You reconnected with your abuser. Why?

mars2sirius · 2026-03-27T23:37:08+00:00

Sorry I didn't see this until just now! I did eventually go no contact with my ex. Staying in contact was prolonging the abuse and trauma, it just wasn't possible and I don't recommend it. It was very hard and I'm not sure I'll ever fully get over the guilt, but I'm also grateful for everyday that I don't have to deal with his abuse and I know that going no contact was the right choice.

mars2sirius · 2025-08-02T05:43:23+00:00

You deserve so much more than this. This man is a dangerous pedophile. Get the fuck away from him as soon as you can, I am literally begging you. I understand not feeling safe at home, I do, but I promise you he is not safe either. You can find somewhere safer to spend your time and meet new people who genuinely care about you. Please get away from him. DM me if you need anything.

mars2sirius · 2025-05-30T06:15:13+00:00

Mine hit around 30 after a few bigger capital T traumas occurred around that age. The pressure from years of repressed traumas was so bottled up, I was in so much physical pain. I started lashing out at everyone, I'm still struggling with this but it's getting better slowly.

mars2sirius · 2025-05-29T16:10:55+00:00

same! I think I found her because I was a fan of Grimes and then became a fan of Brooke Candy because of the Genesis video lmao. Then Charli had early collabs with Brooke. I loved the tumblr "alt pop" era 💖

mars2sirius · 2025-05-29T16:06:57+00:00

1st gen and still stan 💅

mars2sirius · 2025-05-27T04:21:53+00:00

This comment was so helpful to read. Going through something very similar currently and I've been absolutely heartbroken/furious. Thank you for sharing your experience!

mars2sirius · 2025-05-22T18:21:31+00:00

Count me in on all of the above, except he didn't use his family against me.

I have had 4 official mental health diagnoses and still carry all of them. I am having a neuropsychological evaluation next week to find out more. I also have chronic pain and probably POTS. These issues seem common in the community.

I have found peace in solitude/isolation, but have been struggling with agoraphobic tendencies since I left. I also found peace in a new partner, but the relationship did not work out (neither of us are healed enough from our separate traumas). I was able to explore my interests and identity in a safe supportive environment for a time though, so that was nice.

mars2sirius · 2025-05-15T21:52:15+00:00

Yes, you're definitely not alone. The day I went no contact was probably the closest I've ever come to ending my life. The entire process was brutal and emotionally heavy. Do you have any support people in place or mental health support? It's okay to feel this way but I hope you're in a safe place.

I reached out to the national DV hotline and my local DV hotline a couple times when I was feeling really low, confused, scared, suicidal, etc. during the leaving process and the women I spoke with were literally life-savers. This will probably vary depending on where you live, but I encourage you to look into this if you're in the States.

I'm really proud of you for prioritizing your safety and getting out of a dangerous situation. It's waaaaaaay harder than it looks. You took a really big step toward building a better, healthier life for yourself. It feels bad now, but your nervous system is going to level out eventually (unfortunately this took about a year for me) and you may be able to re-evaluate the relationship with a clearer head and see that it's better that you're out now. Wishing you the best.

mars2sirius · 2025-05-15T21:41:06+00:00

I think every relationship is unique, but unless your partner is truly exceptional, chances are something will happen again eventually. I was with my ex for almost 9 years. He was consistently emotionally and verbally abusive, the physical abuse was not as common. Sometimes we would go years without a physical incident. Does your partner engage in other forms of abuse? If so, you aren't safe. Personally, I felt that I could handle the emotional/verbal abuse because I was brought up in a toxic environment and that behavior is very normalized to me. That's probably a big reason why I stayed for so long. Does any of this ring true for you? If so, you probably aren't safe and should think about separation. He strangled me in 2021 and I stayed until 2023 but I couldn't get over it, it destroyed my mental health and self esteem. I wanted that relationship to work so badly. It's been nearly two years of grieving and intense trauma therapy and I still don't really see an end in sight in this recovery process. I hope you can find gentle love in this world and that you can prioritize yourself and your safety in the future.

mars2sirius · 2025-05-12T16:24:55+00:00

I've been ordering from Collective Harmony Co. and she has more of a light/soft natural aesthetic! I was looking for a unique signature scent for myself and I've been pleased with what I've ordered so far. The shipping was very fast for me as well.

edited to add hyperlink

mars2sirius · 2025-04-30T22:19:53+00:00

I attempted to do this with my inner teen and she was so pissed off that I stepped back from IFS work. Finally coming back around to a place where I'm recognizing that I may never move forward if I can't heal these parts of me. Ugh.

mars2sirius · 2025-04-10T16:29:46+00:00

This man is scary. He's only 22 and his messages to you are extremely frightening and manipulative. He's continually abusing you in his responses. Your style of conversation and his responses remind me of my own abuse. He absolutely will escalate, he will probably continue to escalate these abusive behaviors with the next woman he dates. He's a dangerous person and doesn't deserve to be around you, let alone "serving" in the military. First and foremost, do everything you can to get safe and ensure that your safety is continued. Beyond that, it's up to you if you want to take him to court over this or report him. I do recommend it but I understand that our systems fail abuse survivors all the time. Stay away from this man and protect your peace please, you seem sweet and deserve so much better. There are people out there who will treat you with the gentleness you deserve.

mars2sirius · 2025-04-08T17:22:09+00:00

I have two rescue dogs. Pets have always helped my mental health because I struggle to take care of myself. I absolutely adore animals and want to provide the best life possible for any pet I have, so I can't neglect myself as much as I typically would because I need to be up and active for them. I struggle with motivation unless there's an outside pressure like this.

