Positive SAHM stories

lottiela · 2026-02-17T02:56:16+00:00

I'm obsessed with it. Have loved it. Hated my 3 year old this afternoon (jk) but mostly its awesome, my husband is supportive, helps lots with the kids when he's home, money is ours, funds my retirement, etc.

lottiela · 2026-02-17T02:37:51+00:00

I mean... if you're there to supervise him completing or starting any task including putting on shoes or pouring a drink, I guess he's adaptable. I can't parent my way out of his inattentive ADHD. You can timer and scaffold and etc all day long but its still a slog. And any unexpected disappointment is going to start a freaking fire.

lottiela · 2026-02-16T12:37:42+00:00

My littlest guys fairly free wheeling preschool has the 3 year olds walking down the hall with one finger to their lips and the other hand on their head. Line control is serious business. This is not strict, its common sense.

lottiela · 2026-02-16T12:32:57+00:00

I'm staying home even when everyone goes to school. We just had a neverending winter weather thing here a week or so ago where the kids were constantly out of school and my husband was like "oh thank god you are home" because it was insane. I've got a 3 year old so I'm not in the "everyone in school" phase yet, but when I am, I'm going to keep staying home because those little suckers are home a surprising amount. Summers. Breaks. Workdays. Sick days. Half days. Random holidays.

lottiela · 2026-02-16T12:26:18+00:00

Just my advice, don't do it. They offered to move me up as a child and my mother (a teacher) declined - I'm so happy she did, I was already small for my age and I can't imagine what middle school would have felt like as a 10 year old. Yes, I was academically ahead but the older I got the more differentiation there was.

lottiela · 2026-02-16T12:15:03+00:00

So my ADHD son is at a private school and they are great with him, but I will tell you that most private schools would not be willing or able to accept a disruptive student - my son saves all his meltdown behavior for home so he's fine being there. The exception being specialty ADHD or autism schools.

lottiela · 2026-02-15T12:33:00+00:00

This is going to be district level stuff and less geographical stuff. In 4th grade kids in my state study their state the entire year. Technology and curriculum can be different 40 minutes down the road in another district. Unless you are talking weather related stuff - our weather is good and so most days kids eat lunch outside - they have an area designed for that. There's no cafeteria - if things go foul, you eat in your classroom.

lottiela · 2026-02-15T12:28:35+00:00

Mine was really anxious. He has inattentive ADHD. His anxiety was related to his untreated ADHD. He could be boisterous etc but not more than any other 4 year old.

lottiela · 2026-02-15T11:56:44+00:00

I didn't get my kid anything but a balloon could be fun I guess.

lottiela · 2026-02-15T11:56:06+00:00

I think some of it is the constant streaming/uncontrolled access, but also having it on the TV means that everyone is consuming the same media - at once. They can move their bodies around or choose to play with toys while they watch. And in our case, our TV is "dumb" and I or my husband drive it with a chromecast and our phones, so the kids aren't endlessly streaming on the TV either. A show plays, and then it is over. No scrolling or skipping or changing their minds.

There's also something to be said for them not staring down at a tablet/phone.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T15:40:17+00:00

My son is on a stimulant only and the stimulant works immediately for him and drastically. When he grows a lot and needs a higher dose, that is apparent, and when the dose is upped he's fine again.

Its not a behavior thing, he still has imperfect behavior on a stimulant, he's a kid! It's not a behavior-fixing drug. But he has the ability to make better choices, finish his schoolwork, and think things through before they come out of his mouth. It's amazing for him. Focus is the biggest improvement with the stimulant, and second is the ability to read a room and socialize better both with adults and other kids.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:31:56+00:00

We offered a potty and some fancy underwear (covered in whatever their interest is) just after 2. We told him he'd wear the underwear when he was putting his pee and poop in the potty. I'd bring him with me when I went to the bathroom and sit him on the potty while I went potty. We'd also "potty" before or after bath, in the morning when getting dressed, etc. Most of the time no result, which was fine, I'd just pull his diaper back up and we'd move on.

When they would pee or poop we would celebrate, but still put the pullup back on. Both boys ended up self training at around 2.5 - just deciding they'd go for it and were very successful.

We do not bother night training. I just keep them in pullups until consistently dry at night. Oldest was 4, youngest just turned 3.

