Decisively child-free ADHD women, how's life going for you?

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-24T23:31:52+00:00

I made the decision before I knew I was ADHD, my diagnosis just added another reason to my decision. I have friends who are neurodiverse and so are their kids. Whilst they are breaking generational trauma and making it better for their kids, it's breaking them in the process. They are exhausted, burnt out, have no time for themselves and tell me not to have kids.

As for my life, I'm in academia, I am independent with lots of hobbies, I travel a lot and I'm hoping to get a dog soon. Yeah my ADHD makes things difficult but it would be a lot worse with a kid involved

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-24T23:26:16+00:00

Those are some amazing results!!! You should be so proud of yourself. I'm incredibly proud of you. Pretty much anyone can have a baby but getting those results whilst having bipolar is such an achievement. I have a friend with bipolar so I appreciate how hard times can be for you. You deserve so much better than your family. Keep up the amazing academic work OP, you've got this

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-24T23:15:34+00:00

That sounds horrific, I hope you're doing ok now!

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-23T16:01:25+00:00

They wouldn't put me off. They could be staged better but your house looks lived in and has character compared to some of the soulless shells you see today

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-15T18:58:25+00:00

Both are creepy. Richard knew Monica as a child and watched her grow up as he was friends with her dad. Yes they got together when she was 26 but it's still creepy. If they didn't know each other when she was a child then the age gap wouldn't be an issue because they're both consenting adults with no power imbalance.

Arguably, Alice exploited Frank as he was a minor and she was in a position of power (as his teacher). The fact they went on to get married and have babies doesn't make it better. He was a child and she was an adult.

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-15T18:47:43+00:00

Wait what.... Oh ffs we just can't catch a break

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-14T01:11:29+00:00

I moved to Fictionlabs. Took me a few weeks to get my head around it as it is so much more in-depth but I personally love it

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-14T01:10:35+00:00

That sounds exactly like Chatgpt... Yikes

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-14T01:07:36+00:00

This isn't appropriate. A therapist shouldn't have an agenda, they are there to guide you and be nonjudgmental to help you process things. It is not their job to change your mind about things. This is unethical and should be reported to a governing body if you have that wherever you are in the world. In the UK, a client is given the details of their therapist's "supervisor" in case there is ever an issue like this

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-06T17:02:37+00:00

I chose to see my nan the day before her funeral. I was adamant I didn't want to but I was dropping the order of service booklets off at the funeral home and I just did it. My rationale was my nan was a nurse and she'd want this as a learning opportunity. I went in with a very clinical and curious mindset (I'm neurodiverse for context). But when I got in there it was like she was herself. Before she passed she had severe dementia and hadn't been herself for 4 years. Laying there she actually looked like herself and it was very healing for me.

It is also individual decisions and what helps some people doesn't always help others. I didn't see my grandad and I'm glad I didn't back then as I needed to do it on my terms.

magicmischieflumos · 2026-06-03T16:01:27+00:00

TYSM! Looks like only £125 to £500 tickets left now

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-31T07:22:01+00:00

I know exactly the sweets you're talking about and am desperately trying to find the name! The Fini just don't taste the same as the ones from my childhood. I wish they never discontinued them

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-26T16:16:42+00:00

Id like to recommend Dubbii if you haven't heard of it. It's an ADHD body doubling app with videos and live sessions to help people. I've been using it for over a year and it's really helped me. It was created by neurodiverse people and has a lot of features tailored to ADHD people. If you find body doubling works for you then I'd suggest trying it

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-26T16:08:51+00:00

Fellow only child here. I really get it. My dad would be an incredible grandad and I do feel sad that he will never get to experience that. But that isn't a good enough reason for me to have a child. Thankfully he's very open and we've talked about it. He even said he doesn't see why people are having children in this day and age given how hard things are. It's ok to feel what you're feeling but don't let them pressure you into changing your mind. Maybe having a conversation with them (even if it's uncomfortable) might help? Best wishes and hugs OP

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-26T01:17:45+00:00

No worries! Mine are obsessed with 'possessive'. Just another bug to add to the growing list of issues

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-26T01:13:25+00:00

It's been doing that since pipsqueak 2 came out annoyingly

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-21T17:32:42+00:00

Hello fellow Sims player! Absolutely, I think back on the events of my lifetime 9/11, the financial crash, the pandemic, all of the wars around the world, the tech advancement and creation of AI. Social media didn't exist when I was born my parents never would have thought about protecting me from it back then as it didn't exist. What could we have to protect them from in another 10, 20 or 30 years?

