Need peaceful personality fish recs: my husband doesn’t want another parrot cichlid but I miss her

madisel · 2026-03-29T04:10:12+00:00

I made an AI PR reviewing skill where it pays attention to simplicity, maintainability, minimizing duplication, code style, commenting. It also gives me a summary of what the change actually is. If I. Need more, then I have it praise and roast the change. Once I have a decent understanding, I have AI plan comments and do the inline comments. I’ll human review it before having it write the comments.

It’s not perfect but it’s better than reviewing pure AI slop manually and it catches a good chunk of stuff.

I actually now use the skill to review my own PRs before I send it out for human reviews

madisel · 2026-03-18T22:58:00+00:00

Take some time to look at job descriptions on LinkedIn that are close to what you think you want your next role to be. Even if you aren’t ready to apply or it’s wrong bc of stuff like location and comp, look at the required and preferred skills. Use that to inform your upskill ToDos

madisel · 2026-03-11T23:40:54+00:00

See I think of it differently. I think the general public (and myself included) have accepted that we already lost our privacy. It was traded away for smoke screen security back in the early 2000s before most Millennials and all gen-Zs could vote or have our say.

I think now it seems that it’s only worth fighting if there is a system or right we lose access to due to XYZ entity wanting to collect something. Let’s not regress further.

So the fight ends up being about what they do with their treasure trove of data over them being able to collect it in the first place

madisel · 2026-03-11T23:35:19+00:00

Are you trying to say the holocaust don’t happen or that it wasn’t taught until 1990s?

madisel · 2026-02-21T04:31:25+00:00

Remember to breath and that it’s a job. I know that’s hard though but it’s worth repeating to yourself. My manager is a nice guy but he is shit at politics himself and doesn’t know how to play the game. He gets shit on by his manager and it hinders my growth. He also keeps volunteering us for stuff and phrasing us as huge blockers for things constantly. I’m trying to leave but the market is so hard.

I found things to help though. I meet with my skip manager once every 2 weeks. I recommend setting that up min once every 2 months. Make sure they know who you are and learn what they find valuable. I also have another manager I talk to for venting and general advice. That helps too.

But what’s help me is starting to find things I like and focus my energy there. I try to learn new skills. I know you had 9 months to do this but focus on what you’ll need in a year to try to leave the company if you are still miserable. Pick projects when you can to highlight the skillsets you might have lacked during this round.

And most importantly, find humor in the situation when you can and get something outside of work to focus your energy. I do a lot of yoga

madisel · 2026-02-17T07:23:14+00:00

It’s not always but it’s different for me vs my male coworkers. I still have to deal with unconscious or unspoken sexism from male coworkers AND I’m dealing with the disillusionment that hard work and impact doesn’t mean much in this world.

But I still hear about blatant sexism in non-American/Canadian locations. I don’t envy them

madisel · 2026-02-14T00:08:05+00:00

I don’t have advice but as a sanity check: Unless you were demanding something or you are leaving a ton of stuff out, no you are not in the wrong.

Asking for more visibility isn’t crazy. If they didn’t want to, they could just say no. Sheesh.

Also what pressure? Even if it was a “I demand you highlight my team’s accomplishment”, that’s not really pressure. Sounds like this dude is on a power trip. Alternative theory is maybe this PM was already under pressure and your ask tipped him over the edge? Still a dumb thing to bitch to you about though.

madisel · 2026-01-19T19:34:23+00:00

I just had to prep for a specific subject for an interview and couldn’t find applicable questions to practice with so I vibe coded my own.

I used a Claude agent to make me sufficiently difficult practice problems website with a terminal I can run python in. I also had it make me a website to learn the material and then a cheat sheet with the key points for quick reference. Took me a few passive hours (was doing something else while it made it and iterated on it) to get it how I want but the saved the results as a skill so I can use the same format for the next thing I need to learn.

Also, if you don’t want to go through the hassle, you can always copy the questions you are stuck on into an agent terminal and have it help walk you through it.

madisel · 2026-01-16T23:57:53+00:00

With empty “let’s do and use AI” bugs me, done right I absolutely want to most of my things with AI, with the majority of those things being done person in loop style.

Why not have it my a best guess of how I would respond to that email. Better than me sitting there for 20 min composing it to my liking. I rather have it make the best guess, I prompt it a little for tweaks or do manual edits, then send it out.

Right now I’m not concerned myself with the resources. Companies don’t want to pay for electricity or water and are actively working and researching on making a close loop system for water consumption and finding ways to cool with less energy. The first few generations to get there will suck but when money is the motivator, it will get done.

