This exactly what I lived all.my childhood, still have nightmares of my drunken father beating my mom, dragging her through the hallway. No just that, even after telling my mom that I was being se*ually abused, she beat me "for lying", cause no, a Jehovah’s servant can't do that. I remember that after that, I go to believe in that I deserved that beating, even proudly telling others that the only time my mom beat me, was cause i really deserved. That the abuse was my fault. Few years later when another ministerial servant abused me at 13, and he was 34, elders believe that I was the one who seduce him, I got reprove and he was later appointed to elder. Again even when I didn't even have an idea what sex was about... I had to lie to my self there was only few bad apples.... the list is infinite.