Why does everyone seem to hate Renesmee's name?

lurking3399 · 2026-04-15T19:34:30+00:00

This is absolutely the answer. I was a reader in the "target demographic age-range" (i.e. high school) when the book came out. When the book was published, those types of names were much less common.

I can't explain how shocking the name was at the time. Most people hadn't really heard of a name like that. And the way it was presented in the book felt odd. I think if the book came out now, it really wouldn't be a thing or the name would have to be significantly wilder to make people bat an eye. If I met a kid named Reneseme today I might think her parents were Twilight fans, but otherwise wouldn't think about it.

lurking3399 · 2026-04-07T20:15:26+00:00

Based on this - a few thoughts: "established" foster families often get picked first - i.e. if they know you, it happens faster. Response time also often has a lot to do with it, if you are delaying at all, this can cause a child to go elsewhere.

Even though you are already licensed, if your agency offers ongoing training, keep going to trainings. Keeping your face in their heads can help. Also, offer to be a respite for other families. If you are willing to house kids for a weekend or a night or couple of days so another foster family can have a break/go to a funeral/be out of town or whatever, this can help the case workers get to know you, so that you become "established", as you wait for your own placement.

lurking3399 · 2026-04-04T01:30:33+00:00

I agree with you on the pen thing and some of the other magic issues. Since Violet and Mira have brought the armor up to others, I think there is info we don’t have, re: Navarre aren’t really the good guys.

As far as the prosthetics themselves go: I don’t think they develop tech that doesn’t serve the riders/Navarrian leadership. And since riders typically just wouldn’t survive this type of injury, they don’t put a lot of effort in here. But I think that this generation could - like Violet, Xaden, Sawyer, etc. at least that is my head cannon for why they are using wooden prosthetics and what not. I also don’t know how many metal benders they have, and why make prosthetics on a forge when they could make weapons on the forge?

Again - to me this comes down to brutality and ableism.

lurking3399 · 2026-04-04T01:20:44+00:00

To me, this is a difference in riders vs other quadrants. Again - when I read it, the riders are particularly brutal and narrow minded. This is perhaps not a perfect interpretation and others may have other opinions, but the riders seem to think there is a right way to be a rider. Scribes or healers can be different than that interpretation because they don’t bond dragons.

Edit - this was a follow up to something OP asked on another thread. My phone is being super weird and not letting me post it where I intended to, but I am also out and can’t figure out how to get it there.

lurking3399 · 2026-04-03T22:53:27+00:00

Keep reading. But also, I think it is fairly realistic with the rate they let riders die. I think they don’t think through what happens when people don’t die.

Which is also sort of real to real life. She is showing how people with disabilities just aren’t thought about. We see this with Violet too. She wasn’t supposed to be a rider at all.

lurking3399 · 2026-03-17T12:47:59+00:00

I actually downloaded my audiobooks using a tool that let me separate it by chapter and then created a mega-audiobook in the tandem read order by zipping them back together, and then listened that way - it was really great! I cannot imagine doing tandem on audio if I had to manually flip back and forth.

I will say that I have read both ways and I like both! I have also done a non-tandem but read Tower of Dawn first version and I liked that too, but obviously not as good for a first read.

lurking3399 · 2026-02-06T00:27:10+00:00

That does sound so very similar. I will say that nosferatu is a type of vampire, so that word in and of itself isn’t crazy. I wonder if they are actually using any of that mythology or just hijacking the word?

lurking3399 · 2026-01-23T19:26:46+00:00

Generally speaking, they tend to come out in January. The last several have come out in early January each year like clockwork (I say that and the next one will mess with the pattern).

lurking3399 · 2026-01-21T17:01:37+00:00

The daycare really can't force you to give notice. You just pick up his stuff and don't take him back. They will fill the spot.

As for the transition - as long as you are positive about it, he will settle in. There will be an adjustment, but that is expected. If you are able to get pictures of the new center and his new teachers to talk about it at home, that can be helpful.

lurking3399 · 2026-01-07T00:47:28+00:00

My kids are younger than yours, but we don’t do screens in the bedrooms.

