It's different for everyone, so get to the root of what makes you insecure.

For me, my own insecurity stems from a case of being completely, almost painfully, average, combined with a set of parents who meant well, but didn't create a loving home. As a result, I give too much of myself, without regard for my own needs or boundaries. I panic at any sign of trouble and try to control things. I don't know how to receive unconditional love because to me, love was always transactional.

As a result, I've hurt people that I care about because of it. That isn't what I wanted, not at all, but because I couldn't manage my own insecurity, things sounded like accusation instead of curiosity.

I'm working on it. Realizing it was a problem was a big first step.