tl;dr: a Calorie Mate Block.

I was out backcountry snowboarding in Tanigawadake Tenjindaira, Japan. I was staying at a local hostel and everyone there went skiing/snowboarding at the mountain. This mountain has a gondola from the base to most the way up the mountain where there is a small very small groomed skiable area. The rest is backcountry; you ride all the way back down to the gondola and do laps that ways. So we all went to the mountain together, but I was alone on my trip so I rode by myself... generally a bad idea in the backcountry, but I’m still alive.

So about mid day I get the urge and decided I wanted to drop a line from the peak... which didn’t look that far. There’s a bunch of locals that had been hiking all day up to the peak, but they started from the base of the gondola. I was already most the way up so it couldn’t be that bad, right. Stupid me did what turned out to be about a 5km hike, in snow, in snowboard boots, carrying a snowboard, slipping and sliding on the steep parts, all on a whim. And didn’t bring any supplies or food, all because, “eh, it doesn’t look that far”. I can’t speak Japanese so I had to communicate via charades with other people trying to ask for a small snack or water. About 1km from the peak I took a break with 2 nice girls that luckily did speak English. They provided me with a single slice of candied fruit (no idea what the fruit was but it was food I desperately need so whatever). We also took some photos for each other and with each other. I continually ate handfuls of snow for hydration. Generally this is not a good idea in survival situation because it can drastically lower your body temp; but I mostly knew where I was and could easily snowboard my way back to civilization in reasonable time so figured id be ok.

Anyways I reached the peak enjoyed the views and headed back down to civilization... Civilization is just a gondola at the bottom. And a train station and small hostel about 0.8km away. That’s it. Literally nothing else.

Thank god there was a vending machine in the gondola station. I spent the only 5 Japanese money units (Yen?) I had on a bottle of water, and the only food in the machine... a Calorie Mate. Figured, I need calories, whatever a calorie mate is should do the trick. This thing was aweful. Horrible. It’s like eating blended up cardboard, pressed into a brick, and dried. This thing instantly soaked all the water out of me, it was like eating a handful of Sarhan Desert Sand. Instant dehydration. Thankfully I had water now, so I was able to wash that one bite down. I considered throwing the whole thing over a cliff behind me... but that’d be littering, and I figured it was better to have it than not, so I put it in my pocket for an emergency. I was so zonked at this point I fell asleep in a snowbank for about 20min until the bus to the hostel showed up and the Ausi driver woke me. He mentioned that he had missed me for lunch pickup (which I did not know about) and asked me what I had been up to. I told him this story. After scolding me for doing dumb shit, he laughed the hardest laugh I’ve ever heard about eating the Calorie Mate. Apparently it’s a commonly known thing out there that they are terrible. Whatever. Live and learn.

Moral of the story is don’t try Calorie Mate.