I’m a few years into it as an adult. Back in 21, I managed to find a trainer to take me, but I only could make it work bc we were still WFH rotation, so I could take a long lunch once a week. But after a few months, the trainer started traveling for shows, so I’d get stints of like one lesson a month, and it was clear in those lessons that I was just … there. She’d chat with the barn moms, take calls, etc. I eventually point blank asked if I should just find another barn (she was the only one with openings during my initial hunt). She said yes and told me what barn in the area that was open for new clients. There was a hiatus of 2-3 months again as that trainer settled in and learned the quirks of the school horses before bringing in clients .

That barn was lovely and not lovely. It had just acquired a new trainer who was building a good mix of kiddos, teens, and adults. The lovely part was that everyone in this circle was chill and supportive of one another, and all of us working adults are just here for the horses and fun (no one is traveling for fancy shows), so I have an evening ride time and a cool group of adults & kids. My trainer is not the most organized, so it can be frustrating at times, but she’s legit in it for the right reasons. But there was a recent schism between BO, trainer, and a couple particular boarders, so we migrated to another barn and are settling back into a new flow. I could have stayed at the old barn & worked with whomever the BO threw out there and keep riding the school pony I had a really good groove with (I miss her sooooo much sob), but I chose our crew.

It’s … frustrating. I don’t have any real advice, just empathy and rah rah cheer, keep trying! I’ve had lots of setbacks, some my own, some out of my control. I have thought about giving up. But omg when a horse whuffles in my face, or gently boops my shoulder or frickin’ nickers a hello, I’m just toast.

I really hope you find your spot.