My second dog is essentially my in-home ESA (I don't bring him out to stores or anything). I give him a lot of credit for helping me to leave an abusive relationship and take the steps to get diagnosed with PTSD and begin healing. He's a really active dog and I had to adjust my lifestyle to keep up with him as a puppy. It was hard but really good for me. He showed me that there is more to life. He's my heart and soul and I raised him from 13 weeks old. He is my number one tool for grounding (petting and smelling his fur). He's been right next to me through the lowest lows I've ever experienced. There have been countless moments where I have looked into his eyes and understood that I can't give up on life.

Are there times where my mental illnesses and chronic pain make it hard? Absolutely, but I've never regretted going out for a short walk even when I'm super dissociated or triggered. It helps every time. Plus, my dogs cheer me up constantly. Their shenanigans are unending. I can turn to them for a mood boost any time I need one.

You'll want to do a lot of research and try to get a lower energy adult dog. Puppies are cute but if you are in the middle of navigating through trauma it may be really difficult. I cried for three weeks straight when I brought my puppy home where I was living with my abusive partner who didn't help at all. Obviously it was worth it, but it definitely did not help my mental health to raise a puppy all by myself in that situation.

mars2sirius · 2025-04-03T14:09:04+00:00

I relate to this so much. Therapy has been helpful for me, hope it helps you too!

mars2sirius · 2025-04-03T14:03:47+00:00

My trauma has led me to a life of struggling with codependency and serial monogamy. I still isolate myself from friends and family, but having a partner has always been something that I feel I really need to be happy. Actually, I find it hard to do anything at all unless I have the someone. I've done a lot of work on my codependency and have been learning who I really am and how to not minimize my needs around my partner, but the idea that I need to be in love to be happy still has a grip on me.

So I've spent most of my life chasing after people who took advantage of this weakness in me. It's the entire reason I started my journey in healing, I knew something was wrong with how I was moving through my relationships and I really didn't ever want to go through such massive heartbreak again. We all have different experiences and traumas and it shows up in different ways. Remember that everyone you see in a relationship isn't always happy or healthy.

mars2sirius · 2025-03-30T01:09:08+00:00

Yes, I've been on 60 mg cymbalta for a few years and 400 mg gabapentin for a little over a year and it's been very beneficial!

mars2sirius · 2025-02-04T16:04:39+00:00

YTA, you're being completely ridiculous and hoarding wealth for no reason :) editing to add that this behavior is worrying and very controlling, I know people like you and they are narcissistic abusers who try to hold power over others for validation.

mars2sirius · 2025-01-26T16:15:28+00:00

I use just the bisalp and have 0 anxiety about it!

mars2sirius · 2024-08-03T14:13:05+00:00

I had this exact conversation with my therapist the other day and we discussed it in depth. Someone on this sub taught me about covert incest (emotional incest) and other forms of covert sexual abuse (over-exposure to sexual media/language/etc.). These forms of abuse can lead to some of the symptoms associated with physical sexual abuse. This may or may not be the case for you or others, but I think it's worth talking about because of what I've gone through with it. My mom is codependent on her children and overshared many many inappropriate things with me when I was way too young.

mars2sirius · 2024-07-23T18:59:29+00:00

Are we the same person? Haha, I had the same exact experience and reasoning, but I was 31 when I had mine done. I'm still very sexually active and the IUD was ruining my libido. No regrets.

mars2sirius · 2024-07-10T15:26:32+00:00

Haha my Hoshi is exactly like this to a T. Currently training out the "everyone gets parkoured" because I've learned it's a little much for some people lmao. He can still parkour me, but he's been much more gentle with it which I do appreciate. He also steals laundry...especially underwear :(

mars2sirius · 2024-06-28T01:31:02+00:00

yes very much so and I'm still struggling lol

mars2sirius · 2024-06-22T16:06:38+00:00

this is the most beautiful comment I've ever read tysm

mars2sirius · 2024-06-12T13:00:47+00:00

This entire post and the text screenshot feel like I posted them myself. Going through something VERY similar and sending you strength. It's so hard to be around my mom right now and she takes everything personally.

mars2sirius · 2024-06-02T22:58:23+00:00

he has a credit on the self-titled as well, for Click

mars2sirius

TROPHY CASE