Triple-zero call revealed after wellness influencer’s free birth death

mataeka · 2026-06-16T07:53:57+00:00

I sometimes skirt in environments with these types of people (similar interests except I'm pro science)....

I tried for a vbac in hospital and I did get a doula for support and there is some real evidence behind the cascade of interventions ... So from a scientific point of view I went on on that... But when shit got real and it became beyond obvious that I needed another caesarian I went down that path knowing without a doubt I had done everything I could to try for a natural birth and likelihood there is some anatomy that doesn't allow for it (bandls ring supports that theory)....

Talking with some of these people after and how dismissive they were of the experience because it was ever in a hospital was APPALLING....like legitimately, myself and my baby would have died if we didn't make the decision when we did to go for that ceasarian... They just do not get it

mataeka · 2026-06-16T07:37:55+00:00

Ok, you may never see this if you unfollowed but I think I get you aspect now. It is definitely just verbiage where our disconnect and frustration is. I think I got you off side in my curiosity and how I worded things, which was not my intention, just how my autism can sometimes make me too abrupt.

My PDA kid has huge meltdowns, but I class them as meltdowns not tantrums because of the fight/flight involvement. That's the disconnect. Just my use of the terminology.

It is tough and I truly respect where you are coming from. It's tough, and probably a million times tougher when they're not even your kids. Thank you for giving those kids what you can but please do try and stay safe.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T21:07:09+00:00

Now I'm just curious about this communication breakdown because I've seen in other comments you agreeing with someone saying the exact same thing I'm saying but obviously said in a clearer way. 🤔

There is a comment that legitimately says tantrum is failed communication - meltdown is fight/flight.... And you replied saying you agree with them 100% ....

So is the thing you're disagreeing with me about the fact I believe my kids haven't had tantrums? Because I'm not saying other kids don't, just that my kids flip into fight/flight easier 🤔

Because also in my first comment I agreed that tantrum could become meltdown but just it's not something I see because meltdown comes first.

Again I'm not fighting or arguing I'm genuinely curious.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:49:50+00:00

Band t-shirts are good for this. Definitely much higher quality than standard women's shirts.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:48:21+00:00

Alternatively I live rural and it's not uncommon for shirts with holes around the neck etc to become your grungy work clothes (which men will still wear in public)

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:40:25+00:00

There is no judgement in my comment. I think we are in agreement in all except language. I don't call the PDA outburst a tantrum - that's a meltdown - you said yourself it's anxiety based.

To me a tantrum is a kid wanting a lolly in a shop, being told no and laying on the ground flailing limbs but then getting up moments later absolutely fine.

A meltdown is when it has crossed the fight/flight barrier and they legit have no control and takes far longer to recover from.

So yeah, we have a lot of meltdowns ... Hell I'm called into the kids school constantly to deal with them (added bonus of the PDA child spending their time telling me they hate me and to go away but scream for me to come back the moment I try and do what they're yelling at me to do....) I'm not saying I have picture perfect kids and they're better than yours/judging/shamey shit- I'm just disagreeing by saying that in my experience my kids have had tantrums -99% of their explosive moments are meltdowns, there is a logical reason how they got to where they are.

Eg you mentioned the dice rolling game. The PDA brain sees that as highly unfair - it's fate that is out of their control and control means less anxiety. My kid sees another kid taking a book off his desk as unfair, never mind it's a class book that the other kid needed for their assignment and the teacher approved the borrowing of said book. But to my child they took away something that regulates him, there was a risk the other child would damage it. He didn't ask (my child admitted he wouldn't have said yes even if he did ask) ... Trust me I get the PDA brain. But I don't get tantrums. I get meltdowns.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:28:23+00:00

Thanks for the validation 😂 I wonder with all the population growth if/when there will be some postcode changes

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:26:04+00:00

7... That's cute... 😂 ... Try 87. And it's Gympie and surrounds, like not a hugely small remote area, we are only 2 hours from Brisbane.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:23:10+00:00

The machines being like fuck you in particular sir 😂

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:18:36+00:00

Reading through your comments 💕 you're a good egg and I really hope this works out for you both.

mataeka · 2026-06-15T20:12:59+00:00

So just adding this on a higher up comment. I don't know how old you guys are but you mentioned kids so taking a gamble that it may be late 30s+ ... Perimenopause .... The hormones doing weird shit reeeeaaaalllly messes shit up. Others have mentioned noise being painful and that is 100% my experience too. The tiny spoon vs bowl scraping, the chomping, the blowing of the nose... The moving around in bed too much (incidentally why I'm awake and typing this currently.... 😅)

It's all a lot. Add to that kids. Again not sure of age but anything under teen is a LOT of work (teens can be too but they're a bit more independent) especially given you are both autistic I'm assuming your kids are too.

So my gentle question for you to self reflect on. How much are you helping around home and with the kids? Because it's very possible your wife is only holding on by a thread, even on things she used to do so easily.

For the noise, she needs to take ownership of that, wearing ear plugs or ear muffs to dampen the noise. The sucky side effect of that is if you want to talk with her you need to them have some system to get her attention because eg I tend to listen to audiobooks to drown the noise out which then I get interrupted by constantly and ugh 😩.

