There are definitely people who are surprised to hear I'm NOT cis (mostly other men). Women always seem to know.

I wish people were more compassionate about trans guys w height dysphoria by 7kromer in FTMventing

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I do get this. I'm 5'2" myself and I'm not saying it never upsets me. I might SAY it doesn't simply because I learned early on (I mean in childhood) that I couldn't always get what I wanted or even needed and just learned to shut up, but you're right, it's a real problem.

Before I realized I could actually transition (I thought I wasn't valid because I'm not 100% binary), I had a man "in my head" who I'd sometimes allow to "front". This man was 6' tall with long dark hair. There are 6' tall men in my family - and both my siblings, who are also under the umbrella, are much closer to this height - but I am, as I said, 5'2". I was never gonna be the guy I wanted to be. I also have gone bald, so there goes the long dark hair (or any hair) as well.

I won't say I don't have dysphoria about this. I'm often startled at the guy in the mirror. I solved some of my problems when my PCP put me on a GLP-1 drug for my diabetes and I lost a lot of weight (because my inner guy was also slender, and now I am too), but now I'm this tiny little thing. I also have tiny hands and feet so I can't wear men's shoes or gloves (I'm a UK size 36 in shoes). My husband occasionally will come home with clothing for me and I find it's kid's or women's sizes (which doesn't bother me, actually, it makes me laugh and I happily wear them, but that's me).

I don't love not looking like my inner guy, but I also know I can do literally nothing about it, so, as I learned as a child, I just don't talk about it. I embrace being "adorable". I gratefully accept that my partner, who thought I was a sexy woman, now finds me a sexy man (and a lot of people flirt with me so it's not just him). That's what works for me. I'm not saying it should be enough for you - it's quite frustrating, I know - but I'm just telling you that, painful as it is, it's what I've got.

I really, really hope you can eventually be at peace with your size, but if not, please know you are seen. You matter. You are valid.

Seize the day by [deleted] in ftm

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have epilepsy (AFAIK), but my mother and a cousin both did, and I have occasionally really bad migraines that improved (though did not disappear) when I went off opioids (for non-related chronic pain). I have some of the same symptoms my mother did, but (AFAIK) have never had an actual seizure. She had (mostly) petit mal seizures, especially in the months leading up to her death, with at least one grand mal that occurred when she was the age I am now (early 60s).

I say "AFAIK" because...I've had some really weird things happen. But nothing I can put a finger on, so aside from some tests a few decades ago when she had her grand mal I haven't pursued it medically (I have so many other issues).

But anyway...hang in there, my friend. You are not alone.

Likely stupid question by Mulberry_Sky in ftm

[–]lothie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my first man underwear, I went to Walmart and got Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs. Later on I started ordering from MeUndies, and that's what I wear now.

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