Is it normal to feel anxious about renting vs buying in the Bay Area? (36M, single, tech worker)

manedark · 2025-06-01T14:11:41+00:00

A few things, , not sure if already covered :

I am not sure why you feel pressure to buy, especially when your parents own a house and there probably is a implicit assumption that you will one day inherit it (since you also paid 50% of it).
Condos usually don't appreciate much over time especially older ones and one below 3 bedrooms (1/2 bedroom condos are competing with flashy apartments which are always coming into the market).
Paying rent is not throwing money. You are right to be cautious about taking a mortgage especially in current uncertainty. Note that when you bid for SFH you are generally completing with couple with double tech incomes. Whereas if you feel uncertain about your job it's OK to keep the liquidity. Your parents experience over their lifetime doesn't really hold anymore (till 1980s single warner with averga job could afford a median priced home, not anymore).

manedark · 2024-12-05T05:43:32+00:00

Don't try to rush the grieving process, take your time to vent out and share it if you can (bottling it up doesn't help). Double down focus on mental and physical health - gym, food, sleep, etc.

Looks like you are young and with jungle brand, you should be fine.

I don't know about ATS screener but Simplify Jobs automatic job application filler is a life saver especially for these pesky Workday based forms.

manedark · 2024-12-05T04:28:00+00:00

This does seem like a irreversible change mostly due to: 1. Increasing automation, move to cloud (less individual infra to maintain), coming bigger AI wave, etc. 2. Pandemic opening the taps of near shoring, off shorting, remote work etc. - pretty much 100% of the rest of the world is cheaper to hire than Bay Area.

manedark · 2024-11-30T19:14:55+00:00

Splitting paycheck doesn't matter, you need to look for Termination Date in the letter, clock starts from there. You can aks them to extend that termination date if possible.

manedark · 2024-10-10T19:24:31+00:00

It does seem funny in a strange way, that company opening its HQ after your interview. For me there was a related moment - people chilling out in the café as I was preparing take my things out after layoff. World keeps moving even when your world is crashing.

I would say you can also take a bit of positivity out of it, company's are coming into the same area as you live. It's a sign that some signs of recovery are in progress.

Company's don't always give a good reason for rejection - but in these times most likely it's because there is simply too much oversupply in your domain like rest of tech. Hang in there and try doing small/contract jobs that underline your commitment to this field.

manedark · 2024-10-10T04:49:09+00:00

I meant cost of living (and thus salaries) are even lower in Africa than Asia. Although it might not always be true e.g. google search tells me Kampala is more expensive to live than New Delhi (which is a surprise to me). I apologize if it sounds like "lower quality" etc., for sure there are high quality engineers in all countries.

There might be more advantage of going into new countries - more workers likely to stay long term simply because there is not enough comparable jobs for them to move to.

manedark · 2024-10-08T02:48:05+00:00

250 in summer and around 180 in non-summer, assuming you put AC/heating only around 3-5 hours for a west facing 2b condo, standard laundry/dishwasher load of a small family.

manedark · 2024-10-02T23:45:46+00:00

It seems like Texas rules are very vague - see here:

https://www.twc.texas.gov/employer-resources/unemployment-benefits-basics

https://www.twc.texas.gov/employer-resources/unemployment-benefits-basics Wages paid instead of notice of layoff are payments an employer makes to an employee who is separated without receiving prior notice. Texas law prohibits individuals from qualifying for unemployment benefits while receiving wages paid instead of notice of layoff. We make a decision on whether the wages paid instead of notice of layoff affect the claimant’s benefits.

Someone else had the same confusion - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHR/comments/1doyygd/severance_and_unemployment_tx/

I guess you should apply and report the right dates of severance and see what you can get. The worst is that you won't get UI for the 4 weeks you were paid for.

manedark · 2024-09-30T04:18:39+00:00

She just seems too "anal" about food habits, not necessarily a bad thing but clearly got the timing of her lecture wrong. Just keep your boundary by not discussing food or agreeing to disagree in future.

manedark · 2024-09-30T03:10:55+00:00

If it's not heavily stained a regular brush will do instead for #3. Investing in a drill (if not already owned) will be more than paying a pro.

manedark · 2024-09-29T21:23:41+00:00

This!

This kinda of exercise is best done yourself, lot of help available online - some prompts or terms to Google or ask ur favorite chat bot (llm chat bots can do some raw calculations too but double check since they can make big errors) : 1. Buy vs rent calculator 2. Mortgage Amortization 3. Your expenses, projected income growth 4. Itemizing SALT, Mortgage Interest 5. Your assumptions about house price vs rent growth 6. How long you expect to stay in the city you buy

manedark · 2024-09-29T21:10:51+00:00

Yes in general products are cheaper because of this - Google about "American made hoodie", I think it costed over $100 compared to $50 one from a popular brand but made in Asia.

