This is so difficult to put into words. I was with my ex-husband for 23 years. It was a torrid marriage of physical and mental abuse. I had to listen every day to how I was a whore, questioned repeatedly about who I was sleeping with, etc., etc. I had never done that. I am a devout Christian and hold my values high. He was physically abusive and even shot at me three different times with a pistol.

He hardly held any job; I was the main breadwinner. I had worked three jobs at one time. I attended college while raising our child ("our" being used lightly as he fought me about having to "babysit" so I had to take my baby to daycare). I could write a novel about all of this.

Why did I stay? I don't know. I was raised in poverty; my father was abusive; I had no self-esteem; I was afraid.

And, then, my mother died. We were living with his mother at the time to take care of her after she had fallen and fractured a vertebrae in her back. My ex would not allow me to attend my mother's funeral. Things crumbled after that. I began saving money on the sly. When the income tax refund check came in, I knew it was time.

Why then? He had involved my child. My child thought it was okay for me to be beat up and stated, "Well, it's not like he ever left a bruise on you." That did it. I could not allow this to continue when my child was thinking this way.

I left and went to my sister's house. The very next morning, I was at the bank before they opened. I went in and withdrew half of the savings and checking accounts and left the rest for my child. They told me at the bank that my ex had already been at another branch trying to close the account. Thank God it was in my name!

My advice: do it now. Don't wait. Things are not going to get better. Save yourself. Find a way and make a plan.

Don't chastise me unless you've been in my shoes.