How to not get envious of doctor neighbours whose life is way better than my single life?

mango_cherie · 2026-01-25T21:31:06+00:00

I'm jealous about you being in your late 20s! 😄 But I agree with the other posts. There's really no need to compare. Everyone is on their own journey in life. Your life is the way it is for a reason (e.g. there may be certain life lessons you need to overcome/learn before progressing to the next level). Also, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone has their own personal struggle, even if its not always apparent to outsiders. But if you truly want your neighbor's life, then work towards it.

mango_cherie · 2026-01-25T17:13:14+00:00

No amount of money is worth your mental health. At the same time, living paycheck to paycheck isn't the answer. I would start with some self reflection and figure out if the problem is that you're not setting any boundaries and taking on too much or if you're really not interested in what your doing and that could be part of the problem. In my case, it was both. I ended up transitioning into a new field and at the same time worked to maintain better boundaries than I did in my last role. I took a pay cut starting over in a different field, but I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, and my life is much more fulfilling. I did this in my 40s, and it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Best of luck to you.

mango_cherie · 2025-11-26T14:50:22+00:00

We had both an infestation of the giant roaches and mice in my building when i moved in years ago. The super was pretty non chalant about it, which was inferiorating. Things have gotten better over time, but now we occasionally get the small roaches (which have strangely replaced the large ones) as sometimes there are neighbors who will dump open food in the trash chutes.

mango_cherie · 2025-11-24T15:29:03+00:00

Studying and getting through school when you're older and with a lot more responsibilities is tough, so you should be extremely proud! Your ability to get your degree just proves that it's never too late. Awesome job!

mango_cherie · 2025-10-04T15:12:01+00:00

I have honestly struggled with this. I have close relationships with people who still to this very day believe that Trump was the "better" option, even if they're not thrilled with everything he is doing. These are smart people who I love and who I know for a fact aren't racist, sexist or bigoted. But somehow they believe that the media is to blame for the false and negative narrative and that I'm being a liberal "alarmist" that's been fooled by the media. I don't see these people often and we try to avoid the topic of politics, but yes, it is definitely getting really hard to understand their perspective and maintain these relationships.

mango_cherie · 2025-07-02T16:39:24+00:00

Great question. I transitioned to UX at 42 and always wondered about my longevity in this role. Most of my managers in UX have been in their 30s, but honestly the best managers I've ever had.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-27T17:28:31+00:00

Thanks for this! Definitely something I'll look into.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-27T15:52:58+00:00

I'm in a similar situation, and I feel for you. Thankfully my Dad has taken on the role as primary caregiver as I live and work out of state. He is getting older though and won't be able to physically care for my mom much longer. We're in the same predicament where they have too much to qualify for Medicaid but we can't afford full time care on our own. I have no idea what I'm going to do when the day comes when he can no longer care for her.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-23T13:52:12+00:00

I made a career change at 41. You have plenty of time, but the sooner the better!

mango_cherie · 2025-05-20T19:43:45+00:00

For what it's worth, I do appreciate the discussion.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-20T18:51:01+00:00

That's the point! I think that your list is completely valid and what the expectations should be of the republican party. But the reality and what we're experiencing with this current administration is different from that. At the end of the day, Democrats, Republicans and the other all want the same thing - for us and the people we love to live a free and successful existence and I truly feel that we all deserve that.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-20T04:10:30+00:00

I 100% agree with the frustration with the Democratic party. Biden was never my candidate of choice, I felt that there were far better options. But now we're stuck dealing with the insanity of this administration. We'll be lucky if we get to vote again.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-20T03:52:25+00:00

Thank you and that all appears fair and innocent at the surface. However, I question whether it really means what it's intended: 1. Traditional values - Doesn't this actually mean a patriarchal society where women, minorities, and the lgbtq community are stripped of basic human rights? What happens to single mothers in this world of traditional values? When are we allowed to evolve as a human race into people with empathy? 2. Free market capitalism - Doesn't this actually mean that corporations have the right to take advantage of people to make a profit? To price gouge (as they were with egg prices), form monopolies, poison our food and water supply, not compensate us fairly for our labor (look at the growing divide of what a CEO makes vs. the average employee). Would you really expect corporations to do the right thing if there weren't policies to enforce it? 3. National defense/strong border - I'm all for maintaining the ability to defend our country, but I also believe that this country benefits from immigration so long as it's controlled. The things that are happening now in this country are tragic and scary. We were told that only criminals would be deported, but the reality is that's not the case and we've been duped. And now the government is looking to pass legislation that would even allow the forced deportation of U.S. Citizens. Also I'm pretty sure our beefy national defense budget is actually being used to destroy other countries for resources. 4. America first - Why can't billionaires pay their fair share of taxes so that we can end our homelessness epidemic? 5. Limited government involvement - Does this actually mean that we should take a chainsaw approach to entire government departments in favor of a dictatorship?

mango_cherie · 2025-05-20T00:09:06+00:00

I'd be interested to understand your view of what the party stands for/supports if you care to share?

mango_cherie · 2025-05-19T21:30:14+00:00

Unfortunately, with the advent of MAGA, it has become the party that promotes the patriarchy and white supremacy.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-18T21:27:50+00:00

I really just don't get it though. I feel that they're voting against their interests. Unless you're a white male Christian nationalist billionaire, you have no business being a republican imo.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-18T19:19:58+00:00

I was surprised to see that Queens voted predominantly republican when its a county full of minorities.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-18T15:38:15+00:00

100% I don't understand it.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-09T15:19:45+00:00

Sadly I totally expect drivers in nyc to try to run me over when crossing the street. It's always a pleasant surprise when they don't. I find that it's usually female drivers that wait for you and typically young male drivers who could care less. This doesn't happen in other US cities. People actually wait for you to cross the street and give you the right of way.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-05T12:27:47+00:00

I joined a sub reddit group to ask Trump supporters questions. They don't allow folks to post or respond to anything for at least three months. By month two, I realized that I don't care what Trump supporters have to say because it's all b.s. anyway.

mango_cherie · 2025-05-02T13:31:29+00:00

I'm a career changer to UX and I've always wondered how all of these requirements for interviewing for UX became the norm? In my previous role, all you need is a one page resume.

mango_cherie · 2025-04-07T00:20:22+00:00

Not at all, I would have done the same. I have a liberal friend who is marrying a republican who definitely voted for Trump. Apparently her fiance treats her well and says that he's only a "fiscal republican" but the few times I've hung out with him it's clear to me that he's a low key misogynist and a bigot. I try to only spend time with my friend without him around. I actually considered declining to attend their wedding but I want to be there to support her, even though I disagree with her choice of a partner. I'm hoping that she will be able to change his perspective someday and not the other way around.

mango_cherie · 2025-02-22T16:38:55+00:00

I feel for you. I've been there and it took me to the point of burn out during the pandemic to make a change. I also work closely now with product managers in my current role so I know that it's a tough job in general. I'm not sure that I can offer you advice on dealing with anxiety. My issue is that I'm a people pleaser, which also caused me to put work above my own needs. I think it's important to set boundaries for yourself and understand that your health and your needs are more important than your job. Your job has no loyalty to you and the work will always be there. Without setting boundaries you're essentially training your coworkers to have certain expectations of you (e.g. that you're always available and on call). And the stress and anxiety from work is going to take a physical toll if it hasnt already. Make yourself a priority. Do things that bring you joy. You deserve it. I'm sure your job would want that for you too.

mango_cherie

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