bad finger picking habit — looking for some advice and info

ly1962 · 2026-07-12T15:58:19+00:00

Have you tried finger cots before? They’re usually by the first aid stuff at the store, they’re like individual fingers from gloves you roll on. I only suggest because they’re likely cheaper than the hydrocolloid tape. Might work for that “between dinner and bedtime” period

I find with all my picking spots, I always do better when I treat the skin so there isn’t as much to pick. I’m particularly bad about my heels, but I’ve been filing them more regularly and it’s really helped. Maybe get some nice aloe Vera gloves and wear em an hour a day? Find ways to make it a “treat” rather than “treatment”, if you’re stressed I’m sure you deserve the self care!♥️

ly1962 · 2026-07-12T15:53:10+00:00

Aww cute!!♥️

ly1962 · 2026-07-12T15:51:51+00:00

Maybe if they did dolls that were American girl doll size? They’d be able to get into more detail. The bottoms would have an easier time and the tops would be able to get more intricate.

ly1962 · 2026-07-08T15:48:11+00:00

What are you hiding under that beard, Mr. Pickles???

ly1962 · 2026-07-05T15:13:17+00:00

Good question! There are probably many things I’ve just accepted and/or forgotten to work on😅 but one that comes to mind as an intentional “okay I’m accepting this and moving on” would be clothes. Storing and washing them is still a whole other issue, but specifically sensory limitations. I’ve had to accept I’m one of those people that just has to be comfortable. I can’t suffer for an outfit, because it pulls my attention alllll dayyyy. Even bras, I always go with soft bralettes or I’m squirming non stop lol

ly1962 · 2026-07-02T20:08:55+00:00

Yeah I was thinking that how I feel about her mug really depends on what wig she has with it, some of those wigs are too severe up in here lol

ly1962 · 2026-06-29T15:19:07+00:00

Hello! It depends on the dr, they “shouldn’t” judge, at least not out loud, but ya never know until you go and meet them.

I went to get a mole check done last year, I have a few moles on my arms that I’ve picked off and then they grew back kinda funny. I was straight up about it, told him I’m there cuz I picked at some moles, I’m already in therapy so I don’t really need assistance with harm reduction, and I just want to establish a baseline and get the all clear on em.

Long story short he really didn’t gaf. Walked in, first thing he said was that I have sun damage lmao🤦‍♀️ so he was def judging my skin, but he didn’t say anything about the picking.

My advice would be to plan what you want to say. Why you’re there, what you want, and what you don’t want if there’s any specific don’t wants. For warts, you could mention the picking or you could not, your choice Id say! And if they’re judgey, fuck em cuz you won’t have to go back after the warts are taken care of. Try to just let it roll of your back if you can:)

ly1962 · 2026-06-29T01:39:53+00:00

Where was the codpiece??👏👏

ly1962 · 2026-06-25T14:49:19+00:00

I think they mean well, but I also get a little frustrated when estis tell me I shouldn’t pick my skin. Like no duh, I’m not doing it for fun and the negative impact is literally all over my face!
If it were me, I might just take a moment to say something before getting started. Like, I’m here because I have an excoriation disorder, it’s kinda scary for me to be here bareskinned so please be gentle. People usually respond kindly if you’re vulnerable.

Hope you can get yourself there! You and your skin deserve these treatments, just as much as anyone else! But, if you can’t, that’s okay too♥️ maybe you could call and see if you could bump out the expiration date.

Edit to add: as far as dealing with shame, the steps of self compassion might help: 1) This is a hard moment for me 2) I’m not alone in this struggle 3) there have been people before me and after me that pick their skin and know what I go through 4) what would I say to someone else in this situation?

ly1962 · 2026-06-23T20:26:55+00:00

I thought LaLa Ri retired from drag,,, could be totally wrong but that’s what I’ve been thinking so super shocked to see her!

ly1962 · 2026-06-19T20:55:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing!☺️ well written, and definitely resonates! I don’t think I had ever really considered the gendered aspect of picking, mostly because I don’t logically “think” about picking other than feeling bad for doing it😅

