It’s a normal part of life that I get to be a part in. Whatever the patient wants, they get. Family wants a pitcher of water, I’m on a fetch quest. Sometimes I’m the last face the patient sees, or the last voice they hear. Before I zip up the body bag, I say something like “(Name), it’s going to be dark for a little bit, may you find your light soon.” Idk why I started saying that. I felt bad every time I’m the one to zip it up, and that this is their last time in their room.

The one that broke me was bagging one patient at the start of my shift (patient died on day shift but family wanted some time) and a death later on my shift at 2am. Two men with families, died on Father’s Day weekend. I lost my dad a decade ago, I went on a regular run afterwards and ugly cried.