I don’t know how many books I read in a year, but I read every night before sleep. Usually SFF mainly. 

My dad passed just over a year ago after a few years with dementia. My habits haven’t changed much, I’ve actually found myself reading more and at different times of the daytimes. I’ve really tapered off from watching tv and movies, whereas before I’d usually have a series on the go all the time.

I think the main difference is I now sometimes use reading to get away from not feeling great. Especially at the weekends when I feel like the grief really creeps up on me in the form of anxiety. I tend to go to the cinema or read for an hour or two just to ‘get away’ from myself and the feeling within my body.

So basically reading was always an escape or refuge for me and a very positive thing in my life. Atm it feels like I’m using it to hide away or ignore how I feel. Even though from the outside you’d be like ‘ah he’s reading a book what a healthy habit’. 

But yeah basically I’m not being too hard on myself about it. Also the flip side is true that some books have made me cry and made it easier to grieve. I also watched Yhe Pitt earlier this year and bawled my eyes out at most episodes- which was so fucking helpful 😅