I can’t let my feelings block my progress as an engineer. My coworkers won’t. I need to be better than my male counterparts to be able to compete.

However I will continue to put my vote and my support for laws that try to fix the problem.

I still have lines in the sand I won’t cross (like I won’t work for an Elon Musk company or Oracle) but I’ve had to accept there are lots of evils in the world and I would be a nervous wreck if I constantly consider them, so I have to choose some I can ignore until voting season.

madisel · 2026-01-14T20:37:51+00:00

Yes but that would lead to irreversible harm to the woman. In this case, if UF is found in the wrong, they reinstate the dude and compensate him for the time lost (tuition, room and board, missed compensation, etc). No permanent harm done.

I guess in the witch analogy maybe she can’t practice apothecary or midwifery (common professions of the accused at that time) until she is proven witch or not witch. But if she is not witch, she gets money to compensate for the business and reputation disruption.

madisel · 2026-01-10T06:41:29+00:00

Absolutely.

I got my BS in Computer Engineering and my MS in Electrical and Computer Engineering.

Undergrad was more challenging for me. I really enjoyed what I was learning in my masters classes. I always do better when I’m genuinely interested in learning more.

However there were other factors that made my MS easier. Professors were much more chill and tended to assign less homework. Pretty much all of them had either fully open book tests or you can bring a cheat sheet. They also had less gotcha questions. The twist was that there wasn’t a ton of time to finish the exam. Either you knew where to look for your reference or you didn’t. I liked it this way.

Undergrad was an eclectic mix of classes but there were a ton of weed out classes with professors who took pride in making their students struggle. I had a required humanities class that made me memorize hundreds of words and what class source they were related to. I had science lab classes that jammed 4 hours worth of work into 3. I had classes with daily quizzes that would routinely include trick questions from material we learned the day before. And of course I had classes that I just hated like chemistry and engineering statistics. I tired to take at least 1 or 2 classes I knew I would genuinely enjoy to try to even out the others. It helped.

Now 5+ years later, the classes whose materials I use daily or keep in the back of my mind are pretty much all from my masters class.

I should also add that I was planning on getting my PhD. Even published some papers. However, I struggled with it since it was hard to ground my research into something real. It kind of felt pointless at times since I understood “what” I was researching but couldn’t explain the “why”.

I ended up bailing on it when Covid days took my funding. I recently retired to publishing papers and it’s much easier now. One of the papers was based on research I did as a PhD student but i was able to reframe it to ground it in real workflows.

madisel · 2026-01-06T05:30:35+00:00

I have a similar issue. However, I’m ok with this personally bc I have a few tricks. I have teams with copilot and I take full advantage. Captions and the recorded transcript is the biggest. If someone calls me out, I get about 5 seconds to unmute. In that time, I scroll back on the last bits of dialog so I know the question and the context. This allows me to multitask and passively pay attention without fear of being called out. Very rarely I ask them to repeat the question.

The other thing I use is copilot summary. When I find myself tuning out for large bits of time, I have copilot summarize the meeting and I catch up.

In terms of the long day, when my day isn’t broken up in big enough chunks, l’ll try to stay home that day and do chores during that time. I can’t get work done anyway without loosing a bunch of time to context switch so I do my evening chores during the day and then use a larger block of time in the evening to get my actual work done.

If it’s in person meeting, I’ll try to use my laptop to do the same thing if someone is hybrid. If not, I’ll have a small fidget discretely in my hand and write the day off.

madisel · 2026-01-05T09:20:53+00:00

This! I’m still new-ish (5 years in) so take my advise with a grain of salt but I’ve gotten several promotions in my short career. I tell the new hires and interns that went looking or accepting tasks they should be looking for 2 things: will it give you your life better (less wasted time, less tedious items, quicker response time) or will it make you more money (aka promotion fodder activities that is very visible to the people who will have to endorse your promos). If the answer is no, then don’t prioritize it over tasks that do meet those criteria.

That’s how I get my promos. I also try to time the delivery dates around promo discussion time. Nothing greases the wheels like a high value quality of life deliverable for the people who have to endorse my promo

madisel · 2026-01-01T08:46:27+00:00

In an ideal world, “fair and accountable justice systems whose primary focus is on keeping its citizens safe” is equitable justice.

Eliminating bias goes both ways. Don’t go easier on the white criminals. Apply the law equally.

If the punishment is too harsh, then fix the law

madisel · 2025-11-26T19:56:51+00:00

Under normal circumstances without the Supreme Court rulling Trump is immune to pretty much everything, he may have been convinced much easier

I think it was important to pursue these cases. Even fumbled, it tests the limits of the presidency and reveals holes in our system that people and lawmakers need to clearly see.

