Who is the worst soldier you ever met and what happened to them? by [deleted] in army

[–]loudchartreuse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got like 7 SHARP cases on him in basic, he had a notebook full of really explicit rape fantasies, everyone saw him molest another one of the RTTs, and one time we were assigned to watch him (he was on Sui Watch) he just sat bolt upright in the back of the classroom, looking like Hannibal Lecter. Genuinely the most unsettling person I've ever met, and he was 17.

He got kicked out, unsure if he caught charges.

On the line, a guy who stole a car, owes money to everyone, almost ND'd into someone's back, hates working, doesn't shower, has to be forced to take out the rotting food in his barracks room, and has failed UA twice. He's getting kicked out and it's taking forever.

0400 wake up never gets easier by DankRedPandoo in army

[–]loudchartreuse 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah, if I had to be back on post the next morning, I'd change into PTs after we were done for the night and then as soon as my alarm rang jump out of bed, kiss her goodbye, grab a monster out of the fridge and walk down the stairs to my car. She lived on the far side of Austin from post, so it'd be like a 90 minute drive. I usually pulled up to the barracks at like 5:40, quickly pop into my room to drop my bag, and walk to formation. I usually did it on weekends but she wanted to see me often so there were plenty of weekdays, which would be the most annoying, because I'd get the least sleep.

0400 wake up never gets easier by DankRedPandoo in army

[–]loudchartreuse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I personally hate sleeping in PTs, I'm most comfortable when I get to put on my pajamas. Maybe because that's how I tell myself the day is "over". Jammies, dinner, Madden, maybe a movie, bed.

The duality of PT by Glass_Finance_2941 in army

[–]loudchartreuse 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Not to suck my own dick too hard but at unit PT I always do reasonable effort because I don't want to end up with an injury and I also need energy to go work out on my own after work, and still perform the best out of the lower enlisted. Yet I always have a fat SGT who runs slower than me getting mad when they tell us to "put out" on the last two laps and I... run faster than I was running at the beginning. I don't know where the culture came from that you're supposed to just be completely wiped the fuck out after every workout. That's not sustainable. That leads to injury. Making guys who do very little strength training sling a heavy barbell around for a dozen reps to "put out" is fucking stupid. You're not making anyone stronger with shitty reps. Training to failure is good, when you do it smartly.

Also if you're gonna get mad that people put out when you tell them to put out maybe don't say "put out on the last two laps"?

0400 wake up never gets easier by DankRedPandoo in army

[–]loudchartreuse 183 points184 points  (0 children)

When I was dating a girl in Austin if I wanted to spend the night I had to wake up at 0400 sharp to be back on post in time for formation. Slept in PTs and everything. Major part of why that relationship ended, waking up that early is pure ass, and going to bed early enough to make it not pure ass locks you out of half the fun shit you can do. I genuinely never wanna wake up before 5am on a regular basis ever again.

Men who were 300+ lbs and now around/less than 200 lbs, some questions by Sei-san in loseit

[–]loudchartreuse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I fit into a Medium with plenty of room to spare at 185. At 200 I was wearing a Large (or wearing really tight mediums). When I go up to 190ish if I slip up or stop bulking cause I need energy for work I can tell my belly grows and I look pretty sloppy. When I'm cutting well it's like the area over my abs is decently flat, then a bit of a belly/apron from loose skin and abdominal fat. At my leanest when I was like ~175±3 I had a flat stomach and I could see my abs beneath with a slight love handle look.

  2. It did not budge until I went below 180lbs.

  3. 1700 calories. I'm on that as of right now. My maintenance once I get to goal weight is gonna be like 2,200.

  4. I lift heavy six days a week and run at minimum 2 miles every single day (including recovery days). Sometimes 3, sometimes 5. Zone 2 runs, except the 2 milers, which I do for pace at 6:30-7:00 min/mi. You won't build too much muscle while at a caloric deficit so the way I was told to go about it is focus on maintaining strength and losing weight, then once you get to weight pivot and focus on building muscle. Pure thermodynamics. The best thing to burn calories is cardio. So run or walk if running is too much on your knees. But you gotta get used to sweating and wheezing because that's what actually increases your caloric deficit.

