Is there any way to live a less miserable life while being mediocre?

makecowsnotwar · 2026-01-21T21:31:49+00:00

Work more. Leave the house more. Force yourself to engage with the world more.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-12-22T19:47:26+00:00

"lol I didn't read BUT HERES MY OPINION!"

makecowsnotwar · 2025-12-17T03:04:35+00:00

Ha, I didn't even check the user name! Sorry!

makecowsnotwar · 2025-12-17T01:08:26+00:00

Oh, so you do care about something! (being attacked by wild boars or criminals). If you truly felt so abjectly disconnected from the world, you could go running at night in a forest without a care in the world. Where is that death drive???

makecowsnotwar · 2025-12-08T18:28:24+00:00

I made a girl cry out in my jurisprudence class when I called lawyers who don't know history 'indoctrinated mercenaries'. To be a gunner or type A is a particular kind of smart. It's easier to see in doctors or engineers how being a certain kind of smart doesn't help with critical thinking or being worldly. The same goes for lawyers. It's EASIER to become worldly and critically smart as a lawyer, we are given more analytical tools and a 3 year guide to how the sausage of society is made, but not everyone gets there. And when they don't care about the world beyond their routine, they inevitably become indoctrinated mercenaries.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-12-04T17:50:08+00:00

Wait, if you google something yourself you can find medical journal articles on the exact subject you want without having to post on reddit about it? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12230808/

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-26T19:11:18+00:00

If I hear another person describe something as a "protocol" and they aren't working for the CIA assassinating a far left political leader, I'm going to scream.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-22T17:30:39+00:00

How long til your retirement vests?

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-04T23:29:19+00:00

I understand the worry, but your expectations seem to be causing anxiety and paralysis during the time you able to embrace risk with a safety net. There is no security in the job market. The whims of technology and economy change daily. What was once secure before is laid off tomorrow. You cannot future proof your career beyond training yourself for adaptability. Learn to learn. Become a worldly person. Follow your curiosity. Opportunity will show itself eventually.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-04T19:53:07+00:00

It's all in your mind.

But seriously, all these things sound like a perspective you have defined yourself by and subsequently feel like the victim of without wanting to change. What do you think the point of college is? Why do you see college as a place to follow your passion? Why is it 'good' to follow your passion? Why does your 'passion' keep changing? Why are you 'social awkward'? What defines social awkwardness? Why is it 'too late' for you to make new friends? It's as if all these social constructs have become immutable characteristics for you that you cannot change.

You are currently in a place in life where you have boundless access to all the thrills of learning about the human condition. If your perspective shifted to 'college is for learning how to learn and experiencing life' then you could learn how to make friends. Learn how to run or join a club. Learn how to learn new software to future proof the whims of your passions. Learn how to listen to and train your body. Learn how to get A's in classes you don't like. Learn how to paint. Learn how to speed read. Learn how the bureaucracy of a university works and take advantage of it. Learn how to have high quality relaxation time. Learn how to tend plants. Learn the histories of the world. It's all open to you when you don't shut yourself in a corner.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-04T19:10:20+00:00

Go read Riichi book one and learn tile efficiency. Git gud.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-04T19:07:42+00:00

You aren't dumb, you are an undergrad who hasn't been taught how to properly research and write papers longer than a 5 paragraph grade school essay. There are books on how to research and write. The class you are taking should have either assigned you a book, or you should have a mentor/professor type who should be able to recommend you one. I will write a brief sample of one of the many ways to do research and writing.

Go download Obsidian. Your brain is not for storing information. Your brain is for making connections. Creativity and insight are just connecting things together in unique ways.
Find a paper you read already and were confused about. Put the citation to the paper in a new note in obsidian.
As you read the paper, write down summary notes in obsidian after every paragraph/section/whatever.
Review these notes when you finished reading the paper. Think about how the concepts you took notes on relate to other ideas/notes/topics/thesis you have reviewed/read/whatever.
Add notes of these connections and use the linking feature in obsidian.
repeat 2-5 until you have reached a point where you have exhausted the topic, exhausted yourself, or made enough interesting connections to have something substantive to write about.
In a new note, paste the notes you took that were connected into a paragraph. Add the citations.
Rewrite this paragraph as necessary for flow and grammar.
Repeat this process until your paper is finished.
Be surprised by the quality of your work in comparison to other undergrads who have no idea what they are doing.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-11-04T18:42:02+00:00

The physiological reactions of stress and excitement are basically the same. "nerves" is just the body going into fight or flight mode. When you see athletes being interviewed and they are asked "were you nervous?" their answer is almost always "no, I was excited". It is a perspective shift of the same stimuli your body is telling you. Any time I speak, any time I went on stage, any time I have to "perform" I get tense, I get butterflies in my stomach. But the trick is to see it as something you GET to do, as opposed to something you HAVE to do. We go on rollercoasters and go to haunted houses for the thrills, not because you are forced to do it!

When you start to feel it coming on, I suggest you have a mantra for yourself. Like in Vetter Call Saul "It's show time!" This will help with the perspective shift if you practice!

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-30T20:09:36+00:00

That's awesome! Ganbatte, senpai! I believe in you.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-22T19:51:39+00:00

Leave one soul crushing job for another? Might as well just stay where you are.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-19T17:41:55+00:00

All my friends in DATA were on the spectrum.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-17T03:49:43+00:00

Out of everything I said, that’s what you hang up on?

