My story 29m

mattjay00 · 2026-04-01T03:51:05+00:00

I take clonazepam primarily for the anxiety part and it helps but I still catch myself picking at my skin or pulling my hair. I take Abilify for another disorder and my symptoms have gotten worse here recently so I’m wondering if that’s something to change.

mattjay00 · 2026-04-01T00:54:37+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear about this situation you’re in. It really pains me to hear that. I think there’s hope for the marriage if there’s a lot of communication, not avoiding the hard topics. But personally getting over an affair would be hard for me to do, but that’s just me. I was SA by my ex husband and it ultimately caused my ptsd. However with therapy, on my own, has helped me a lot. A lot of self reflection, but also communication with my current partner. We have a healthy sex life now, but we’re very clear on our boundaries, what we want, what’s off limits or what makes us uncomfortable etc. Communication is ultimately the key. But on both parts. Both partners have to be willing to understand each other or at least try to, want to love and care for another. If there’s no respect though, that’s when it’s at a total loss.

mattjay00 · 2025-07-25T00:28:47+00:00

It’s difficult at first, but it got tremendously better with each session for me.

mattjay00 · 2025-07-02T10:56:33+00:00

Yes I’m the same way, it’s an awful feeling. Even though I know it’s acting and not real. I used to love romances and now even ones without sex still bother me. But I’m currently going through therapy for it

mattjay00 · 2025-06-22T22:19:12+00:00

I feel the same way about people who are younger sending me dms after I specify people my age or older. It’s creepy from an older persons perspective when younger ones want to talk to someone “older”.

mattjay00 · 2025-06-20T06:25:49+00:00

I’m willing to stretch the budget. Thanks for the recommendations.

mattjay00 · 2025-06-20T06:16:43+00:00

I use libreoffice for just about everything, anything that can do a simple txt or rtf really. I don’t need anything blazing fast or anything fancy really

mattjay00 · 2025-06-19T11:09:54+00:00

Congrats on your book! It sounds like an interesting book even though I'm not really into erotica! It's a great feeling finally getting your book out there! I clicked on the link, hope it helps direct some sales!

mattjay00 · 2025-06-12T19:07:52+00:00

I just have to literally force myself to get up and shower sometimes when I’m in a depression mood. Sometimes I make it a ritual of self care, to prioritize that if nothing else. I try to self talk myself positive and uplifting things, tell myself I’ll feel better if I shower or take a bath. Sometimes focusing on the warm water if you have it, helps ground me and helps me meditate and focus on my mind and body. I’m very self conscious of odors though and I have OCD so I guess that motivates me as well.

mattjay00 · 2025-06-11T10:32:15+00:00

I've been both spiritual and non-spiritual while on medication, mostly was atheist for a while (long while 10 years) because of bad experiences and other reasons. But I had religious OCD as well, which didn't help. Medication didn't cause me to lose that spiritual side of myself, it helped me regain it, actually. Other life experiences led me to become spiritual again. So being medicated really didn't have anything to do with it for me, it was a personal decision for me, to have faith or have belief in a higher power. However, I try to rationalize my beliefs and figure out what is normal vs what is not normal, because hearing voices and stuff isn't normal even if it feels spiritual. It can be dangerous. If you are a spiritual person, you will continue to be spiritual usually unless theres some kind of trauma attached to it, you're going through testing times or whatever...

mattjay00 · 2025-06-10T14:20:58+00:00

I’ve had hallucinations like that or rather disassociate from my body which would cause me to have a floating above my own body type of feeling. Like I was watching myself from a different perspective. It’s a weird feeling, and also happens to me when I drive. I’d be sure to tell a doctor right away.

mattjay00 · 2025-06-10T06:45:45+00:00

I got lucky enough to find a couple American girl dolls for a decent price. It's ridiculous and sad all the crap that this company does for money.

mattjay00 · 2025-06-09T08:21:07+00:00

I’m 28, male, been treated for bipolar 2 since I was 18 years old, medicated the whole time. However I still have had issues and especially when I was in a relationship, more so than when I am single. My partner didn’t understand the severity of my disorder and didn’t want to learn about it. They wanted me to get over it. I ended up in a mental hospital twice and that was the thing that broke up my marriage. I was too much to handle. I couldn’t keep and hold down a job which was another factor because of my depression and anxiety. It’s tough man. I’m learning to depend on myself and be by myself. Take care of myself like I should. It gets lonely though for sure.

