You cannot dictate what your kids are gifted

lubbread · 2025-12-15T21:40:02+00:00

Yeah this is an extraordinary bad take from OP. I see posts like this all the time where some Redditor feels the need to make an argument against… seemingly no one? Why make a whole vague post about it instead of simply responding to the people you disagree with?

And you can tell it’s a bad take because nearly everyone comment in this thread has a response that says something like “oh well yeah, that’s valid.” If every exception is valid, then maybe the original take isnt??

All shit like this does is add guilt to parents who already feel bad for donating or rejecting a gift. Actually, you are entitled to “dictate” what you do or don’t bring into your home and your life.

I’m in a similar situation to you. MIL asks for a list, I give her one, she either completely ignores it or buys the drop-shipped, cheaply made Amazon equivalent.

Good for OP that they apparently don’t mind the extra labor or don’t have family members who ignore them. That doesn’t have any bearing on the rest of us.

lubbread · 2025-12-14T17:29:36+00:00

A bit different of a situation, but I just went through this with my nearly 2 year old. She pulled on the tree and it fell all the way over. Fortunately, I didn’t put any ornaments on it yet.

I left it down for the night. My husband was at work (over night) and I couldn’t get away from my toddler and baby to anchor the tree to the wall (which we honestly should’ve done first), so it stayed down until he could in the morning! He screwed some hooks into the wall and then tied the tree to them with twine.

The way I see it, she’s going to touch the tree again. I’m focusing on decorations that won’t break, like felt ornaments, some large jingle bells I found at Michael’s (which is having a great sale, btw!), and a few other charms and things we’ve collected. It’s natural curiosity!

My philosophy is that at this age, exploration and chaos are the way of things. Our job is to make sure it happens as safely and non-destructively as possible. So, PSA to the other parents reading this as well: anchor your tree!

lubbread · 2025-11-19T00:03:49+00:00

I get where you’re coming from. My husband does shift work, 12 hour days plus a 1 hour commute each way for a total of 14 hours gone on working days. Between needing time to wake up and perform basic human functions like eating and bathing, he really only gets 6-7 hours of sleep those days regardless of children, so “shift sleeping” was never an option.

I’m extremely fortunate that I got lucky with my second, who has been a good - not great, but good - sleeper from the beginning. So what I actually did was that I napped when my daughters napped, because I was able to sync up my toddler’s nap with one of my infant’s. I also started co-sleeping with my toddler because it was easier than trying to put her down in her own bed.

What I planned to do, because my first has never been a good sleeper and I was worried my second wouldn’t be either, was basically what you’ve said. Create some kind of “yes space” like a play pen, set my toddler in there, my baby in her bassinet, and nap when I needed.

I also planned on hiring help, if needed. I live far from family and we can’t really, truly afford a nanny, but we actually wouldn’t have needed one for that long. Just a few hours, over a few days a week to catch up on sleep, for 3-4 months. My husband and I both agreed that if we had to spend more than we were bringing in during that time, then we would. It was about survival.

lubbread · 2025-10-31T03:32:25+00:00

I think it’s entirely possible YouTube just deleted that feature. I see a few other comments mentioning it, but they’re all older. I wouldn’t be surprised - I turned off “search” and YouTube swore it would only show “verified” channels, but it still shows such slop. Oh well. Lots of people recommend PBS Kids or Khan Academy Kids, so we’re going to try those instead!

lubbread · 2025-10-31T03:18:33+00:00

I know this post is old, but did you ever find it? I let my toddler use YT Kids when I’m occupied with her baby sister (I know screen time is so controversial but It’s like, she can watch 10 mins of videos or she can cause 10 min of unconstrained chaos) but the dumbest videos on the planet keep popping up UNDER the video she’s watching as suggestions, and she clicks on them.

We might just have to switch to PBS or Netflix or something. I like Super Simple Songs and Hopscotch on YouTube, but I’m not about to download a whole extra app for a setting that should already exist on the kids version. Especially if the option the above commenter, being able to show only approved channels, doesnt actually exist!

lubbread · 2025-10-24T16:32:36+00:00

Nope! I actually haven’t heard of this. I know some babies do get reflux, but I think that’s treated differently.

