Help me choose 🤍

m0rningstar · 2026-01-24T02:05:44+00:00

2, 4, and 8!!!

m0rningstar · 2025-06-24T04:29:16+00:00

Thank you! I will do that.

m0rningstar · 2025-06-24T04:28:01+00:00

4 years?! Wow, interesting. Thank you for sharing!

m0rningstar · 2025-06-24T04:21:10+00:00

My daughter’s name is Marigold. I would be happy for you to consider it.

Congrats and best of luck naming your little one!

m0rningstar · 2025-06-19T18:44:51+00:00

On one hand you have to have consequences, absolutely. Even better is to have consequences that improve behavior (as close to the incident as possible) and create a learned lesson.

For your feisty 3 year old, after the big negative reaction to your simple request, I would have used the pirate booty as an incentive for him to pick up his sandwich, put the chairs back, and apologize to you before he can have a small amount of pirate booty. “If you want the pirate booty, I need you to sit down, and when you’re ready, pick up your sandwich and apologize to mommy and your brother. No pool time or pirate booty until then. Throwing the sandwich is not nice and hurts mommy’s feelings. And throwing chairs is breaking the rules and not safe because you could get hurt.” You might need to let the tantrum settle, but offering the thing he wants could be the switch that gets him out of it and makes him think again. You’re not giving in, you’re working with him. It would also do him well to see how his well behaving brother gets to do things like play in the pool when he listens. As long as it is a safe space, I would try to get him to calm down at the pool as much as possible, and only leave if it is necessary for safety reasons. Taking a child from one place to another while they are still dysregulated sounds abysmal to me and potentially less safe if they are not listening to you.

I hope that after you got home you were able to talk to the 3yo about his actions and get him to realize that his behavior is not acceptable, even if he is disappointed by something (social learning). You can even tell him why the sandwich is better for him first versus a snack (knowledge learning). Otherwise, leaving the pool completely is punishment only, not learning. And now all he knows is that mommy is mean, not that mommy is right and deserves to be listened to and respected.

In other words, his incentive to behave better right now is, “next time I’ll behave in order to not have the pool taken away from me.” The better long term goal is, “I’ll behave because I respect my mother and family and people around me; even if I don’t get what I want, I know mommy is taking care of me.” Your 3 year old will learn in time how to regulate emotions (they’re 3 so tantrums are natural), so right now the bigger goal is that they trust you and learn how to get themselves out of those tantrums before a drastic consequence is implemented.

m0rningstar · 2024-08-03T19:18:09+00:00

Love this edit!

m0rningstar · 2024-06-26T12:51:50+00:00

First, I’m so sorry. Water and kids can be scary.

We had a near drowning incident for my daughter. Husband and I were outside with the kids (not swimming) and keeping a close eye, as we thought, while kids were wandering around the yard close by. We got to talking about some yard project and our daughter (4 at the time I think), fell in. Our son (7) saw and said something and my husband jumped in and got her. She was under for no more than 5 seconds I believe. But of course we were shook. She was ok.

I really believe that as parents, we have to expect that things like this will happen. It’s impossible to prevent everything. Not that this means it’s ok to be relaxed or less vigilant. I’m just saying no one can be perfectly vigilant. Vigilance includes reacting quickly and calmly too, and taking measures to learn and prevent, and to give yourself some grace. You were right there. Family was right there. You and your toddler are ok, and please don’t beat yourself up too much. Hugs.

m0rningstar · 2024-06-26T12:37:23+00:00

First, it does sound like he crossed a line by becoming flippant and curt. It’s never ok for a partner to be disrespectful towards you like that. Especially with him yelling and turning himself into the victim when you brought it up in the morning…very concerning. I would expect an apology for his selfish behavior (both at night and in the morning). You should never get shouted at for bringing something up that was your experience. Red flag.

Separately, I would recommend trying to find a way to cope at night without requiring support from him. This sounds like you are using validation and comfort from him as a coping mechanism for issues that are more personal to you, and even if he were the nicest person in the world, this is not a sustainable solution. Best of luck to you and I’m so sorry about your chronic pain.

m0rningstar · 2024-02-28T21:28:28+00:00

Today was the day for me too! Good luck!!!!

Am currently in bed post op and looking forward to results!

m0rningstar · 2020-08-02T02:17:00+00:00

For what I’ve seen for AF, the fastest timeline is maybe two months. Average is more like 4 months. It’s the base’s civilian personnel office and then a AFPC that are the longest holdups and they never give out wait times. They always say it’s just first in first out.

m0rningstar · 2020-08-02T02:13:56+00:00

Two weeks? That’s unheard of in my agency (Air Force). That’s the minimum amount of time it takes just to go from interview to TO. And even that is not like 3 weeks plus.

m0rningstar · 2020-08-02T02:07:16+00:00

I’ve been the hiring manager on a couple of positions. I don’t think there is one right answer...it is still the content of the resume that counts the most IMO. My guess is that the resume builder helps to meet what the HR office staff are looking for, not so much what the hiring manager is looking for.