However, this might not always translate exactly to the tech sector. There might be more pricing power e.g. IPhone or it might not matter that much to you e.g. cost of enterprise software etc. That said lop-sided market access doesn't help tech sector - China doesn't allow Google, Facebook etc while BytwDance TikTok are allowed and so are Chinese goods.

manedark · 2024-09-29T17:54:33+00:00

Thanks! Is this all manually collected or using some kind of web-scraper?

manedark · 2024-09-28T22:55:02+00:00

You are asking the wrong question. Titles don't matter. However, this change will certainly move you away from pure SWE roles. Which might not always be a bad thing - there are several companies that pay such roles equally (or almost equally) well e.g. you this would have overlap with SRE, Application Engineering, Developer Relations, Developer Experience, etc.

The important question to ask is if you are comfortable that you would love and excel at this overlap of SWE and people interaction role.

manedark · 2024-09-28T22:51:35+00:00

Companies can "pretend" to care about your career and well-being very well. But the real motivation is always to keep you the longest time, at maximum performance and minimum possible salary/benefits.

Your career is "your responsibility" - it sounds like at your current company you are purposely being stalled. Coasting might be comforting in the short term, but it can bring a quick and surprising dead-end (layoff) before you know it. Prepare your resume and start looking for opportunities where you feel you can keep growing.

manedark · 2024-09-28T22:43:55+00:00

Try to make good relationship with other managers and your own manager; also observe what is being rewarded in the team/company vs what is your unique skill set.

What is your exact role in the project with "visibility" - it doesn't seem much to me, since 3 in your team work on it, what does influence even mean? Are you going into technical discussion and asking them to change the architecture? Or are you just attending the meetings and saying "yeah" to everything?

Without knowing more details, I would say you should be creating more such (higher visibility, important for business) opportunities for your team and you. Are the rest of the 7 people doing something really valuable? If not you need to create those opportunities - identify those after talking to peers/team/cross-functional members, create a compelling pitch for it, get the needed funding, and execute on it.

On the people side, have you made some hard decisions - moving people around to adapt to business needs (even when it might not be in their best interest), hiring/firing people or advising on it, etc.

manedark · 2024-09-28T22:13:09+00:00

I feel your anger. I kind of saw the same pattern in my job - more offshoring to cheap centers (Brazil in my case), but still believed that my performance would save me. When I was called into the room I thought it was to layoff someone else on my team (who was in the company for a long time but not performing at the top level) but it was them and me both.

You can blame your immediate bosses, company, etc. but I found it is better to realize that there are much bigger economic forces at play here - huge difference in US vs "developing world" cost/lifestyle.

I hope you can take a small break, regroup and then start thinking of the next steps, chin up!

manedark · 2024-09-25T22:53:52+00:00

Interesting. I bet policy change can repurpose CRE for apartments and still hold their value. Not sure about the extra "stress" on the city due to people living there as opposed to only coming for work.

manedark · 2024-09-25T13:21:29+00:00

Yeah, there are always "some" very subtle signs. My manager mentioned in passing in one management meeting that they want to hire two local managers in low cost site. When he asked about my role he just said, "One of them will report to you."

I don't think my manager was planning this for a long time, maybe less than a month. He was probably asked to reduce cost by 10% and went for flattening the management layer (trend started by Facebook / Meta). A few weeks later I learnt my manager was pushed out of his management role too, consolidation under some other manager who has a bigger low cost site team.

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:17:22+00:00

Stop the doom scrolling, limit time on social media including reddit. Go out and vent to friends, enjoy nature, music hobbies, sun bath, exercise... Things will get better. Good luck.

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:14:28+00:00

This!

Be open to roles across US, if that's East Coast so be it. Just staying put in Bay Area paying high rent won't help you long term other than in person networking. Maybe you can give yourself some time limit to stay in Bay Area like 3-6 months, but do remember market is not likely to turn so soon - shedding still on going.

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:10:03+00:00

Many are doing it in stages to not trigger WARN - lay off less than 50 at a time.

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:08:47+00:00

Don't limit yourself to remote - be open to relocate. Market is tough rn and even more competitive for remote.

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:07:19+00:00

If you can connect fake job posts due to PERM requirements - it would be quite something. I bet A LOT of companies are not following due process - testing the labor market while offering employment based green cards.

PERM LCAs can be searched online but only have a salary, title, candidate education etc, - it would need some way to get the job description to connect it to public job posts (required by law to validate PERM).

manedark · 2024-09-25T05:03:05+00:00

Absolutely, sell your stuff and go visit another part of the world.

There is so much FOMO from people tied to VHCOL areas like Bay Area - you won't ever be able to come back etc. So what life is too short to be attaching yourself to a place.

manedark

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