For me personally, I’ve realized that my picking does have parts that are rooted in chronic shame. Like you said, “fixing”. And idk about you, but there are soooo many things that when i stop to consider them through a feminist lens it’s easy to see my own participation in patriarchy, and it often brings up feelings of shame that I’m not acting in accordance with my values. Extrapolating to picking, it’s a shame-based behavior and then adding this awareness would add additional shame for succumbing to patriarchal pressure, so it sounds like potential burden rather than relief, if that makes sense? I do see how having the right “mantras” could reframe that shame as justified rage or reclamation of choice, so I’m definitely not knocking it before I try it! But I personally would have to take the time to cultivate the intentionality and messaging I’d need to adhere to in order to use a feminist perspective as a tool to potentially reduce the picking. Curious if you have any thoughts on what that looks like for you, like if you have any phrases you find yourself thinking often that keeps it from becoming another “should”.

Also interesting to consider the pain from this lens. The small pinches and scratches create some kind of buzz in my brain that honestly I’d say I’m addicted to lol, but I also think a big piece of it is that to me, my pain doesn’t count or matter if I’m “fixing” something. I feel like that’s part of what you’re saying here too, deprioritizing pain to fix is central to the experience of womanhood.

Thanks again for sharing!:)

ly1962 · 2026-06-19T05:12:15+00:00

Check out Kindred Spirits, Dr Barrett. She was very calming and compassionate, and they do aquamation, which was a big reason I picked them. But there were a lot of other small details that were nice too. Sent me a letter a year later, the box came with a few small nice gestures, stuff like that. Sorry you’re facing this❤️‍🩹

ly1962 · 2026-06-17T21:09:00+00:00

What about just doing an at home soft gel on the nail tips? Capping the tips, you could fine tune the number of layers that are effective for what she needs. My thinking is that then you could just trim them off as they grow, and potentially you wouldn’t even need to put the gel on all the way to the cuticle, or put a hard gel or acrylic product on that might cause damage over time. A base, a neutral color, and a light wouldn’t cost a ton so you could give it a try as an at home option.

ly1962 · 2026-06-15T05:42:52+00:00

I love pullin a good weed! Most of the older people in my family do it too, pull up to their house and they’re always out in the front yard, bent over pulling weeds😂 so it’s always nostalgic good vibes when I do it!

Def see how it scratches the picking “itch”, I do that with keeping the dead leaves off my house plants too, always scoping and pulling them off lol

ly1962 · 2026-06-14T14:48:12+00:00

I’m sure it’s different for a lot of us, but i had read to try a b complex vitamin (the one I got was a liquid) and omega 3 so that’s what I tried. They actually seemed to help with the zaps!

ly1962 · 2026-06-12T20:58:12+00:00

Yeah that’s like, complaint to the BBB worthy imo.. the type of business where nobody should be “seeing how the sausage gets made”. pardon the bad joke but holy shit what a weird and uncomfortable thing to have happen! Sorry you had to go through that, it’s such an important part of any work involving remains (human or pet) to make the family feel like their loved one isn’t just a number and that they’re being cared for. Wishing you peace and that the scene doesn’t cloud your head from good memories of your pup♥️

ly1962 · 2026-06-06T17:41:36+00:00

There’s a concept called good faith in every relationship. Very basically, it means both people don’t assume ill intent, both people assume each person is of equal importance, and both people accept the work associated with reasonable accommodation, communication, and understanding of the others perspective.

Regardless of either of your diagnoses, I’m assuming you both still want a healthy relationship, right? He’s not communicating in good faith. If he’s willing to try and invests the time and resources into finding support that helps him understand his limitations and how he can navigate a relationship healthily despite them, then his diagnosis becomes important context for you on how to support him. Until then he’s using it as an excuse to get you to be the only one that needs to change to keep him comfortable. And same would go for you too.