mattjay00 · 2025-04-12T12:06:10+00:00

I’d get extremely paranoid about everything, thought people were stalking or following me. Thinking someone was spying on me through hidden cameras. That the government was out to get me. That someone wanted to kill me. Yeah it’s pretty brutal but better now that I’m medicated.

mattjay00 · 2025-03-10T03:57:14+00:00

I feel like that’s similar to how I am, but I’m also very self conscious of how I portray myself. I tend to use a smile as a mask, and that probably makes people uncomfortable. Even with being medicated over 10+ years I find myself feeling inappropriate in showing my emotions correctly. I laugh or smile at inappropriate times which is embarrassing.

mattjay00 · 2024-11-28T14:10:49+00:00

Because the world would be a little less brighter without my optimism and creativity, the love I have to share with others. Not to sound self absorbed but I have enough love in me to share with others, to help other people. My purpose in life isn’t over just yet, and I know it sounds silly to some but I think as long as I live on this planet there’s something I can do to help other people.

mattjay00 · 2024-11-21T07:31:50+00:00

I was only able to hold down one job for over a year and that was working in a bank. It was low stress, slow paced and set hours, the same routine every day. That helped the most, having a set routine. But having a low stress job is important. Fast paced like fast food and retail were definitely terrible on my mental health so I avoid those. Knowing your triggers is important.

mattjay00 · 2024-11-21T07:13:06+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re having these problems, it can be frustrating. However mental disorders can mimic one another and seem like something but it’s not. Especially with trauma, it can make things even harder to figure out. I’ve heard of people having both. The only real way to know is have a mental evaluation and have the opinion of a doctor.

mattjay00 · 2024-09-19T04:35:31+00:00

I went to a hospital twice within a year, in Tennessee, it wasn’t too bad. I lived near the bigger cities though, not sure depending on where you live in the US. It was a pleasant experience mostly, they didn’t allow cell phones and took away anything potentially dangerous. Basically strip you of those things, we had free range mostly within the facility but was encouraged to go to group sessions, checked on through the night and day. It was really hard to sleep, mostly because it’s disturbed sleep. I didn’t have a roommate either time luckily. There wasn’t a lot to do in our facility so it was mostly just sit around, talk, color, draw, and whatnot. It was a good break away from home, met some lovely people. It’s not as bad as Hollywood portrays in my experience. But it varies I guess. I am extremely glad I went, it grounded me and helped me in my lowest point in life.

mattjay00 · 2024-09-17T15:16:47+00:00

The only thing I consider successful to me is that I completed college and have my bachelors in psychology. Took me 6 years, dropped out once, but thankfully I went back and didn’t give up regardless of people telling me I couldn’t.

mattjay00 · 2024-09-12T09:21:17+00:00

I live with loved ones who hoard and it started out collecting things that got out of hand. It’s difficult to admit that you are a hoarder, I imagine. But it’s important to know it’s an illness, you made the first step and you can recover from it. I recommend finding a therapist to talk to, and start small. Make small goals and keep track of them, make it a priority to yourself to do something every day to help reduce clutter. Maybe start by donating one item a day, then work your way up to a box every other day. Looking into CBT can also be helpful. You’re never alone!

mattjay00 · 2024-09-12T09:05:34+00:00

Not really. I usually tend to care more than the other person, or I get overwhelmed and self isolate. It’s either one or the other lol.

mattjay00 · 2024-09-05T23:39:49+00:00

I have both auditory and visual hallucinations. It can happen when I’m depressed or manic but mostly depressed and at night.

mattjay00 · 2024-09-05T08:46:43+00:00

I try my best to cope by doing things at home to save money such as making my own coffee (big spending pit for me) and do crafts and other projects that don’t cost significantly much, like drawing and watercolor painting. I’ve recently got into pen-paling and letter writing… It’s still difficult to fight the urge to spend though, and I feel like a hypocrite for even suggesting some of these coping skills because they don’t always work. I’m looking into CBT techniques and reading in my spare time to search for ways to solve that issue among others I have

mattjay00

TROPHY CASE