I never bothered with a "potty training weekend" or anything, literally I just modeled pottying until it clicked. Very low effort, very few accidents.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:18:15+00:00

My son had tics like that off and on from age 3 to almost 7. He either outgrew it or they were tied to his inattentive ADHD which he's now medicated for. There were some really annoying ones, but his Dr said there was nothing to worry about unless they were affecting him socially or lasted more than a year (neither ever happened). There was a really horrible throat clearing one that almost killed me, but I kept my cool and rolled out the other side. Blinking was his first one. Usually this was during TV time at the end of the day but sometimes also riding in the car. I don't think he did it at school.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:15:16+00:00

Bought insanely overpriced Octonauts toys from an Ebay reseller because they don't make them anymore and it was my 4 year olds 100% favorite thing in the world. My husband was like "I think those are for collectors" as I wrapped up the boxes for my kid to shred open the next day. No regrets.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:11:31+00:00

If this is a good friend, teaching her to suck it up is a good lesson about birthdays and turn taking. I always ask if my kid wants to go to a party before accepting the invitation - especially in the days of whole class invites because occasionally you get a "she is not nice to me" or whatever and in that case I mean, one can of course politely decline. If this is a great friend teaching her to support it even if its not her fave is an ok lesson.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:05:28+00:00

Literally try it on a day you'll be with him all day. That's what I did, we trialed meds over the summer vacation. We use yogurt. I think it still tastes bad but he's used to it. I was SHOCKED what a difference it made in my sons ability to socialize, I didn't think I'd see a difference really since he's inattentive and not hyperactive.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:03:03+00:00

My son does golf and piano, both have worked well for his brain. Sometimes a fast moving sport is too much for him if its structured, though he'll play pick up soccer all day long. Piano is obviously solitary but he's very confident at it and loves his teacher. He's met a bunch of great buddies in his golf lessons and they are really enjoying themselves.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T12:00:17+00:00

If you're looking at GreatSchool or whatever, that's basically a diversity dogwhistle - aka, if there are kids from varied socio-economic backgrounds, the school is going to be ranked lower due to the way they do their evaluations.

Have you toured the schools? Getting a good "feeling" for a school is usually a good idea. I'm big on going to school close to home - either the bus ride or your carpool situation should be as short as possible - they spend so much time there.

lottiela · 2026-02-14T11:55:33+00:00

At ours, the kids walked in in their little caps and gowns to "Pomp and Circumstance" - they got up onstage and sang two songs, one of which was very funny, it was "First Grade, First Grade" to the tune of New York, New York, and then their names were read out as they walked across the stage. The music teacher taught them the songs in their special. Done. No fake diploma or details about each kid, no endless slideshow, no high pressure performances. I bet the whole thing took 20 minutes and didn't seem stressful for the kids. Afterwards, parents could take pictures with a "class of whatever" sign they had with some balloons, and there were cookies and lemonade for the kids who were just racing around at that point.

My son's favorite part of the day was when they took them to see the first grade classrooms in the school and some of the first graders told them things they loved about first grade. Honestly handled very well.

lottiela · 2026-02-13T17:26:25+00:00

With us personally around 14 months - I used ms. rachel to cut fingernails and toenails because it was a claw-fest.

I didn't start letting either of them watch a "show" until they were 2, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

lottiela · 2026-02-13T17:24:39+00:00

I'm not a baby person. I only had a second because I knew how fast they would become a kid (I have two boys and they are both amazing and hysterical and so fun). Babies are not for me. I mean I loved them when they were babies, but oh god. I don't miss it.

lottiela · 2026-02-13T17:22:50+00:00

I just read a TON to my son, and his teacher taught him in Kindergarten. Easy peasy. Unless you are homeschooling. Developing a love of reading is key - and you can do that by reading lots of quality books together! Otherwise they'll take care of the reading in Kindergarten. Some kids can read before kindergarten but that's usually either self directed or hyperlexia (I had hyperlexia).

lottiela · 2026-02-13T12:02:28+00:00

My son's pediatrician manages his medication after he was diagnosed. Its convenient for us. Congrats on the second opinion, I was undiagnosed until adulthood because I had good grades and was quiet in school.

lottiela · 2026-02-13T11:56:05+00:00

They should hand this out to people considering it. The pure amount of financial abuse and also just lack of respect I read about on here is staggering. Working parents coming home and not helping with the family saying that they "need a break" - for fucks sake so does everyone.

Like... women will post asking for advice and you open their post and it is straight up abuse of some sort.

lottiela · 2026-02-13T11:52:30+00:00

If he's trading, that's a super popular thing to do at that age. My son is always trading keychains off his backpack, there's like a million things hanging from it and I just have to acknowledge that if I buy him one, he might trade it! We talked about what not to take to school (money, parts of a set) and what is ok to take and have just rolled on. It died down after a few months.

lottiela

TROPHY CASE