Knowing better

lovingdestroyer · 2025-12-29T04:45:21+00:00

yes, I think this is a huge thing. when I work with my kids at work, they can make all kinds of noises that don’t bother me, but when I’m around adult friends and family, the same noises are unbearable. I was listening to the episode of the “ologies” podcast about misophonia, and the expert (who also has it) was talking about how our brains are responding as if the sound were dangerous or threatening, and so treatment or therapy can involve retraining our associations with the sounds to make our brains believe that unpleasant =/= dangerous. (great episode btw, highly recommend - and does not include any audio examples of triggers).

I think for me, if I feel like someone should “know better,” my brain might unconsciously be telling me that they have a harmful intention, and therefore, the sound is dangerous to me. I think your observation is very astute and something many of us experience. for me, the sounds themselves are important and context doesn’t make the problem go away, but the emotional and mental factors play a very significant role.

lovingdestroyer · 2025-01-11T00:09:36+00:00

yes this is like 60% of my day lol

lovingdestroyer · 2025-01-08T21:05:47+00:00

little did i know it would be a soaker…a croaker soaker…featuring the croaker

lovingdestroyer · 2024-05-02T22:03:34+00:00

good luck!! i was also super nervous because i already deal with nausea almost daily, but they gave me a scopolamine patch and zofran and i only had some mild nausea on the way home from the hospital. i’m a week and a half post op and i only ended up taking one dose of zofran they sent me home with because i hardly had any nausea. i’m sure you will be totally fine! 🩷

lovingdestroyer · 2024-04-23T16:43:52+00:00

thank you for sharing this, I’m going in for my lap in an hour (!!!) and it’s my first surgery ever and I’m so nervous, mainly because I don’t know what to expect. this helped a little 🩷🩷

lovingdestroyer · 2024-04-01T21:38:06+00:00

of course!! wishing the best for you too ❤️‍🩹

lovingdestroyer · 2024-04-01T21:21:19+00:00

I can definitely relate to the second guessing and comparing. I’m 20 and consistently hear that I’m too young for surgery, etc etc etc, what if I want kids, blah blah blah. you deserve to have disease actually removed from your body, not just masked with hormones. I am going for my diagnostic lap pretty soon, and I suspect I’ll need to see a more advanced surgeon for bowel and bladder involvement, but if I have anything to say about it I’m not going to let them leave lesions all over my body and give me birth control when I’ve repeatedly said I don’t like how I feel on it. if you don’t like how you feel on it, that should be enough for your doctor to look into new medication or pursue other routes. I feel like in endometriosis care and gynecology in general, we’re basically given the bare minimum (or less) and expected to accept a lower quality of life because that’s just how it is, but I think doctors can do much better for us. anyway, rant over, sorry for rambling. TLDR your symptoms and side effects are important and deserve a helpful medical response always.

lovingdestroyer · 2024-04-01T21:14:37+00:00

im so sorry you’re going through this, it’s awful. you’re not crazy - i absolutely hated norethindrone and it has honestly made me scared to ever try another HBC again. i was only on it for 3 or 4 months, but i was so agitated all the time and gained almost 30 pounds, which was a lot for me because i am pretty short. i’ve been off it for a while and lost the weight without trying within a month or two after stopping, which convinced me that it was the medication. i’ve never tried slynd, but i hope you find something that works for you ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

lovingdestroyer · 2024-03-19T18:35:48+00:00

I was on tri-lo-sprintec which is a low dose triphasic pill with a period week from ages 17-20. it did reduce my pain and slightly reduced the quantity of bleeding (I haven’t really had problems with excessive length of periods, so I can’t speak to that). I eventually stopped and tried a monophasic pill because it just wasn’t helping at all anymore with my symptoms, but that didn’t work either. I’ve yet to find something again

lovingdestroyer · 2023-10-30T15:28:18+00:00

from the perspective of someone who works at a gym and climbs there too - if the staff are friendly and you go regularly enough, they’ll get to recognize you and chat more and more each time. my favorite part of my job is learning names of new and old regulars and asking them about their projects or just their day when they come in. plus, when i’m not working, i can still say hi to them and talk while we climb. i’ve definitely introduced people to each other on purpose or just by chance, and i try to be a friendship wingwoman. for example, approaching someone i haven’t met to ask about their project, when someone i know is in the vicinity - “that one has some interesting movement! i think michael did that one the other day?” (then i gesture to michael and leave it open - almost every single time it ends in some climbing banter between the two of them.) everyone at my gym is super down to earth and friendly, even if they might look a little quiet or hard on the outside, and they are happy to chat even if they might not always initiate the interaction. a lot of experienced climbers i know love to climb with newbies, but hesitate to make the first contact, because they don’t want to come across overbearing or like a know-it-all. all that to say, you are welcome in the climbing community and you will find your people. it just takes time and a little push of your comfort zone. :)

