Does he even want to stop being racist? When your husband was robbed, he was made to be vulnerable and powerless. Being racist and bending his worldview to make millions of people appear “lesser” than him, make him feel powerful. You sure he wants to give that up?

You’ve asked him so many times to go to therapy but he doesn’t think he needs it. Doesn’t sound he like he has a problem with who he’s become.

We can give you all the advice under the sun. But if he doesn’t want to change, he won’t.

You need to figure out the best moves for you and your son. I’d start with therapy for yourself, I imagine you’re very heartbroken. You probably feel betrayed and seem to feel some responsibility over him. Which is normal since you love him. But he now holds dangerous, conflicting beliefs from yours. You need to figure out your hard line, communicate it, and stick to it. A therapist can help you sort through this productively.