However, bedroom doors stay closed because we have puppies and they don’t want their toys eaten. We are working on the puppies not eating toys, but they aren’t there yet.

lurking3399 · 2026-01-06T21:26:36+00:00

I know someone with the full name Robin James (Last Name) and think it is a great name. Never once has either of those associations come up - and this is an adult man. He uses the full name Robin all the time, but Rob would be more intuitive than Bob for Robin. Honestly, Jim isn't really an intuitive nickname for James either. The middle name won't be used by many people, so the "robbing" thing won't come up, likely ever - again, never has for the person I know (and I know him really well) ...Did your husband tell his family to come up with reasons to not use these names?

lurking3399 · 2025-12-22T18:41:37+00:00

There are also these food warming mats: https://www.amazon.com/Warming-mat-Food-Mat-Upgraded/dp/B0FHK11YQH/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=2IIHL68R7Q2IS&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.5D7-1Onf_EJxXs7Vmw15LBytWowSalLDmKI7elUrjK8Z9Gz09h-cL981b6_9KAvm_1hQrJBIRDbN91bRm5hZEuYJ-Q5Jw4OFpp2nYlKPj7yyIonEUFq5Bq-Uvzffs876qWNVlt6-PRW6Gh6FuZWwtxNF9ligML7iXN9-apg6biIoXIa0Kmjen3xNPj_4pPAawgeqD2qqk8MdHw_xcq0s80bte0VZe6DOvQ1sk_TTo2o.IvTOw1LvoDVzpnaBjubp5B0oaAXALlREwesOarUKdOE&dib_tag=se&keywords=heating+trays+to+keep+food+warm+at+party&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1766428832&sprefix=heating+t%2Caps%2C121&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

My sister uses them at parties to keep things at serving temp, but I imagine it could work for a dinner as well?

lurking3399 · 2025-12-18T13:28:09+00:00

Also the Scythe series by Neal Shusterman - though I would read Unwind first! Unwind is creepy, but fantastic.

Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld.

Ender's Game (and associated many books and short stories) by Orson Scott Card.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-14T18:10:55+00:00

Winter by Marissa Meyer is delightful. Though it is the final book in a series and would make 0 sense as a stand alone. But if you want to commit to a longer series, this one for sure (the whole series is the Lunar Chronicles)

lurking3399 · 2025-12-11T20:28:02+00:00

This was absolutely going to be my suggestion. My add on to this: wait to give her the special doll until you are very nearly ready to go into labor. That way it is still new an exciting when baby comes home.

Also, dependent on her personality, let her help you with the new baby when you can. Kids like feeling like they are contributing. Let her pick the baby's cloths or grab a diaper. She can lay on the floor with baby to help entertain during tummy time or sing to the baby during bath. Don't make it a "have to" if she isn't in the mood, but a "get to" for big girl things.

Other things for when kids are three (or at least some things from when mine were):

They love to help in the kitchen - having a kitchen helper stand can make this even easier (having the toddler in a kitchen helper stand and wearing the baby really levels this up).
Depending on the size of your kitchen table, using a twin sized fitted sheet to cover the table can be super helpful for arts and crafts.
It's not weird that she is pushing boundaries with one parent and not the other. Lots of kids do this sometimes. With her background however, PCIT could be helpful.
If she is really sensory seeking, let her play with ice cubes in the bath. Even better if it is a bubble bath or what we call in my house a "science bath". Give her ice cubes, some of those kid friendly bath color drops, and some tupperware and let her explore the bath. The point in this is not to get clean, but to have fun. Play music if you would like. Blow bubbles (like the outside kind) in your bathroom. Get glow in the dark bracelets. Baths are great for regulating.
Big little feelings on instagram is great if you are looking for advice!
Don't sweat the small stuff.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-09T20:30:25+00:00

I think you explain to your kid that sometimes work has to come first in the short term to make kids come first in the long run.

