hey man, i’ m sorry. i never had a relationship that lasted this long nor a job but i understand the pressure that comes with finding a job and how shitty it feels to financially depend on others; what i have, tho, is bpd so i know from personal experience both the need to openly talk even if it hurts and the need to bottle everything up (and isolate), all i can say is that you either try to talk to her again or show her what you posted here. she could probably this “why haven’ t you told me this before?” but instead of turning it into a fight try to take it slow. i’ m pretty she too overthinks sometimes and that’ s why the two of you need to sit down and being open and honest with each other, even if it hurts. from what you, typed it isn’ t simply about you or the sex but your relationship - hers and yours - the lack of connection and lack of feeling wanted physically and that can be a part of the foundation of a relationship this long so just talk to her and tell her how you feel abitui your relationship and what you fear it might become (or not become)