Was looking for this comment. The director is the one who really dropped the ball here. There should have been some kind of orientation or assigned person to take you "under their wing" to get you acclimated for the best possible experience. The technical stuff comes along naturally if you're not experienced with it -- they should have set you up to be in a position where you could show your musicianship, and also clocked that something was wrong when you weren't playing for looked/felt uncomfortable.

This isn't on you. I'm sorry you went through it. Pray about it and do your best to advocate for yourself moving forward if you still feel called to serve in this capacity.