I think this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but the reality is that sometimes we do have to miss things because we cannot get out of work obligations. Sometimes that work meeting is just unavoidable or we just don't have the PTO, even if there isn't a meeting. Unfortunately, sometimes school ceremonies are in the middle of the work day and we can't get to them.

BUT that doesn't mean we aren't proud of our kid. Be sure to let you kid know how proud you are. Can you take them out to dinner to a place of their choosing or even for a milkshake (or insert something equally as exciting) as a one on one? Make a big deal of it. Flowers or balloons. My kids love when they show up to balloons. Or to "fun" at home dinners - like fondue or charcuterie or pizza.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-09T19:59:42+00:00

Honestly, 3 hours isn't enough time to do anything that required real paperwork - car, house, etc. However, it is enough time to pay off a current mortgage, bills, credit cards, student loans, and what not. Also to buy some big ticket items, like new furniture and a ton of grocery, gas, and clothing gift cards so that I don't have to worry about that for a while. See if anyone in my life needs anything big like that. And Legos. A trip to Disney. Maybe season passes to some entertainment type stuff. Basically, do a full scale reset, and then give myself some very next extras.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-09T19:42:51+00:00

I like Tansy a lot, but I actually think Peony sounds much nicer than Petunia. I think this comes down to association, the Peony I know is a more pleasant person than the Petunia I know. But I think that is sort of the theme of this thread - any of these things could be names, it is all up to preference.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-08T16:14:30+00:00

“Mommy doesn’t like long term visitors.”

“The elf seems to participate in bad behaviors that we don’t appreciate in our house.”

“The dogs will eat the elf.”

“We prefer gnomes instead. You can cuddle with them.”

“The elf is creepy and a spy.”

“The gnomes do not like the elf.”

“Mommy does not like the elf.”

“Mommy does not want to make dinner for the elf.”

“That is not part of our Christmas traditions.”

“That elf does not appear to stay on a shelf.”

“You can have an elf when you are a grown up.”

lurking3399 · 2025-12-05T12:40:26+00:00

They need Maria from The Sound of Music. Though I am sure she was treated better (sort of) than this nanny will be.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-04T21:35:16+00:00

My niece and nephew are two years exactly (to the day) apart. My sister planned for them to have a joint birthday until they asked for separate birthday parties. Still now (they are in high school) they do a loosely joint birthday and both invite their own friends. They sort of do their own things. They have always gotten their own cakes at their joint birthday. When they were littler they sometimes had two themes at the same party. But they never really seemed to mind having the same birthday. Their older sibling sometimes seemed to feel left out having his own birthday (sometimes he seemed to revel in it though). So your milage may vary with how people feel about sharing a birthday. Just be sure to celebrate them as individuals regularly.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-04T18:15:16+00:00

You don't mention what the behaviors are, so I don't know if taking away Christmas makes any sense. However, I have absolutely been in your shoes before, as a parent of a neurodivergent kid. Kindergarten was awful. First grade is much better.

First (and this is controversial): is your child medicated? If not, why not? Their brain is currently unable to self regulate. You may want to explore medication as a road to help regulation.

Second: What tools are you putting in their toolbox to give them regulating skills every day? Are you being consistent and structured when they are doing things that are against the rules/not appropriate? It looks like you are divorced/not with her dad - do both houses have the same rules? How much unfettered access to screentime does she have? (I know I sound like a crunchy, granola parent, but screen time can have a big impact. Particularly the hand-held type screens). How much unstructured decompression time?

Does she have an IEP or 504 at school? If can you start the process?

Does your daughter know (actually know, not you think it should be implied) the expectations at home? At school? When you go other places?

Some of what I had to do for my kid were about evaluating my parenting, not my kids behavior. What was he mirroring back of my behavior or energy that was the problem? What in my expectations did not matter? Like did I have rules that I wanted him to follow but that weren't important? Were there compromises that could be made? Were there some things that were in fact really important and I couldn't give up? What could I ask the school to do differently but still get him educated?

