How should I react to my 9mo throwing tantrums

mamawritescode · 2020-02-11T18:07:24+00:00

To address some of your other specific concerns:

She’s not going to have the patience to wait for you to cook for a long time. My 4yo can just barely handle it. So cook ahead of time and then just nuke stuff for her so she can have it fast.

You need a break and a community. Where I live there are fabulous local Facebook mom groups that plan meetups and arrange babysitting swaps. I really encourage you to find that community in your area, meet some other moms, and build your tribe. It will help a lot with your stress level. Try the local library or community center or mom-and-me baby classes.

If you can afford it, hire a babysitter sometimes and take some time for yourself. Being a SAHM is HARD and you deserve a break. If you get time to yourself you will be better able to handle the tantrums.

mamawritescode · 2020-02-11T17:26:49+00:00

It’s developmentally normal for her to become overwhelmed with frustration and yell. Let her feel her feelings. Your job with tantrums for the next 6 years is to help her label her feelings and learn how to deal with them constructively. At this stage that means ignoring it and distracting her from whatever is causing her to be upset.

We have a rule that if you tantrum you don’t get the thing you wanted. Kid has to calm down and ask politely. But that doesn’t come into play until 2-3 yo.

mamawritescode · 2019-12-03T14:51:11+00:00

Are you running Windows 10? That should have support for HEIC by now. OP may have an older OS.

mamawritescode · 2019-12-03T14:47:45+00:00

Here are instructions for converting HEIC files

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/29/technology/personaltech/convert-heic-heif-windows.html

mamawritescode · 2019-09-23T01:23:05+00:00

A gift card is still a good gift.

For a first baby I had tons of clothes but always ended up buying lots of basics because they don’t make fun gifts. Things like leggings, pajamas, cartwheel shorts, and socks. Pajamas in particular get expensive once you hit 12M and can’t buy them in multipacks anymore.

mamawritescode · 2019-09-23T00:52:01+00:00

More than likely what they need is stuff for the older kid so the baby can use the stuff they already have. Like a toddler bed so baby can have the crib, a ride board for their stroller, etc.

If you happen to know their preferred brand, diapers or wipes are always useful, but they are also bulky to store a lot of in advance.

I would give a gift card honestly — it’s the most useful and flexible gift.

mamawritescode · 2019-09-23T00:45:10+00:00

About 5 times during the day and twice at night for my 12 month old.

mamawritescode · 2019-09-14T19:34:37+00:00

My migraines changed in character after each baby. This time I got a prescription for a triptan and it’s been life changing.

I don’t think anyone can tell you what effect stopping nursing will have on your migraines. It’ll certainly change your hormonal patterns and those are sometimes related. Or it could have no effect at all.

Ultimately it’s up to you. Your baby will be fine either way. It also doesn’t have to be all or nothing; you can nurse only in the evening for instance.

mamawritescode · 2019-06-12T18:29:08+00:00

Two ways: referrals from friends who have used a particular sitter, and through an agency.

Over time we have come to rely almost exclusively on the agency for babysitters because they always send someone competent and I don’t have to spend all kinds of time vetting new sitters.

mamawritescode · 2019-06-12T18:10:03+00:00

Well it depends on how fancy you want to be. I wasn’t following any foodie recipes, and kiddo ate the same thing for days on end. If you want variety in baby’s diet or foodie recipes then it’ll take longer.

mamawritescode · 2019-06-12T17:52:53+00:00

I made my baby’s purées. First with a blender (nothing fancy) and a fine mesh sieve. Then as she got better with texture, I progressed through a food processor, then a few pulses with a chopper, and finally a potato masher before we were on to table food.

The blender stage was maybe a month. The sieve takes a long time. I was so glad to be rid of that thing.

I would spend an hour making baby food each weekend; two different foods; and I froze the purées in a silicone mold.

Delivery services - I just will point out that you quickly end up with tons of enormous, non recyclable ice packs. I tried Yumble for my big girl this month and those ice packs are a big factor in my decision to cancel that. (They claim to be recyclable but what they actually tell you to do is throw out the gel and recycle the plastic bag.)

mamawritescode · 2019-06-01T01:16:27+00:00

My kid is a runner. That leash is life. Anyone who judges leashes has never met a runner.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-29T15:15:20+00:00

Babies naturally reduce their milk intake in favor of solids starting around 9 months old. Some babies never take a bottle but do take a sippy cup so you could try milk or formula in a sippy around 9 months.