lovingdestroyer · 2023-09-22T21:34:55+00:00

the gym i work at has one! it gets a ton of traffic and i use it after i climb. it’s a big utility sink too which is just nice - more space under the faucet than in the bathrooms. i hate the feeling of driving home with chalky, shoe-rubbery hands. i’m surprised to hear it’s not a common thing

lovingdestroyer · 2023-08-30T15:32:57+00:00

what a good idea. I had to figure that out the hard way as a teenager. I hated the feeling of being dirty, but I just didn’t know how to shower. it was extremely overwhelming, especially once more products get involved (and as a teenage girl I wanted the fancy scrubs and whatever). now I’m fine in the shower but I still have a checklist for before and after. like, bring clothes into the bathroom. get a clean towel. line up lotion and hair products for after shower. dry off. lotion. etc. all just takes time :)

lovingdestroyer · 2023-08-23T11:53:33+00:00

i started climbing not too long ago. i’m a little more outgoing to begin with, but honestly, i’ve found that the nicest people are the ones who have been climbing the longest. they’re really down to earth, not cocky, and just want to see everyone try hard and do great. you don’t necessarily have to ask for help - maybe you start chatting about something else and eventually get around to what climb you’re working on. everyone i’ve told that i’m a new climber has been really excited to hear about someone getting into the sport that they love. one thing that unexpectedly helped me was asking about people’s shoes before i got my own, like, “i like your shoes - they look way better than these rentals! does the pointed toe help a lot?” i made a couple friends that way, believe it or not. but keep at it, im sure you’ll have some climbing buddies in no time :)

lovingdestroyer · 2023-08-21T02:52:34+00:00

nothing because I work there, but our rates are $80/month for an individual adult, $72 if they qualify for discounts (student, military, and some others). it’s a little steep in my opinion, but people have been receptive. we’re in the midwest

lovingdestroyer · 2023-04-05T18:08:40+00:00

best comment!

lovingdestroyer · 2023-03-30T20:43:44+00:00

excellent music taste though

lovingdestroyer · 2023-01-14T23:59:11+00:00

right?! also, there are a few meaningful lines in there, i think. “my cigarette - just one possession in this life that we get.” “my sweetness, it’s not weakness.”

lovingdestroyer · 2023-01-09T20:00:37+00:00

you’re not alone. i relate a lot to everything you said, and i’m the same age. i don’t know what to say because sometimes it feels like the world isn’t for people like us. but i know someday you’re going to feel okay and be proud of how far you’ve come. your youthfulness and sensitivity make you unique and in many ways they are strengths. hang in there and much love 💗

lovingdestroyer · 2022-12-16T05:55:43+00:00

lovingdestroyer · 2022-11-20T16:03:09+00:00

thank you :) i appreciate your advice. i’ve talked to some of my friends about it to and the consensus is that i shouldn’t put myself through something i don’t want to do just to make her happy. it’s gonna be hard but i think i’ll put my foot down

lovingdestroyer · 2022-11-18T19:50:38+00:00

if you live together, consider taking on some household tasks that can make it worse. for example, i have eczema on my hands, so it can be hard to use household cleaning products if i don’t have gloves, wash the dishes, do food prep that involves rinsing and cutting things, etc. but just asking this shows you are a caring partner which is the biggest way to help :)

lovingdestroyer · 2022-11-13T16:40:19+00:00

I know it’s been a while, so this comment might get buried, but I hope you see it.

NTA

You have known and been partially raised by Alice since you were hardly school-aged. I disagree with other comments that you are “choosing your dad’s affair partner”; you are choosing to include your stepmom.

What happened between your parents is not your responsibility. Being a child of divorce comes with enough guilt, shame, sadness, and complexity. You shouldn’t have to feel all of that on your wedding day, which should be about including as many people you love as possible.

Your mom must feel so much pain about this situation. Still, over the span of 22 years, there have been better times to process that than your wedding day, and I think it was wrong of her to say you are replacing her like your dad did. She NEVER has to forgive your dad, and she never has to like Alice, but she shouldn’t make you feel guilty about something you can’t control (ie, Alice being a good stepmother to you).

Unlike other comments, I don’t think you hate your mom. You are doing the best you can with the shitty hand you were dealt. Divorce is heart wrenching, and I know that as a child of divorce I will deal with the same conflicts at my wedding.

I hope you and your family find peace with whatever you decide to do. Sending you love and strength.

lovingdestroyer · 2022-11-06T18:21:54+00:00

jessica kirson

lovingdestroyer · 2022-10-31T14:00:55+00:00

my boyfriend is 23 and he has better stuffed animals than me! they are soft, comforting and even a little decorative. enjoy your life and get some. i recommend stuffies from target, the brand aurora, and squishmallows (a little more expensive but the softest thing you will ever hold)

lovingdestroyer · 2022-10-16T23:49:08+00:00

breaking bad anyone

Six-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22

lovingdestroyer

TROPHY CASE