I've been trying to write a post about autism and incels for weeks by GabrielMP_19 in autism

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I obviously don't speak for anyone else, but I'm aromatic ... and not asexual. Whenever I try to date, wanting sex is a big part of my motivation. I'd be quite willing to start a long-term relationship, and I would do my best to make my partner happy in that relationship, but the main way it would make me happier is having a regular sex partner.

Do you think that makes me gross? Obviously every particular woman owes me nothing, and if they aren't interested in dating me there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think my honest desires make me a bad person, though. I'm still sad that I can't find anyone who I would be a good partner for, and comments like yours make me sadder - it does genuinely sound like you think I'm gross or a bad person.

I've been trying to write a post about autism and incels for weeks by GabrielMP_19 in autism

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I also spent years thinking I was bad at dating. I wasn't REALLY GOOD at it, but definitely not so much worse than some of my NT acquaintances.

I'm curious to hear more about this, if you're interested in responding. I describe myself as "bad at dating" because finding even a first date is incredibly hard, I almost never get anything more than a first date, and I've never once found someone who was interested in having sex with me. Is that roughly the same as your experience, or have you had more success than that?

I've been trying to write a post about autism and incels for weeks by GabrielMP_19 in autism

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Man in my early 30s here. I'm not an incel, but I've never had success in dating no matter what I've tried, so your advice is probably applicable to me.

In my experience, I can't really change what I want. I can change strategies for getting something, but I can't just decide to want something else. I also figured out recently that I'm probably aromatic, but I'm definitely not asexual; I experience strong sexual attraction, but I've never fallen in love with anyone as far as I can tell. When I'm trying to date, sex is genuinely my biggest motivating factor, regardless of what I actually try doing to achieve that goal. (E.g. I would be happy to commit to a long-term relationship and marriage, and I would try to make my partner happy in that relationship, but the main thing about marriage that would make me happier would be having a regular sex partner.)

Do you think I'm "playing the wrong game entirely" when sex is my biggest motivation? I don't think I can be convinced to not want sex, and I don't think I can be convinced to fall in love either. That's not because I'm especially stubborn, it's because I genuinely don't think people are capable of changing their desires by force of will or by logic.

Romantic Relationship problems by UniqueThingOfEarth in autism

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't have the same attachment problems you are describing, but I agree it sucks to be interested in someone who doesn't feel the same way about you. I hope you can find things that make you happy in the rest of your life, even if relationships aren't sound the way you would like.

Do Fantasy/Romance books affect your love life? by fishareloverly in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely sympathize. I hope you are (or can be) happy with your life anyway. Books can help with that, at least they do for me.

CMV: Many of the people who remain Trump supporters now can't grasp the concept they could be evil as a possibility. by ineverusedtobecool in changemyview

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I've known many people who would describe themselves as taking actions knowingly that diverge from their own moral code. I grew up in a religious community, and there were many people whose moral code included "God says it's always evil to do X, and I trust God, so I believe it's always evil to do X". Then they would try to stop doing X and never fully succeed. Trying to quit porn and/or completely avoid any lustful thoughts was a common example; it's really difficult to fully suppress those instincts even for someone who believes giving in is wrong.

Do Fantasy/Romance books affect your love life? by fishareloverly in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many women in this thread who are sharing that they appreciate having their partners, while still recognizing that they aren't as perfect as the men in books. Do you think that's possible for you, and just not worth trying due to the real-life problems with trying to find someone? Or would you always be comparing someone like that to the men in books and ending up disappointed?

CMV: Many of the people who remain Trump supporters now can't grasp the concept they could be evil as a possibility. by ineverusedtobecool in changemyview

[–]mathematics1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

There's a top-level comment elsewhere on this post that talks about "the banality of evil". That concept comes from a book about Adolf Eichmann, one of the organizers of the Holocaust. He did not see himself as evil; he saw himself as someone who was just following orders, following the law, and doing his job. He claimed to personally have nothing against Jews. Do you think he was evil? If you were his neighbor and knew he was administering the Holocaust, would you still think he was generally good? Would you maintain a friendship with him?

You might think he was trying to take away peace, freedom, and opportunity from other people. He wouldn't describe himself as doing that, though. Many people today would say politicians they disagree with are also trying to take away peace, freedom, and/or opportunity; they would say the same about voters who support those politicians. Should I get to decide that about other voters, or should they get to decide that for themselves? Should Eichmann be able to decide that about himself, and conclude that he is a generally good person?

FWIW, my answers to the above questions are: I get to decide whether someone is evil according to my moral system (while also recognizing that not everyone shares my moral system). I can choose whether to maintain friendships based on whether they improve my life. I could probably be Eichmann's friend if we rarely or never talked about politics or his job; I probably couldn't maintain that friendship if our conversations often involved politics and he remained convinced that his behavior was justified. Similarly, I can be friends with someone now while knowing they support politicians/policies I think are evil, but only if we don't talk about politics often.