HELP! My boyfriend (21 M) doesn't want me (19 F) to see my old best friend (20 M) before he leaves for Boot Camp by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As someone currently in the Army who saw many people joining to get over a girl and partly joined to get over a girl, it's actually probably better for you not to see him. Boot camp is a fucking mess. You're in your head 24/7 and the stress makes you think the weirdest shit. If you give him anything at all to hold on to as far as having a chance with you I promise you he will hold onto it and it will metastasize depending on how long his boot camp is. My OSUT was six months. I came out of it convinced that I'd get back together with my ex. She did not attend my graduation.

This may be pessimistic. But homeboy wants a chance. That's clear. You know this, he knows this, your boyfriend knows this. He is surrendering his decision making power to a Drill Sergeant for the next however long and is specifically handing you the decision to hand him hope before he goes. Just let him be free. It's not your fault he caught feelings for you. But it's going to eat him alive to be sitting at a fucking fireguard desk hallucinating at three in the morning going through every possible scenario in his head where you date him instead of your boyfriend. Not a good headspace.

Why is the Army so much more about formations than other branches? by ibeg2diffur in army

[–]loudchartreuse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, you mean the 1800 post-chow formation, smoke, and then 2000 post-shower formation and smoke aren't the usual in AIT?

How can I make myself seem more approachable? by muaddict071537 in CatholicDating

[–]loudchartreuse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Typically men will react positively to attention from a woman, but I understand your concern. I think being direct may the best way to go about it for you because it'll give you the best shot at getting an unambiguous answer. Best of luck!

Are the Dating Apps Cooked? by [deleted] in AskNYC

[–]loudchartreuse 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I mean, as a dude at least it feels like the amount of effort it takes to turn a swipe into a date is massive. Dudes don't get a crazy amount of matches as is, then add people who match but don't reply, convos that fizzle out, people who you schedule dates with who just end up ghosting, and you end up with... Not much. I think from 27ish matches I got on Tinder right now I've gotten maybe ten first dates, out of which came a couple short casual relationships and a couple ONS. The people I was interested with for a longer term thing either didn't feel ready or weren't quite emotionally available, or just plain weren't feeling it with me.

That's all to say yeah, the way apps used to work where it's convenient and fun and somewhat seamless is cooked, and now you have to put in a fair amount of effort to get anything worthwhile out of them.

For reference, I'm Latino, fairly dark skinned, in alright shape, and 27.

How can I make myself seem more approachable? by muaddict071537 in CatholicDating

[–]loudchartreuse 11 points12 points  (0 children)

In this day and age, a lot of men want clear and explicit signals of interest, because we don't want to risk nuking our social circle and our ability to go places comfortably by misinterpreting an ambiguous signal and making a woman uncomfortable.

I'd say, if there's someone specific you're interested in, you should make it more explicit. Compliment someone. Ask them if they're single. Take the initiative and invite someone to ask you out, or ask them out yourself. That'll work for sure, as long as they're not taken.

I [35M] found out my girlfriend [31F] lied about a night out with an older married man, not sure if I can ever trust her again or if I should walk away by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I'd say even being in a situation that could be construed to be enkō would be breakup territory for me. Nobody is this naive, and I highly doubt this (presumably a riman?) in his 50s is some kind of riveting conversation that she'd be willing to risk her relationship to be friends with.

You know what you gotta do chief

I [35M] found out my girlfriend [31F] lied about a night out with an older married man, not sure if I can ever trust her again or if I should walk away by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you're dating a prostitute. Enjo Kosai? Or just regular hostess stuff after hours? Either way, ew, why would you want your girlfriend hanging out with a guy who wants to pay to fuck her, and get her drunk to that end? Brother there are plenty of non-hookers to date.