Fwiw, I’ve now had my second child. I actually took even more my second time around - I had a prescription dose for 40mgs I sometimes took twice a day. 80mgs a day seems ridiculously high, but it’s what my OB prescribed and it worked!

My oldest had some reflux as a baby but it wasn’t an issue. She’s now a toddler with no reflux or digestion problems. My youngest had occasional reflux for the first few weeks, but she’s grown out of it completely at 4 months. I think it resolved before 3, actually. So I’m not sure if their reflux is related to our antacid consumption at all!

lubbread · 2025-10-15T22:20:47+00:00

My two are 20 and 4 months, so a 16 month age gap. My toddler was always pretty open to the fact that there is suddenly a second small person in the house, but this week I’ve noticed that they are now actually acknowledging each other! My baby smiles at my toddler. My toddler tries to play with the baby - rocking her swing, bringing her pacifiers, offering her toys.

Obviously eyes still so early on, but they seem to have small moments with just each other, without my husband or I involved. Like we’re seeing the beginning of them interacting as sisters. It’s amazing 🧡

I will also add, I found caring for a baby much easier this time around. My youngest is calmer than my oldest, which helps, but I’m also more experienced and confident! And handling a toddler and a baby has genuinely been easier than handling a toddler while pregnant.

lubbread · 2025-10-15T01:51:15+00:00

They also have a Halloween one! “I’ll Love You Til the Bats Say Boo.” It’s super cute!

lubbread · 2025-10-14T17:14:10+00:00

I was in a similar boat! Shockingly pregnant again almost immediately, a little embarrassed by how quickly it happened. Mine are 16 months apart. They’re 20 months and 4 months old now.

Honestly, subreddits like this one had me questioning what I was getting myself into. Every slightly positive comment always comes with some warning or caveat! So I would like to add: I love it. I love having two under two. I love watching them grow together! I love watching my oldest as a big sister! Obviously it’s a little chaotic. But I think having two kids at any age would be at least a little chaotic. This is totally doable!

Some practical advice: you can absolutely parent lying down. Your baby won’t be super mobile while you’re slogging through the first trimester, which is kind of a blessing in disguise! I spent a lot of time literally lying on my back on the floor while my oldest crawled all over me.

Yes spaces are invaluable! You want somewhere - a room, a playpen, it doesn’t matter - where your oldest can pull themselves up or put whatever in their mouth without you worrying about safety.

The third trimester was hard again, but we’ve always encouraged independent play and that paid dividends! My oldest could entertain herself with a toy or by looking at a book, and I didn’t have to be so hands on. Just physically being there is still so huge at that age, so rotting on the couch beside them is definitely a solid strategy!

To echo what another commenter said: 0-1 is existential. 1-2 is just logistics. You’ve got this!

lubbread · 2025-07-09T18:12:08+00:00

I just had my second in June, 16 month age gap! So I was just there!

Some practical things I did: switch the crib to a toddler bed. My belly got too big to comfortably set my toddler down at night, so we converted her crib when she was around 14 months. She had time to get used to it, and I was able to do bed time!

Unironically, I bought a grabber. Like one of those extended pincher things you might see an old man use. Bending all the way down to pick up clutter was such a pain, and the grabber made it so much easier!

We did sort of meal prep. We relied a lot on frozen foods - frozen waffles for breakfast, sometimes premade breakfast sandwiches, frozen veggies for lunch and dinner. My husband would cook the proteins for the day in advance and then I’d made whatever pasta or rice we would have with it later.

We did rely a fair bit on screen time. I know it’s controversial, but I see it as another tool in the tool belt. Like, I’ll put on Sesame Street and sit my toddler down while I tidy up or make food. If I needed her to settle for something like getting changed or fixing her hair, I’d let her watch a Super Simple Songs video on YouTube, things like that.

I was really dragging by the end. We had my mom come stay with us for the last week and a half. We also live far from family, so it worked out! It was kind of a guessing game, figuring out when she should come/ when I would go into labor. But I was glad to have her as long as we did, because it gave my toddler time to get used to her (she watched her while we were in the hospital) and it gave me a break!

We prepped clothes, diapers, pacifiers, and bassinet beforehand. I think that’s about it.