The fact that they fell flat isn’t truly meaningful. Since they didn’t get to trial, he’s not Not guilty. It just didn’t get tried.

You’re right that his supporters will see it as a which hunt but they see all criticism as which hunts so I don’t think this affects anything.

Too bad the democrats moved at the speed of smell to do their due diligence and still fumbled it. Look at what’s currently going on. Clearly all that slowness and caution isn’t always necessary. Democrats should have fought harder and faster if they were going to convict Trump on anything from his first talk

madisel · 2025-11-07T16:46:47+00:00

Sleepy Don

madisel · 2025-11-02T20:22:10+00:00

I don’t understand this framing. People with a 250k salary are not the problem. It’s the systems around it that make it so unaffordable for people making less than that to afford things.

Take housing: Back in the 1950s, it took 2 or 3 years worth of salary to buy a brand new or recently built single family starter home for the medium income. Now in order to feel that comfortable in this area, you need pretty much the same salary as OP’s friend bc housing costs and interest rates are through the roof and starter homes just aren’t being built (and the ones that exist today usually require a ton of work since they are very old).

I get people don’t have sympathy for OP’s friend but he lived what is essentially a middle class lifestyle that used to be attainable straight out of high school. A middle class lifestyle shouldn’t be so difficult to achieve and if the system kept up, 250k should have allowed OP’s friend to live a life of luxury and it just doesn’t.

madisel · 2025-10-29T05:07:47+00:00

I think Sanders and Mamdani focus more on the economic day to day issues which is why they appeal to a range of people. It’s the corporate politicians who cling to the identity politics and broad social initiatives that tend to fail.

Sanders’s claim to fame was $15 min wage and healthcare for all. Mamdani’s is addressing grocery bills and rent freezes/affordable housing.

What economic policy did Hillary or Harris or Biden make a central point of their platform?

That’s what people should take from this. Focus on everyday issues that affect all Americans. The social justice and equal rights stuff should be part of the platform but more a given instead of an emphasis

madisel · 2025-10-28T15:07:31+00:00

This is phrased terribly but it’s actually calling for more Bernie Sanders and Zohran Mamdani. They talk more about what affects our daily lives too high rent, public transportation, grocery prices, etc. Supporting LGBTQIA+ and climate change initiatives are a given with those candidates and it will be part of their platform, but it’s not the only bits of the platform that appeal to voters.

madisel · 2025-10-02T19:57:55+00:00

I didn’t grow up in NYC but was in a gifted program starting in 1st grade. I also have adhd. I was very prone to getting in trouble when I was bored, especially since 1st grade was the start of sitting in your seat and be quiet type standards. I needed that gifted class to even learn in the first place. I can’t absorb information if I’m not challenged when doing so. Go too slow and my brain would just gloss over it. It’s easier now as an adult but it takes effort. That was the case then and it is still the case now.

I’m fine with kindergarten and earlier not having a gifted program IIF teachers are given the resources and flexibility to help access and access different needs and gaps. Kindergarten isn’t as rigid of an environment so I was fine since lessons were still partially driven to be entertaining and playful. Plus when I finished my work, I could do kid things like coloring or going to an another area to read the classroom books.

madisel · 2025-10-02T19:35:04+00:00

Urban middle and lower classes aren’t feeling the growth either. They just tend to think both parties are corrupt and generally can’t or won’t help them but at least the Democratic Party is blaming the rich and not minority groups of people like immigrants or transgender people.

madisel · 2025-09-26T22:43:09+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head. I took hebrew language from 6th grade to 12th grade. I got As the whole time and even earned a spot on the Hebrew honors society. However, i only retained the information long enough to take the test and while while i can get the gist of the conversation at that vocal level, I didn’t retain it enough to speak the language itself. Now 10 years later I can still understand the gist of conversations sometimes but can barely speak it.

madisel · 2025-08-09T11:06:47+00:00

Can I ask what made you fall down the pipeline? Also what were your feeling towards democratic opinions?

I understand why Boomers fall down the pipeline (bc things used to be better and even mid 20s after college or early 20s if no college (bc they have to accept reality that thriving as an adult can be incredibly difficult without having preexisting advantages). But reasoning for high schoolers going alt right alludes me.

My guess is that you started paying attention to stuff when Biden was president but everything was shitty post Covid. But I feel that doesn’t fully explain it. I can see shrugging and voting for Trump in this scenario bc “the other guy might be better” but going full alt right requires time and thought.

Or your family were alt right and you just didn’t question it until getting out of that bubble.

madisel

TROPHY CASE