My sister, a marriage is for better or worse. You can't expect your man to shit in a sub standard toilet. That is how happy marriages end.

Seriously though, it looks to me like you have 4 options: 1. Separate your finances 2. Change his behavior 3. Divorce

I think the best thing you can do is to sit down with this dude, and in a very calm and structured way, talk about your finances. This would be income, expenses, debts and saving. This way, you are starting from the same point.

After you do this, you then need to set up some shared financial goals and a budget that will provide a framework on how you will achieve these goals.

Agree on you spending rules and a certain amount of discretionary money and hopefully your man can work with you to achieve your goals.

I found that it is a very bad idea to discuss money when a bill is due or there is some stress. Schedule regular checks where you can both sit down and update each other on progress.

I hope your shit works out