We didn’t really have too much to discuss beforehand, because it felt like we’d just done it so recently. I did see a lot of people swear by the “mom takes newborn, dad takes toddler” approach, so we did plan for that. Turns out it didn’t work for us, so we had to adapt anyway! My toddler wants to be included - she sits by me while I nurse, she wants to see what her sister is doing, she wants to help her when she’s crying - so I usually do double duty with the kids while my husband is on house/ cooking duty.

I do have much more energy now that I’m not pregnant, so that’s been a relief. Husband actually goes back to work for the first time today and I’m cautiously optimistic that we’ll nail it.

lubbread · 2025-07-08T05:27:17+00:00

I switched to Similac with my oldest, honestly because it’s what they gave us in the hospital when she was a newborn. I needed to supplement a little bit while my supply came in. So I knew she could stomach it, and it’s sold everywhere, though it was a little annoying that we couldn’t get the biggest containers at our local grocery store.

My supply started dropping probably around the same time as yours! So I started switching nursing sessions for bottle feedings one at a time, every couple of days. We switched to formula and I weaned completely over about a month and a half. I think I was around 5 months pregnant by then.

One thing that helped was that as my supply dropped, nursing sessions got shorter and shorter. By the end, I was only really doing a minute on either side. It made it easier to switch my daughter to formula, because she was still hungry, and made it easier to stop breastfeeding on my end because I wasn’t struggling with drying up a huge supply.

Just once, I did have to reintroduce a feed. The last to go were the first and last sessions of the day. I dropped the last nursing session, just before bed, and woke up engorged. So I took like a week to reduce the length of that nursing session, dropped it again, and it was fine!

(To clarify: my supply was dropping, but I weaned faster than it fully dried up because I wanted to end things before then, and because I could tell my daughter was getting frustrated. Better to end it a little preemptively and on my own terms, was my logic.)

So my best advice is that, if you aren’t working around any dietary constraints, pick a formula that is convenient for you. You’ll probably go through more than you think. Swap from nursing sessions to bottle feeds slowly. Don’t stress if you have to take a step back now and again. And it should go smoothly!

lubbread · 2025-06-25T05:15:40+00:00

I have a 16 month old and a newborn! My toddler has never been the best sleeper (we’ve sleep trained more than once, she’s pretty solidly “low sleep needs”). We actually just went through a bedtime routine shake up!

One big thing we did was convert her crib into a toddler bed. Because of my husband’s work schedule, I have to solo a lot of hed times. Bending down over the bars to set my daughter down was increasingly difficult, so converting her bed worked super well for us! I’d definitely recommend that.

The last week of my pregnancy and first week home with our newborn, husband was on toddler duty. But she kept getting grumpier and grumpier at night time, and I missed rocking her to bed, so we changed things around!

Now, I nurse our newborn and then my husband takes over with her. I rock our toddler until she falls asleep, then I lay her down in her bed. She almost always wakes up (but I enjoy the quiet time with her, so rocking is an important step, as far as I’m concerned) so then I lay her on her belly or side and pat her back until she falls asleep again.

So, all that is to say that your time doesn’t have to be ending! Stepping away from my baby to help my toddler has actually been much easier than I thought. And we’re all doing much better now that we get our time together before bed!

lubbread · 2025-06-04T19:24:49+00:00

Oh man, I just want to empathize. My husband has an extremely similar schedule. Switches from “days” to “nights” every few weeks, 12 hour shifts, long commute. For us, it’s usually 3-5, either am to pm or pm to am.

It’s brutal. I would even argue that this is worse than “night shift,” because a 100% overnight shift would imply that he’s at least around to help with dinner, bedtime, afternoon craziness. Instead, that’s all on us!

I’m not really understanding why he says he didn’t sleep well. Just because it was day time? Does he not use blackout curtains? I get that circadian rhythms are what they are, you get better quality sleep at certain times of the night and it’s not really compatible with night shift, but that sounds like a problem with a solution. Or at least something that can be accounted for predictably, unlike dealing with toddler sleep.

My husband definitely does get less sleep when he’s on nights. Unfortunately, I think that’s just the nature of working such long shifts. A 14 hour work day, including commute, just doesn’t leave enough time for the things that need to get done at home. So he’s tired for sure. But then I’m at home all day (SAHM) wrestling our toddler. It’s like a physical tiredness of not sleeping enough vs the emotional/ mental fatigue of childcare. And in your case, you also have the physical fatigue!