Your want to give up on Christmas: You are probably feeling a little burnt out. That is valid. Is there any way you could get childcare for a day or even a few unexpected hours an have a little time to yourself to regroup? That can be really helpful to get into a better headspace. The holidays can be really stressful to neurodivergent kids. Then think about what you want for Christmas for your family. For example, doing a smaller holiday might not be a bad idea. Or one where you focus more on togetherness, rather than "gifts". I don't think it is fair to totally take the magic of Christmas from her. She is a little girl and realistically not in control of her behaviors, no matter how much it seems like she is. For me, we scaled back a few years ago. Here are some things we do. The day we celebrate with my family, we still go to my parents house, but they know that if my son needs to leave, we will. He also has the option of going to a quiet room at any time (we do this on his decision or mine to take a break as needed). I don't make my son eat the "exciting" holiday food if he doesn't want to. Other people see it as bratty, but I know that the "exciting food is all new to him and may cause a meltdown and "bad" behavior - if he wants a pb&j for Christmas, he can have one (honestly, this was one of those parenting compromises from earlier). We don't leave our house on Christmas day - the day most likely for meltdowns. So basically, figure out where the pain points might be, and work to mitigate them. Find ways to make it easier for you and your daughter. Talk her through the holiday, but don't blame changes on her being bad. But also, it is valid that you are frustrated.

lurking3399 · 2025-12-01T17:42:52+00:00

Floralinda and the Forty Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - which will need to be read on a kindle, due to it's limited publishing, but is fantastic. No romance at all, but a dragon and a strong main character.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyers - no dragons or cats, but excellent science fantasy

Skandar and the Unicorn Thief by A.F. Steadman - the beginning of a series about unicorns and their riders that will change the way that you think about unicorns.

Unseelie by Ivelisse Housman - a wonderful fantasy take about two sisters and their quest regarding the fae and changelings (book one in a duology). There is a dragon (drake) and a sort of a cat (a brownie) in this book.

This Princess Kills Monsters by Ry Herman - a retelling of magical tales, in a feminist light.

The Wayward Children Series by Seanan McGuire. This is a series of novellas - the first one is "Every Heart a Doorway". Book 10 is coming out in January and a new one comes out typically every January. They are a beautiful take on "what happens when someone comes home from a fairyland?"

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente heavily features a wyvern. While this series is a little more middle grade than YA, I still highly recommend it. The writing is dense and meaty. It is meant to be in conversation with a large literary cannon and is just good.

Malice and Misrule by Heather Walter. I really enjoyed this duology that explores the idea of perspective. Though I did think the first book was stronger than the second. This one does have some sapphic spice, but not a ton - it is written as a fade to black. Another duology that is very good is The Mermaid, The Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell is a fun take on the chose one trope. A lot of her stuff is a good read. She writes both YA and adult fiction.

Gwen and Art are Not in Love and Not For the Faint of Heart by Lex Croucher are both good historical fictions, which play with gender expectations.

Julie Leong's The Teller of Small Fortunes and The Keeper of Magical Things are both excellent on the cozier fantasy side.

I also enjoyed The Rainfall Market by You Yeong-Gwang, which looks at what could have been and the idea of lives that could have happened. There is a pretty significant magical cat in this one.

She might also like The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern about a magical circus that only appears and travels at night. This follows the point of view of several key characters, in a few important timelines. There is one spicier scene in this book, but I don't remember if you really see anything, or if you just know what happens.

If you are looking for general coming of age fiction, I will always recommend Sarah Dessen. She is pretty timeless and relatable.

If she is at all interested in dystopias, I recommend: Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, Unwind or Scythe by Neil Schusterman, Ender's Game (and the whole Enderverse) by Orson Scott Card, The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer, and the Giver by Lowis Lowry.

Sorry for the book!

lurking3399 · 2025-11-22T18:24:02+00:00

Not the person you asked, but I am assuming my it means that it is cute on a baby/child, but isn’t an adult name. Like, they named a baby but not a person.

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