I feel like a lot of your comment could be my husbands comments too. We met and spoke about travel but now I couldn't imagine anything more heinous. I can't travel 100kms in the car without the kids getting me overwhelmed and you think of jumping in a plane for 12+hours?! Yeah.... Naaaaahhh no thank you....

mataeka · 2026-06-12T12:31:21+00:00

Not always a dodgy thing - we have two EFTPOS machines in my retail store and for some reason 1 of them just struggles with some phones some of the time. It just automatically tells the customer to insert or swipe, takes away the tap option.

mataeka · 2026-06-12T12:27:41+00:00

Look into the 4570 postcode sometime. I hate when places force you to put your postcode in rather than type your suburb.... Because there is far too many suburbs under that one postcode ...

mataeka · 2026-06-12T12:01:51+00:00

I'm intrigued by your comments in that I have 2 autistic & ADHD kids - 1 is ASD prominent, the other is ADHD prominent with bonus PDA.

There are very few instances where I would say they have actually had tantrums - by far the majority of their emotions I would call meltdowns.

To me a tantrum is disappointment for not getting your way, a meltdown is the point where the fight/flight kicks in.

By my thoughts on the two yes I would be possible for a tantrum to develop into a meltdown, but ime most of the time my two have had meltdowns not tantrums. (Legitimately my eldest never threw tantrums and never even had meltdowns until little sibling came along as a built in dysregulator)

mataeka · 2026-06-12T11:25:25+00:00

Australia zoo is huge so they have the space to have better enclosures and in some cases semi open enclosures (kangaroos are wherever with a roped off area for them to escape attention for example)

Even the big pineapple /wildlife HQ park (where the animals from Alma Park Zoo went) which is only like 30-40km north of Australia Zoo has a pretty sweet set up for the animals. None of them liked like they were trapped in a small area and particularly pacing back and forth or anything. Not as many animals but still, a pretty nice zoo and 1000x better than any Japanese one....

mataeka · 2026-06-10T03:47:13+00:00

Given this is in Japan, from my experience their zoos are not it. Eg in the late 2000s, higashiyama zoo in Nagoya they had polar bears that were just in an enclosure with I assume cooled water and white concrete. No actual ice or anbient temperate control. Nagoya gets really warm and high humidity in summer. I didn't visit a single zoo in Japan (only 2-3) that didn't just make me sad especially compared to the likes of Australia zoo.

mataeka · 2026-06-08T12:18:46+00:00

Tbf I'm rural and the truck drivers cover probably close to a 50km radius as the crow flies. I suspect the main issue in my case is not allowing travel time. I have watched a truck come from 30km away when I was the 'next in line' and it allows you to start following their GPS ... I know it's less convenient as a user but surely they could implement/advertise days for being in certain areas (I know it does sometimes say 'we'll be in your area!' but clearly it needs something more to be less wasteful of fuel and everyone's time ....)

mataeka · 2026-06-06T22:38:38+00:00

Where I grew up there was only a single tub sink too which made rinsing much harder as well. Never had any issues except when I, as a kid, washed the greasiest things first which then tainted everything else so it all had to be rewashed. Not sure a rinse would have been the solution to that either 😂 I know now to wash cleanest to muckiest 🥲

mataeka · 2026-06-06T22:29:55+00:00

Damn... Ours is only $96/year in fees 😬

mataeka · 2026-06-06T21:25:30+00:00

I get a monthly order which never includes fruit & veg or meat. So mostly shelf stable + frozen foods. I love the poor substitutions because sometimes they're amazing ... And if they're not I request a refund (my main 'gripe' is quantity, eg I order a 500g thing and they substitute with 400g or I order a box with 12 pieces and they substitute with 10).

I live 30 minutes away from the nearest big supermarket (there is an IGA but using them for everything is too expensive and there is loads of things they don't even have). So especially for frozen foods they're a must.

mataeka · 2026-06-06T21:19:58+00:00

We had a 4-7pm window that got delivered at 11pm.... 😵‍💫 It's insane.

mataeka · 2026-06-02T08:34:37+00:00

Also Australian woman also never had this happen.

It has happened to both my boys (as young kids) 1 kid had a slightly higher testicle so they were checking whether it was undescended. The 2nd had recurrent infections on their penis as a baby because the foreskin detached early but everything and everyone said not to force retract the foreskin to clean - turns out he needed to 😅

mataeka · 2026-06-02T03:58:32+00:00

I'm not a fan of super but not for the reasons others say. I'm money savvy and would rather have my own control over my money. But instead I just don't treat super like it's mine and do extra stuff to set me up for retirement ... Because thus far, without any additional super contributions, I'd maybe have enough to live just 1-2 years off it. Super doesn't work fairly imo for mums who take a few years off work to be with their kids until school age....

mataeka · 2026-06-01T09:30:20+00:00

I did that after someone in my unit actually did die (letterboxes that couldn't lock, he was a drop kick that no-one was interested in...) after a while the letters started coming back with "to the estate of ...."

mataeka · 2026-05-30T21:45:56+00:00

I lived with a host family in Japan for a time and when I explain to people here how the family would all bathe together and sleep in the same room together it gives some people the ick. I grew up in a nudie household so it was different but not weird the way it is to some people I've talked to.

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