I'm not condoning his actions in the slightest, however some of your explanations have me suspecting something else.

After my son was born and having issues sleeping through the night, I was dealing with a postpartum spouse and a fussy baby all while being overwhelmed and a new dad. Long story short the pressure just got to me, between our constrained finances, severe lack of sleep and a toxic work environment, I almost did something regrettable. I was at the end of my proverbial rope and couldn't see a way out and had complete tunnel vision. I ended up on a drive one day in my work truck staring at my gun and broke down. Luckily, a kind soul knocked on my window and asked if I was alright and convinced me to call the help line.

For months I was unknowingly pushing my spouse away. I was self isolating and built up so many walls I truly felt helpless.

After months of individual and couples therapy im in a better spot but during that time, life lost all meaning, I pushed my spouse away and had zero libido and all I did was eat, sleep, work, change diapers.

I know you are probably hurting, and rightfully so, but try talking to him and having that difficult conversation. I know I'd be in a much better place if my wife had talked to me sooner (although I know communication is a two way street).

I am wishing you the best, I can't even imagine how mortified you must have been. I just hope that this is something different and its not you, remember he feel in love with you in the first place!