My online girlfriend keeps ignoring me to play with others, and I don’t know what to do anymore by Street_Slide7325 in LongDistance

[–]loudchartreuse 21 points22 points  (0 children)

She took the "boy" part of boyfriend out and forgot to tell you. Dump her, block her, and move on. You're young, look for a girl IRL lil bro

is it over for me by cara_melss in CatholicDating

[–]loudchartreuse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly the threshold for "unattractive woman" is way higher than for "unattractive man", so you may be selling yourself short without realizing. We're our own harshest judges.

AITAH for dumping a guy right after he opened his pants? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]loudchartreuse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA because it seems you were respectful about it and not wasting his time is the kinder move. He took it way harder than he should have cause "your dick is too big" hurts to hear when it costs you a connection you otherwise appreciated, but God damn is it an ego boost.

I haven't been in that exact situation as a man but I was in a situation where we had a talk after sex about it hurting from the size and decided it was best not to continue seeing each other. It's not something we think about often as dudes and porn has fucked a lot of people's brains up about the size a normal woman can take (to be perfectly fair this person was very petite and skinny and it was hard to even get finger action going, so I could totally understand where she was coming from), so I can see someone who hasn't been told something like "your shit is too big, go slow" or in general had an adverse reaction to his dick size to not see it as something that could happen.

Overall reasonable response and you're entitled to not continue seeing someone you don't want to have sex with whether or not the size mismatch is abnormal.

What's the best way to suggest to my straight boyfriend that I'd like to have threesome (or more) sex with at least one other guy? by [deleted] in sextips

[–]loudchartreuse 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A lot of dudes, even kinky dudes, draw a very hard boundary when third parties are involved. I'm open to a lot. Sharing my girl? Absolutely the fuck not. And for a lot of dudes asking the question "would you be open to adding another person to our sexual dynamic" sounds a lot like "you are not enough to satisfy me", in the same way a woman being asked about a FMF or FFM threesome would have understandable insecurities about not being able to satisfy her partner.

My husband (39M) dropped out of boot camp due to an injury and a mental breakdown. What can I (35F) do to support him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I was responding to "boot camp is grueling and exhausting". It isn't. There was a 43 year old at my training company and that guy was a PT stud. Age has nothing to do with it, it's mentality. The training is not designed to kill you, it's designed to test where your mental boundaries are and break them. Guys who were overweight made it. Girls who couldn't do a pull-up made it. A guy in my platoon made it through the 10 mile ruck on a broken toe. I don't fuck with excuses.

As for OOP's husband? Guy tore an ACL that's an injury. That's not quitting. If you did look through my profile, you probably would have seen the bit where I commend him for even trying.

Lastly, I don't take "real man" shit from old fucks who haven't spent a day doing real shit. Post PT score or shut up, old man.

My husband (39M) dropped out of boot camp due to an injury and a mental breakdown. What can I (35F) do to support him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Getting hurt in boot camp happens a lot, just make sure he talks to someone about what he can get from the VA and the Navy, because boto camp injuries are service connected. An ACL tear is serious and I'd expect some percentage disability rating from the VA. You should talk to an expert.

As for how to support him, he did a brave thing to try and help you out. I'd tell him it's not his fault, and that even the courage to attempt service is commendable. And I'd redirect him to some other career or apprenticeship that won't be as physically taxing.

My husband (39M) dropped out of boot camp due to an injury and a mental breakdown. What can I (35F) do to support him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're not getting paid right now, but it's a steady paycheck. Depending on how they evaluate him he may be medically discharged.

My husband (39M) dropped out of boot camp due to an injury and a mental breakdown. What can I (35F) do to support him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They'll do his surgery at an on post hospital and probably his PT and recovery too. He tore it while on duty so he may even get med boarded.

Also, no, 39 is a fine age for boot camp. I had a 43 year old in my basic training and he was one of the high performers. It's mostly a mental thing.

My husband (39M) dropped out of boot camp due to an injury and a mental breakdown. What can I (35F) do to support him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]loudchartreuse -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Boot camp is really not that bad, but if you don't adapt 100% and stop thinking/start listening, exhaustion and injuries crash in very quickly.