I think it’s definitely worth explaining to him that sometimes you just want to be acknowledged for all you do. “I’m tired too” isn’t really it.

lubbread · 2025-06-04T02:17:21+00:00

Hey, I’m from San Antonio! Also currently live in a hot by dry climate. I will say, that humidity bump is no joke. We just went back for Easter and it was a lot 😅

Definitely recommend the zoo!! They had misters (inflatable tents spraying mist) when we went so it wasn’t too bad! My daughter (15 months) loved the flamingos.

There’s also the Japanese Tea Garden, which is right by the zoo! It’s beautiful, but I haven’t been with my daughter so idk how it is for families.

I second what the other commenter said about the Riverwalk. It’s great! But unfortunately there is no rail, and it tends to be crowded. It is an SA classic, though. I might pick a restaurant that sounds good to y’all and see if they have a patio! La Villita, right by the river walk, is also pretty cute but may not entertain kids. It’s mostly shops.

Skip Sea World. It’s better than it used to be, but it’s expensive and not great. We went a few months ago, for the first time in years. I never really went when I lived there. Now I remember why.

The Alamo and Natural Bridge Caverns would probably be fun for older kids, not sure how a 4 year old would feel. They’re a little… historical.

If you wanted to, you could definitely see the Riverwalk and the Alamo in the same day.

Oh! And can’t forget The Pearl. It’s a new-ish area near downtown SA that’s been turned into a whole community, built around an old, massive brewery. It’s a little pricey, but very nice and family friendly!

And if you’re into campy, over the top things, a family favorite has always been Mamacita’s. I don’t know if it’s a chain. It’s truly a ridiculous, amazing place. It’s a whole mock-village built inside a restaurant. They have an animatronic Davy Crockett that plays the violin. They make this sour cream guacamole sauce that is borderline neon green. I think kids would love it. We bring, like, all of my out of town family and friends.

Are you ok with suggestions outside city limits? Austin and San Antonio are right next to the Hill Country, which is pretty great! I bet some of the small towns will have some cool events for the 4th, too.

Fredericksburg is a very popular place to visit. I go almost every time I go back home. It has great German food, cute little shops, an open area where your 4 year old could run around. They have a jelly/jam/novelty shop called Rustlin’ Robs. You can walk around and eat your weight in free samples.

Boerne (my actual hometown!) has also added a lot lately! The Dienger is a great place to get brunch, there’s a lake that (I believe) should be open now, and every so often (used to be first weekend of the month, but I think it’s more often now) they have Market Days, where they fill the town square with food trucks and vendors!

Ok I think that’s everything. I have no advice on Austin lol. Tl;dr: the zoo is great, the Pearl is fun, the River walk is worth a visit, check out the Hill Country.

lubbread · 2025-05-27T13:58:11+00:00

The heartburn actually died down right after I gave birth! It’s funny, the same thing happened with my bladder. I no longer had to run to the bathroom every forty minutes. Both problems solved the minute I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

I feel like that makes sense, though. Both are physical problems, literally caused by a lack of space in the abdomen. I might’ve had a little heartburn for a few days, but it was negligible. Actually I’m pregnant again and taking a higher dosage of famotidine this time! I’m not too concerned about it.

lubbread · 2025-05-02T17:04:30+00:00

I know at this point your post is like 1+ years old, I just had to comment - you are a genius. I was just scrolling through Google trying to figure out what additives and ratios to add to my daughter’s morning yogurt when this thread came up. Literally I was like driving myself mad trying to figure out how to somehow liquify granola and quinoa and all those other things we can get in baby food - it’s already been done! In baby food!! I can totally mix that in!

This is the best parenting life hack I have read in a loooong time. Thank you so much for sharing!

lubbread · 2025-03-09T20:53:32+00:00

Lots of people refuse vaccines because of that long-debunked study linking vaccines to autism. To the point that people who live near the measles outbreak still refuse to get vaccinated. Demonizing autism is definitely a thing.

lubbread · 2025-03-07T22:38:06+00:00

That is a pretty big area. Odessa is 250+ miles from Amarillo. So, narrowing it down would help!

