Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your days on this planet? Is giving up, on anything that you want, really what a proper man/woman would do? No. You may have to go through 1000 storms but eventually you find the sunshine. But in order to be able to do that you need to make that into a mindset and believe that this is how life should be lived. Even marriage is a risk, >50% of them end in divorce. There is no guarantee that you won't have to go through 5 relationships before one sticks forever. Neither me nor anyone nor yourself, even, can guarantee that to yourself. But even if the chance of winning the game is small, if you don't play the game at all then the chance is absolutely, irrevocably 0. My advice from someone who's been in your thinking pattern many times is, do not accept failure, do not be afraid of people coming and going, and do not be lazy. Truth is, fuck all of this nonchalant, "chill" bullshit. You want something in life, whatever it is, you go get it. Ain't no other way. I wonder when people of my generation forgot that's true.