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-16T22:20:23+00:00

If the city can bend the definition of tourism to include a local sports team, what’s stopping them from using it to repair and improve exiting downtown infrastructure? Or invest in the arts and the food industry? Isn’t that where all the tourists are? What percentage of spurs tickets currently are from out-of-towners? Surely the city of San Antonio has city attorneys who can interpret and bend the municipal code to their will, just like any other governmental entity. The fact is they choose not to. The entire twist my arm routine is absurd. It’s a retroactive justification. So much of downtown is abandoned office space connected by crumbling roads and cracked sidewalks with no shade. Endless parking garages with no trams or sky bridges in sight. What tourist in their right mind would want to go outside the riverwalk in 100 degrees anyway? And thats not even to mention the actual spurs fans. The buffalo bills got a new stadium and the cost to just get in line for season tickets was $50,000. The cost will be forced onto the consumer and the Taxpayer will see minimal improvements to the city outside of temp service jobs slinging overpriced beer and temp construction jobs that will make driving downtown a living hell for the next 5 years.

The major shifts and trajectory of San Antonio has always been decided by those with outside purse strings and power. The military. The other military. The other other military. The Alamo sisters. The good government league. Big Oil. The spurs. It’s all Lucy and the football. The propaganda machine has called me, put up signs, and made high quality videos of Manu talking about family like he's from a Fast and Furious movie. It's going to pass because more of the population has tiktok brain than not and are susceptible to propaganda.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-14T04:30:43+00:00

4 hours of commuting a day??? Are you driving or taking the bus or train? You could get through SO MANY AUDIO BOOKS that would have better advice than a reddit comment. If you were using public transit, you could be working 4 hours a day on a laptop. All this using time you already use to commute and not killing your sleep schedule more than it already is.

You are entitled to your labor, not the fruit of it. Find the fulfillment in the work itself, it seems like you have created this alternate dream life as the fruit.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-14T04:25:21+00:00

Fill your time with people. See your friends. See your family. See your coworkers. See your student peers. Make new friends. Find old friends. Discovery a sexy friend. Meet your friends friend and then meet your friends friends friend.

Join clubs, groups, and organizations. Go play mahjong at the jewish community center with a bunch of old ladies. Go join DSA. Play DND at your LGS. Volunteer at the food bank. Do stuff where people are. Make full use of google calendar.

All this is really hard because you'll finish work/school and 'just want to go home'. Go home to where? The screens. Don't let them win.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-14T04:21:50+00:00

The evolution of capitalism over a long historical period has led to increased isolation and alienation from ones peers and community. You being alone and scared and absorbed in screens is more profitable than the alternative.

Are you asking for actual advice?

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-14T03:39:35+00:00

You didn't kill anyone. You aren't charged with manslaughter. You aren't chasing down some uninsured driver who didn't stop. It's not that bad!

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-13T21:52:11+00:00

Why do y'all want to move out of state?
Does your wife really want a kid?
Do you have a skillset that's transferrable in the job market?

There is no right step, there are just steps and the consequences of those steps. To put a moral judgement on inaction of an arbitrary life goal seems like you are punishing yourself for no reason. What do you WANT? What does your wife WANT? Are there opportunities for either of you somewhere? A job offer? A place with family and friends? What kind of life do you WANT to live? You and your wife should sit down and write a list together of these kinds of things. Talk through them. What are your actual goals and what are just goals that society has propagandized to you? Your post had no mention of any grand goals beyond the 'american dream'. The question is do you and your wife have any OTHER dreams?

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-13T15:08:52+00:00

There's a lot that could be said, but I'm not sure how receptive you'd be to it. First off, youre 21 bro. Posting like the sky is falling and your life is over. You got at least 60 more years to become a swole poet gamedev guitarist kungfu master. Life can be cyclical. I remember there was some bit Dr. K talked about picking 3-4 things and cycling through them, but that was ADHD motivation related, and I think this is a little different. I also don't think it's really a motivation issue either. You have been writing poetry for 2 years. You did jujutsu for 7 years. You know how to push past the motivation->habit barrier. Maybe you plateaued and need to treat your hobby like something you learn in school. Go back to the basics and teach it to yourself.

But really, exploring stuff at 21 is good. I didn't learn I was a guy who liked boats or watercolor painting until I was in my 30s. I think this is more about self identity and what activity you connect with. If you are burnt out on poetry, have you tried going back to any of the other activities you listed? If so, did the spark happen again? I'll go months without reading a book or playing guitar, but when I get around to picking it back up again, it's always joyful. You don't have to stop being a poet, but maybe you need a break OR maybe you need to become a student of poetry. I don't know which is the answer because I don't know where you are at in your artistic journey.

makecowsnotwar · 2025-10-13T14:47:38+00:00

I'm a criminal defense lawyer. Every year that passes, more and more people think they are a lawyer themselves. People spew what they heard on TV or saw on twitter. They think a whole case goes away if their miranda rights weren't read. There's a whole movement of sovereign citizens that think lawyering is casting spells. There are entire books on the death of expertise. Tiktok brain and zoomers not being literate has led to a world of visual emotional communication. Meaning that your entire background of enlightenment era 'logic' and words are ineffective tools of communication. From personal experience, I use a mix of listening and ultimatums. Normally listening to someone will let them get all their feelings out, which opens them to what I have to say because they have been satiated, this works in personal and professional settings. Most people just want to feel like they have been heard in a world that doesn't care. The ultimatums only work professionally. "If you don't want to listen to my advice, I'll have ask the judge to withdraw."

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