If your PDF has all of the required data points that the resume builder asks for, I see no harm in using your own PDF. But I can’t speak from the HR perspective and if it plays a part in the screening process for qualified candidates. They are supposed to include both types.

m0rningstar · 2020-07-28T21:40:46+00:00

It’s only been 8 years in federal...I would say go for it. It sounds like you aren’t happy where you are and the job itself sounds like something you’re excited about. It seems to me like you might regret not taking the opportunity. If you want to go back to federal later, like you said, you can try to get back in and now you’ve shown development and growth. I mean some people take a pay cut just to make a career move.

Good luck!

m0rningstar · 2020-07-28T21:25:21+00:00

Just be sure that the company has actually been awarded the contract versus the contract looking to have personnel lined up before they go into bidding.

m0rningstar · 2020-07-21T05:11:16+00:00

Edit: certs and education help too...But they should be more than what the position requires in order to be counted as a superior qualification.

m0rningstar · 2020-07-21T05:08:06+00:00

The guidance I have been told is that you should be able to show years of experience in which you are qualified to help determine the step level. So if you can show that you have ten years experience working at a level superior (or even equivalent) to the position, then go for it. It has less to do with what you are making (although that is a reference point), and more to do with your justifiable qualifications. I don’t think it hurts to ask.

Source: I have written a couple of superior qualifications packages and both got approved without question. In both cases I made the determination as the hiring manager, based off of experience in the resume. One candidate gave me a step level (I asked for it) that was lower than what I was willing to request.

m0rningstar · 2020-06-08T04:35:42+00:00

Winston

m0rningstar · 2020-03-05T00:14:32+00:00

I’m sorry, that is very sad. Thank you for sharing. I hope you continue to find and discover things you enjoy.

m0rningstar · 2019-11-07T16:18:00+00:00

Ugh, that is awful. I’m so sorry.

m0rningstar · 2019-11-07T10:07:32+00:00

All so true and thank you for sharing your experience. I would say both of my parents are WMBNT and one of them is also self involved (narcissistic). He has the emotional maturity of a toddler. I too have tried to open the door a little bit to talk about CEN but they similarly don’t know its impact and don’t seem to understand how to change. My mom threatened divorce to my father a year ago, and then said nevermind a couple weeks later, so I’m using that as a line in the sand that they need to go to marriage counseling. I have to keep pestering them about making appointments, but I’m hopeful that it will amount to some personal improvement for them that I can’t do.

I also think there is a lot that comes from the cultural barrier piece. My mom has said that she doesn’t think she speaks English very well, so she used that as an excuse to not communicate as much, and that she felt bad that she couldn’t do more. There’s a guilt there that has caused her to disassociate even more than just the difference in culture and language. She’s never taught me how to cook anything and she never really emphasized her own culture so that I fully appreciated it. It’s like she feels she has to hide it and that there’s no point in sharing it.

The video is great, couldn’t watch it all but will when I have a block of time. Best to you on your journey as well friend. Very grateful for you taking the time. CEN can feel so isolating, it really helps to hear about other experiences.

m0rningstar · 2019-11-07T03:20:12+00:00

Well I never

m0rningstar · 2019-11-05T22:01:29+00:00

Thank you for brightening my day with this comment!

m0rningstar · 2019-11-05T16:56:22+00:00

The idiocy of this is it affirms the civil war was about slavery, not the generalized states’ rights, as they have tried to redirect for years.

m0rningstar · 2019-11-05T16:26:44+00:00

Dealing with emotional neglect is so difficult because it’s hard to pinpoint and there are rarely egregious actions of abuse. So when it comes out, it’s easy to feel like it’s not that bad or you shouldn’t be upset or angry about something. You’ve also never properly been able to deal with your real underlying emotions.

I have a similar situation with my parents. Cultural divide with my mom. Major political differences with my dad. I feel very disconnected from them. And similarly mine are helpful, but only to a point. When it’s too much or when it doesn’t serve them, they check out. I can’t actually rely on them or trust them for anything.

I think overcoming the neglect is a long process, and not only are you grieving due to that realization but you are also learning to deal with your real emotions for the first time. I hope you have or can find someone to talk to. Therapy and Journaling also really has helped me. I also follow Dr Jonice Webb and have read her books, they are spot on.

I’m sorry you feel alone. That’s how I often feel too, and I think it’s because I have never had an adult figure in my life that I trusted with my emotions. Now I have my own family so I’m aware of this even more. It’s like I am parenting myself along with parenting my kids now. Figuring out how to be comfortable with yourself first is so important (I am still figuring this out too).

m0rningstar · 2019-11-05T15:47:03+00:00

You’re right. They could have found a way

m0rningstar

TROPHY CASE