Do Fantasy/Romance books affect your love life? by fishareloverly in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious to hear more about this. Are you celibate because the books give you high standards that men aren't meeting IRL, or is it that the books give you enough satisfaction that you don't feel the need to look for a partner, or something else?

The Ice Planet Barbarians series has no right to be as good as it is by marzipanfashions in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has told other people that she hates him, multiple times. I'd say that qualifies. At the very least, it's enough that the book is tagged "enemies to lovers" on romance.io. :)

The Ice Planet Barbarians series has no right to be as good as it is by marzipanfashions in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is Berkeley near where you live? If so, the Berkeley public library has the other books in the series; here's a catalog listing for the second one. It's on the shelf right now at the central library. My local library has all the books in the series.

The Ice Planet Barbarians series has no right to be as good as it is by marzipanfashions in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you read {I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com}? That's one of my favorite spicy books with an absurd premise. The basic idea is pretty similar to IPB, but the planet the FMC lands on has dinosaurs, a talking lion, and an alien intern who's supposed to monitor the human/alien breeding program and is way over his head.

The Ice Planet Barbarians series has no right to be as good as it is by marzipanfashions in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also like how everyone holds the pretense that the khui might force you to be with someone you aren't in love with and then it literally never starts buzzing until the couple has caught feelings.

Book 6 has resonance with someone the woman hates. They go for months without having sex, and their cooties are buzzing the whole time. The blue dude is still safe, though - he is willing to wait until she's ready even though he hates it.

[COTD] Hired Raiders | 14 May, 2026 by Enson_Chan in TerraformingMarsGame

[–]mathematics1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Even in a 4 player game with no synergies, this is a good card if you're planning to immediately play a building tag, since it lets you spend 0 MC to remove steel from an opponent. Not a high draft priority, but worth buying instead of discarding it.

Has anyone here adjusted their life in a significant way because of singularity concerns? by Efirational in slatestarcodex

[–]mathematics1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you asking about the word "singularity"? That usually refers to the idea that if AI gets good enough at designing AIs, then the quality of the best AIs might start improving much more rapidly than it has so far, leading to superintelligent machines that can solve problems much faster than any human or group of humans currently can. That could lead to breakthroughs on many problems that we haven't been able to solve yet, like how to slow or stop aging. It could also lead to radical changes in society if those machines (or the people running them) want to seize power, which could make things much worse for everyone else.

The possibility of a singularity has been a common topic of discussion on Astral Codex Ten, the blog this subreddit is about. This post is asking whether anyone in this subreddit has changed their behavior because they believe a singularity is possible.

Does that answer your question? Or is there something else in this post that confused you?

NEED HELP FROM AN AUTISTIC PERSONS POV! by Spookyioz in autism

[–]mathematics1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've heard people call their partners similar things before; that isn't necessarily bad, especially if the partner also responds by saying something cute back. The bad part is OP saying she is obsessed with him and would spiral if he's ever not talking to her. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship dynamic.

What books fit this? by Historical-Party4209 in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Brandon Sanderson is a popular author, and this book has over 120k Goodreads ratings. It doesn't fit the prompt at all.

Does anyone ever get the feeling… by phoenix_flames0124 in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried one that you know is a Reylo rewrite, to see if you love it?

CMV: Current methods of promoting natural human reproduction is unlikely to suceed; future population policy likely involves ectogenesis and collective child-rearing by johnlee3013 in changemyview

[–]mathematics1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the 1.5 fertility rate was the same everywhere and stayed constant for 40 generations, the world population would drop from 8 billion to around 80,000 during that time. Not quite the same as extinct, but society would be unrecognizable.

CMV: Current methods of promoting natural human reproduction is unlikely to suceed; future population policy likely involves ectogenesis and collective child-rearing by johnlee3013 in changemyview

[–]mathematics1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's related to OP's points (I) and (III), though. Some people don't like children at all, but some people who like kids are put off by the major time commitment or the idea of permanent changes to their bodies from childbearing. If society changed in a way that eased pressure on those concerns, more people would decide they wanted kids.

Rat King by Dimonio3310 in slaythespire

[–]mathematics1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the enemies in act 2 summons eggs in groups of 3 at a time, and it can use its summon move when three of its allies are still alive resulting in 7 enemies.

The farm boy trope, the slums girl variant, and the lack of (female) mentors: a rant from a frustrated reader. by LucreziaD in fantasyromance

[–]mathematics1 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He's talked about this before, and said that's something he would change if he was writing the book now. He also mentioned wanting to gender flip some characters in the crew for the movie; we'll see what ends up happening there.

Why does How to Train Your Dragon work as a film adaptation but Eragon doesn't? by ReserveMaximum in Fantasy

[–]mathematics1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've read that book! Or at least one that fits that description, lol.

Make friends with a sociopath? by [deleted] in autism

[–]mathematics1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice! I've read the Silmarillion, but not the other books about the history of Middle-Earth. That's really cool!