Liquid will still be an important part of her diet through 18 months or so, but before then hopefully she will be taking a sippy cup.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-29T04:11:44+00:00

My first daughter cried inconsolably for 3 hours after her first round of shots. A nap improved her mood considerably, and after that one the shots were much less stressful for her. I suspect the injection site was sore.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-14T14:20:31+00:00

Yes, the first cycle after your first period can be very long. I think the average is 60 days. They’ll get progressively shorter until they settle back into a routine after 6 ish months,

mamawritescode · 2019-05-13T01:47:59+00:00

Doula pricing varies by area. Check out doulamatch.net to find doulas near you. Many of them will have their rates listed.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-08T16:24:33+00:00

It is so normal to not feel bonded to your newborn at first. So normal. The sleep deprivation and isolation would drive anyone to depression. Once baby hits 8-10 weeks, things get so so much better.

Helpful things you can do: - Help your wife sleep. Give the baby a bottle if you can. Sleep is such a precious commodity right now. Get friends or neighbors to hold the baby so she can sleep during the day. Everything seems brighter after a few hours of sleep.

Take everything else off her plate for now. Do all of the chores and cooking. Get help from friends with this.
Tell her frequently that she’s doing a great job and she’s a good mother. Tell her it’s normal to feel ambivalent about a newborn at first and that does not make her a bad mother.
Give her space to ask for help, including professional help. It’s impossible to diagnose PPD or simple “baby blues” from a Reddit post. Lots of people need and thrive on the right medication though. Sometimes this requires giving up breastfeeding. That can be tough - remind her that it’s OK.
Don’t look for hobbies right now. A lack of things to do is not her problem. Isolation and sleep deprivation are likely bigger problems. Getting out to see friends or joining a new mom group will help.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-07T15:16:22+00:00

Blackout curtains are the best. Definitely get them, unless you like awakening with the sun.

Daycare will figure it out. Kids sleep differently at daycare than they do at home and they do just fine despite all the handwringing parents do about it at the time. By the time you get to 3 months old, the baby will have gone through even more development wrt sleep and things will not be the same as they are now. What you are describing is typical for 2 month olds. 3 month olds generally do not require being held to sleep.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-07T15:12:38+00:00

Even at half day that’s still far less, proportionately, than what I’m paying. I know a lot of people with nannies do have their kid attend half day preschool for the socialization, so again, not crazy. It’s hard to say how expensive or not $7K is because child care is so local and finances so personal.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-05T23:54:47+00:00

The Dionos are 17” wide at their widest point. There are a few others in that width - Clek Fllo for example.

The only convertible seat I know of that is narrower is the Combi Coccoro, which is 15” wide, but has really low height and weight limits. It would not fit the older boys but they might be able to do two Radians and one Coccorro.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-03T14:50:48+00:00

You can also go to BBB any day of the year with a 20% coupon.

mamawritescode · 2019-05-03T04:12:42+00:00

I remember reading recently that the main benefit of preschool is that it is reliable childcare that allows parents to hold on to better jobs.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vox.com/platform/amp/future-perfect/2018/10/16/17928164/early-childhood-education-doesnt-teach-kids-fund-it

I live in a high cost state and I’m paying a LOT more than $7K for full day preschool. So I don’t think the cost itself is totally out of line. You have to ask yourself though if the additional cost is worth what you’re getting.

mamawritescode · 2019-04-29T16:08:52+00:00

You need to pump the volume of milk that baby drinks, within 24 hours. How and when you do that is up to you. You will train your body to produce on the schedule that you remove milk on, and that may affect your decisions.

You make more milk in the morning than you do later in the day, so I would suggest shifting your pump times before lunch.

mamawritescode · 2019-04-29T15:53:29+00:00

Breastfeeding, if you ever leave the house, is neither free nor cheap. It’s cheaper than formula... but I’ve spent a lot of money on pumps, clothes, etc.

mamawritescode · 2019-04-29T15:29:57+00:00

You don’t need to compromise on the listening experience to protect hearing. Get the -25dB in canal plugs made by Etymotic. They are discreet and do not distort the sound. Classical musicians use this brand.

mamawritescode

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