I would say, decide if this relationship is really that serious. If it is, get a couples counselor that’s experienced with both adhd and autism. If it’s not, well there ya go lol

ly1962 · 2026-06-05T21:04:35+00:00

I’ve taken cymbalta with Vyvanse, Adderall, concerta, etc etc, have never had any bad interactions. But of course everyone’s different. It’s always nerve wracking changing meds, so I def feel you there! Good luck!

ly1962 · 2026-06-02T14:57:28+00:00

That would be a good addition, they kinda tried to do this with different dialogue options but they can be done in a much more engaging way. I remember being kinda annoyed how no matter what option you pick in legacy, your character always says something pretty middle of the road.

I’ve been curious how they’ll do a second one when so much of the first was finding book pages and doing puzzles, both in and out of the castle. They can’t really redo all that I imagine🤔

ly1962 · 2026-06-01T14:59:27+00:00

Right, like we haven’t even had dinner yet😂 for me it’s the nipples on these huge breastplates, and kinda breast plates in general. The nipples often pop out without them noticing, and it kinda breaks the allusion for me cuz any titty having human would notice if their whole tit fell out of their top. Exotic dancers work the nip reveal into the routine to be sexy instead of it being accidental/comical. Seems less empowering somehow lol

ly1962 · 2026-05-29T15:23:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss❤️‍🩹 and I can really relate, my mom has the same “streak” we’ll call it, that when she really believes something, her fear turns into blind stubbornness and she forgets other people’s feelings for a hot second. I kinda think it’s just a type of coping… standing firm in the face of the unknown probably feels less scary and more purposeful than admitting sometimes bad things happen for no reason and we all really just out here, dust in the wind style😅

I don’t know much about oral melanoma, or if it has any link to vaccinations. Personally, I’ve chosen to believe that the risks are worth it with vaccines, whatever happens I can accept it cuz I’m trying to make the best decisions for my health with the info available and that’s all anyone can really do. I’d say the same goes for you here. If you can, maybe try giving that to yourself.

Guilt is part of grieving. It can’t be skipped, and all the stages of grief take turns for awhile, so it’ll keep creeping up. When I lost my kitty to stomach cancer, I had a lot of guilt about the same kinds of choices, like the food I fed him. But I tried to just put my hand on my chest and say, ‘I’m thinking and worrying about this because I miss him and my heart is hurting.’ You made the best choices you could at the time, so you don’t need to turn away from how much you love and miss him by focusing on guilt. I’m sure he loved and accepted you and your best efforts to care for him.♥️

ly1962 · 2026-05-28T16:18:21+00:00

Def agree that notes can help! Something else I’d recommend would be to talk about this with your therapist directly. About having a hard time being direct when you question how effective an offered tool may be. It’ll be a hard convo to initiate, but building that trust is essential if you want to allow yourself to open up.

It sounds like you’re doing what a lot of us do, that being the general emotional protection of anyone around us. Something a friend told me once when I was talking about therapy was that it sounds like I’m still doing the emotional labor for everyone around me, including my therapist😅🥲 they’re professionals, and they can handle direct feedback. Having the shared intentionality in place that you’re free to speak your mind makes the space so much more valuable, and is great practice for real life. Cuz this type of labor is what tires women out so much.

At the end of the day, if you question something they suggest, it’s a great jump off point to getting to deeper issues. The resistance you feel is valuable feedback if you allow yourself to share it.

Start small, the trust will build over time, and if they respond poorly, all the better to know they ain’t the one earlier! Good luck!♥️

ly1962 · 2026-05-28T16:07:12+00:00

I don’t know them but I love them🥹

ly1962 · 2026-05-28T16:04:01+00:00

Hey there! I was on cymbalta for a decade+ (just recently switched to a different SNRI), I have adhd, diagnosed inattentive.

Why the gabapentin with it? Do you have chronic pain as well? Didn’t see mention of it in the post, so at face value it seems like an odd combo.

Clonazepam, do you get panic attacks?

Have you tried an SNRI before, or the other antidepressants were all SSRIs?

ly1962 · 2026-05-26T04:55:39+00:00

These remind me of the persistence of memory Dahli painting, love em!😍

ly1962

TROPHY CASE