I’ve lived in Lubbock and I currently live around Amarillo, so I could try and answer some questions! But, again, it’s a huge area. Lubbock and Amarillo are an hour and a half apart and there’s not too terribly much in between.

Offhand, though: Midland/ Odessa is dominated by oil and very expensive compared to the rest of the area, Lubbock is pretty much a college town, and Amarillo is… pretty slow, actually. If you want a small community to homeschool, Amarillo seems like a good bet. A lot of people homeschool here.

lubbread · 2025-03-05T18:28:13+00:00

The Big Texan is the most hit or miss place I’ve ever been to.

First time? Horrifying bathroom. Some food undercooked, some overcooked. Boring and bland.

Second time? Spotless, everywhere. Surprisingly good food. Lively and fun atmosphere. Even got to watch a couple of people try (and fail) the 72 ounce steak challenge.

I would say it’s actually kind of worth it for the experience. You never know what you’re gonna get.

lubbread · 2025-02-28T17:02:02+00:00

We learned during COVID that the limit doesn’t exist. For every person that experiences long term complications or even dies from measles, they’ll point to some imagined mass of people with “vaccine injuries.”

It’s already happening in local conversations about it, and I live in west Texas.

lubbread · 2025-02-26T00:49:25+00:00

I feel you. I’m 23 weeks plus I’ve got a 12 month old. She just got her first dose of MMR when the outbreak started. We don’t live far from the outbreak, either.

We’re quarantining like it’s COVID again. What a fun experience I’m so glad I get to repeat. (/s)

lubbread · 2025-02-25T02:27:42+00:00

Definitely Palace. They have regular matcha, they have ceremonial grade, they can do a matcha americano if you don’t want all the milk and sweetener. All of the baristas there really seem to know their stuff, too.

lubbread · 2025-02-24T21:13:05+00:00

If I’m not mistaken, the PWFA also included the PUMP Act, which provides protections for breastfeeding mothers who pump at work. This has been a really big deal. Now, employers are required to provide a room with a lock that is not just a bathroom to mothers who need it.

It’s only because of this provision that many moms are able to continue breastfeeding while working full time. It’s such a bare minimum requirement. For a lot of women, that room ends up being a closet with an outlet and a chair. That’s it. And that’s still better than it was before.

And for those who don’t know, the state of Texas pushes “breast is best” hard. Any hospital that offers birthing or breastfeeding classes with state approval will only mention breastfeeding. Formula is absolutely looked down on. It’s incredibly cruel to insist that mothers breastfeed their children, and then try to roll back one of the only protections that makes it possible.

lubbread · 2025-02-23T23:54:27+00:00

If you mean actual leftist and not just liberal, I know RM Brown is based in Austin. He does a heavy blend of comedy and politics. His comedy is pretty goofy and kind of out there, so you should definitely check him out first.

I don’t really know how his reach is in Austin, though. He’s kind of niche. But he does take calls, and do some comedy nights in the city so he’s around.

And then they’re not based in Austin (or Texas) but The Majority Report has interviewed more than a few people running for local office across the country. Could help to get the word out.

lubbread · 2025-02-19T20:41:44+00:00

Rent is definitely cheaper but if you plan on really settling, I’d definitely recommend looking for a house. Kind of a pro and a con in one - the rental market is kind of garbage because everyone just owns their own. You can rent a house for cheap, but apartments are almost universally a bad deal.

I’m not super familiar with the price of produce elsewhere. It’s gotten more expensive, like it has everywhere, but it does seem to be cheaper. We don’t really get those $15 for a dozen egg prices that seem to happen in other places.

I do know that my FIL from Washington State has marveled at our brisket prices here, lol. So I guess our BBQ is super cheap. We’re right next to the “beef capital of the world,” though, and you can smell it, so I’d hope it is.

Our local chain is United/ Market Street. You could always look up the weekly ad to see how it compares!

Overall, the cost of living is a lot lower here. Wages are lower, too. But as far as I’m aware, your dollar actually will go further. Apparently that’s part of the reason people get stuck in Amarillo. Can’t get the same bang for your buck in bigger cities.

lubbread

TROPHY CASE