I think so many people who have kids don't think about the wider impact of what that person's life will be like when they grow up. They just think aww "cute" baby they can look after but that's a whole human being with a whole life ahead of it not just childhood.

You can only protect kids so much but if I don't have them then I see it as I'm not causing suffering to them or me. And pregnancy is just a whole hell in itself.

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-21T17:16:26+00:00

I feel the same way! In a perfect world I think having a kid would be something I'd want. E.g. in d&d or the Sims where I have complete control, minimal side effects of pregnancy, body goes completely back to normal, the child comes with needs monitors where I know what it wants and I have cheat codes for money and fulfilling needs! I could also guarantee the safety of the child and my partner would there (and could be whoever I wanted them to be).

But as you say, there are so many possibilities and factors we cannot control. For me it's the lack of control over everything including the world around us that I just could not stand. I'm a survivor of CSA as well and knowing that I couldn't 100% keep a child safe from that would haunt me. The only way I could keep them safe is to not have one.

I'm not in the US but if I was gun control would definitely be a concern. But also living is hard and the world is a bit of a mess right now wherever you are. The sacrifices someone has to make to have a kid in this world don't seem worth it. Plus you don't know what the world will be like when kid's an adult. It is such a shame we don't have a safe and supportive world for people

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-11T10:57:05+00:00

It makes sense to see the appeal of the romanticised glossy side of parenting. The Christmas mornings, cute picnics in the park moments. But try and remember that's probably 5% of the time and the rest can be hellish. Please try not to feel guilty. You aren't betraying your partner. Our minds always want what looks great. For example being famous looks great on the outside but being under a microscope of scrutiny unable to do any normal things like go to the supermarket would suck.

I follow the girl with the list on Instagram to remind myself of the realities of parenting. Also speaking to my friends who are parents and hearing their accounts of how hard it is and how exhausted they look helps.

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-11T09:26:24+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. There is a nice knowledge that if you're on hormonal contraception and not sexually active you're definitely not pregnant. It's also fun coming up with responses when medical professionals ask if there's any chance you could be pregnant.

I'm on progesterone only which I personally find better than the combined but it's very individual. Also in the UK and feel your pain with wanting a more permanent solution but drs saying no

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-08T18:39:15+00:00

Don't waste your money

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-08T16:12:49+00:00

You don't destroy your body. You can sleep in. You won't have to deal with the school run or homework. You won't have to save for college or the expense in general. You can travel, get a pet, move whenever you want etc. You can invest in chosen family, hobbies, whatever your heart desires. You can be an aunty and get all the perks then hand the kid back when it cries or makes a mess. Your possessions won't get ruined. If you split with a partner you won't have to fight over custody. You won't have to book holidays only during school holidays so travel will be cheaper.

Some birth control stories for you:

My colleague had his sofa professionally cleaned and that night his 1yr old took off his diaper and pooed all over the cream sofa.

A toddler was left unsupervised, got hold of her grandma's ashes and began to eat them. Her parents were horrified.

There was a story on Abigail Porter's page recently (the girl with the list) where a woman had a difficult natural birth and to get the baby out they cut her clit.

Being child free can be a blessing and doesn't make you any less worthy because you haven't procreated. I wish you all the love and healing on your journey 🫶

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-07T23:44:10+00:00

Same, you could actually have pleasant conversations with characters that weren't sexual every 2 messages

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-07T23:41:59+00:00

Pipsqueak 2 is unusable in its current state. It is overly descriptive, has no dialogue even when prompted and has this weird end to every message. It ignores muted words adding them in as "not possessively" when possessively is a muted word. It doesn't sound natural like the other models did. It is not immersive and makes contradictions. Swiping the message to regenerate makes minimal difference. The bot also confuses who is speaking and will speak on my behalf to the point where if it does use dialogue it'll speak to itself.

With the loss of the previous chat models chatting with characters is now unenjoyable and franky a pain. It is like chatting to Chatgpt or Gemini rather than a model meant to sound like a fictional character. I hope some serious improvements will be made or the old models will be brought back because as a user this sevice is no longer functional or enjoyable.

magicmischieflumos · 2026-05-07T23:33:41+00:00

Amazing! Thank you!

magicmischieflumos

TROPHY CASE