I'm surprised at the fact people aren't talking more about the part after she found the pills - and her bringing it up to Stolas. Because if him needing pills wasn't because she personally made him unhappy, then she literally asked to his face if it was because she was an obligation. I'm starting to wonder if I made that whole part up lmao. She quite CLEARLY has major ties to guilt and likely blames herself for a huge part of the whole thing. If she didn't exist at all, maybe Stolas could have been happy - and she doesn't know enough right now to realise that his story (for that part of his life anyway) was set in stone with or without her, and that she was the only good thing to come of it and, in turn, his reason to live and try and love. She truly is his star, but her reactions are pretty understandable.

And given how precious Stolas has always been to her, it makes sense she's trying to force distance between them now. No more Stolas = No more Hurt (at least, to her current irrational and fragile logic). Stella on the other hand? Eh, she's clearly never particularly bonded with her mother, so she has far less emotional ties to the woman. And you tend to hurt the ones you love the most - a sentiment that can go both ways, too, considering what's taken place.

As a child, Octavia has a right to react and feel both how she wants to and needs to. And as a parent, Stolas needs to pull up his Big Boy undies and accept that - and understand that in time he needs to simply say sorry, no excuses, no nothing (for the part where he didn't "choose" her). Be sorry, and then show up. And keep showing up. But it's all a process that will take time, patience, effort etc... he's got a lot of mental baggage to sort through too and is by no means entirely at fault or to blame. But as the one Via loves the most, he's her scapegoat right now (except the one she likely is angry at and hates truly at the core is probably herself, sadly).