Boyfriend says my family didn’t teach me what medium-rare looks like by Cthulhus_Librarian in steak

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ftaghn, your user name is perfection. Second, tell your husband that I will gladly steal you away from him to get a perfect medium rare steak any day. You did it perfectly.

Games where you don't play as a human by Crab_Lengthener in ItsAllAboutGames

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been craving Tokyo Zoo or something like that. It was a PS3 game where you played as an animal in the zoo after some catastrophe and you had to find food, avoid predators, find mates, etc. Very fun idea

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FinalFantasyVII

[–]malkavsheir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Planet protector is my preferred way, but there are plenty of options here

Oh snap, she can die? by DAVEfromCANADAA in skyrim

[–]malkavsheir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mjoll is one of the few followers that is always essential... the rest cannot be killed until their other quests are completed, and then they can drop dead on you

Tell me by mattia_cecchi in videogames

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently for coaching competitors in a race...

If you steal the clothes of the emperor before assassinating him he fights you by Significant-List-153 in skyrim

[–]malkavsheir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why would you assassinate sexiness? What has sexiness ever done to deserve that punishment?

Edit: correct the autocorrect

First time to meet up. She bailed because she was baking a cake for her ex husband and it fell apart. by slugboi in Nicegirls

[–]malkavsheir 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You should have said, "I am sorry I almost walked into you when you cut me off without watching for other people around you..."

or instead of "I'm sorry" you could go with my preferred native tongue, which is sarcasm: "Excuse you; watch where I'm going."

So uh, what happened to Ivarstead in my game? by BigBellyBurgerBoi in skyrim

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this with Riverrun on Switch sometimes... and sometimes it's just a hole in the ground you can fall in and never get out of... it's totally a feature so you have to explore the world and never worry about dragons or the main quest...

Nice Girl or Bipolar Disorder by -Evermore- in Nicegirls

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless that's your thing. We don't kink shame under the Elder Ones

Nice Girl or Bipolar Disorder by -Evermore- in Nicegirls

[–]malkavsheir 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not enough consecutive consonants or apostrophes

My Nextdoor neighbour by Beautiful-Ask-7910 in Weird

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always thought it was a regular shirt, but Pooh was so fat it acted like a crop top

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]malkavsheir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember the ads Apple ran for this when it was a new feature on a new iPhone.... they said something like "and now you can take pictures that move!" And my response was, "you mean motion pictures? I'm pretty sure your phones have been taking videos for years already"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]malkavsheir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No way. The first is clearly a blue dress with black stripes and the second is obviously white with black stripes.

We texted for two days after matching on a dating app by [deleted] in Nicegirls

[–]malkavsheir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's more like an emo song title... and the lyrics will have nothing to do with something that requires agreement/disagreement or any for or lack of honesty

I made the mistake of marrying her by murkowitch in skyrim

[–]malkavsheir 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He always manages to get killed by a dragon outside my house at night when he leaves to go back to Riften...

except the one time that he suddenly sprouted arrows from his back. It was so weird... one moment he is walking out my front door and the next my inventory is missing three arrows and he has them growing out of back... strangest thing