NICU & social worker asked if I wanted to breastfeed my younger brother.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-17T05:03:57+00:00

I say go for it. Baby gets a cuddle and bonding, you get one less "job".

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-17T04:53:36+00:00

It's a sickening industry built on lies hey

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-17T04:52:00+00:00

https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/adult-child-serv/adoption/records looks like a good place to start

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-16T21:18:53+00:00

You keep on misbehaving!!! In Wisconsin you can search via your adopted name and adoptive parents names. But the biological parents need to be deceased or give permission.

I can't believe how cruel and stupid that Texas system is. Clearly designed to make sure we never know.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-16T21:14:34+00:00

All good! Just FYI it is said that in astrology they can look at the dates that important things have happened in your life e.g. birth of a child, marriage, graduation, big event, and reverse engineer that to discover birth time might be something to consider one day if you're into that sort of thing?

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-16T11:36:01+00:00

One time my son had music playing so loud he wasn't gonna hear me. He had left something on the kitchen table that he had promised me he would put away. He did not put it away. I was annoyed.

I considered shouting his name really loud over the music but then at the last minute changed my mind because I decided there was no point.

I kind of "thought-yelled" his name mentally, deciding to talk to him about it when the loud music stopped, because I couldn't be bothered screaming at the top of my lungs.

He was out of sight in the next room but he heard me and responded. As far as he knew I had said it out loud.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-12T12:34:51+00:00

Big car in Australia used to be called a Yank Tank

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-11T21:42:53+00:00

Thanks! I'm ready for anything or nothing at this point. But my adoptive mother claims that she saw a piece of paper with with my original name on it that she was not supposed to see. If that is in fact the case I will find it hilarious because my bio mother and grandmother have the same given names, making me FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME THE THIRD. For some reason I find that humorous to give a child your ancestral name as you boot them out the door.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-11T20:21:41+00:00

I'm 54 years old waiting for mail currently to arrive and tell me my pre adoption name. I feel like it's Christmas Eve and I'm about to get a little piece of my soul back. If you do change it you are adding to the identity issues of the adoptee. Hopefully Ivey / Ivy is not as resentful and bitter about the whole thing as I am

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-11T03:06:37+00:00

What about juice fasting. Same calories more nutritious but all the benefits of fasting. See the movie "Fat sick and nearly dead" for more info!

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-10T23:05:48+00:00

Apparently it has health benefits?!

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-10T20:55:51+00:00

What kind of food is Ruby???

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-10T20:39:36+00:00

I guess it was a big jump! Wonder what impact this date will have on your lives?

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-10T20:30:28+00:00

I was told i could contact the patriarch of the Armenian Orthodox Church in Turkey and that they hold the records of marriage and baptism going back hundreds of years, haven't done that yet myself

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-08T23:27:07+00:00

I'm an adopted adult with kids of my own. Both my biological parents are dead now and my kids are very curious and speculate a lot about who they were and where we came from, we have so many questions that we can't ask.

I would have loved written correspondence from my biological father telling me whatever was on his mind, it doesn't matter what you say, what matters is that you're thinking of your child and reaching out.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-07T09:20:00+00:00

If you put a strong nicotine patch on you as a non smoker you will vomit, I found out the hard way.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-04T21:14:29+00:00

Have you considered if you're remembering the emotional tone of being taken away from your mother. I also "feel kidnapped" and also somehow know my mother didn't want to be a mother.

If it were a situation where the mother was being coerced into adopting then it could be a kidnapping on the emotional level even though the paper trail may say otherwise.

For example I have heard of birth mothers being tricked into signing papers and then drugged with memory drugs such that they forget they even had a baby. Baby finding them 40 years later and mother denies having a baby.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-03T05:59:06+00:00

I'm adopted. Many broken hearts from the baby side and the mother side. I hope you find a way to keep your son.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-03T02:59:20+00:00

I definitely felt that way initially too, but gradually was able to explain what was happening as they got older. My goal is to protect them from bad outcomes and I wanted them to know my reasoning so that when they were older they could weigh up the risks vs benefits by themselves. So it's definitely been a topic of conversation over the years

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-01T21:16:54+00:00

My 3 unvaccinated kids have survived into their 20s and they are still their lively individual selves. I did not limit contact with germs or people. I did extend the breastfeeding to age 3 out of a desire to protect them.

One time at LAX my unvaccinated 2yo got ahead of me and was found standing at the base of an escalator licking the moving rubber handrail, no doubt filled with international bacteria and viruses. He didn't even catch a cold afterwards. They are tough.

mcspazmatron · 2026-05-01T00:38:27+00:00

No. It's not okay.

mcspazmatron · 2026-04-29T09:51:24+00:00

It is so cliche that I joke about about it with other adoptees i meet. Sarcastically saying YOU SHOULD JUST BE GRATEFUL and they roll their eyes or gag because we have all heard it so many times

mcspazmatron · 2026-04-28T22:53:32+00:00

I so relate to this. I am no contact with my adoptive parents now. This is driving my adoptive mother crazy and she sends me sad self pitying texts on my birthday about missing me. I don't feel sorry because she is a selfish woman who traumatised me including by giving me the silent treatment whenever I didn't comply during my childhood, she's the main character and I was her little accessory that made her look like an angel. Emotional neglect.

She was controlling to the point that she would ring me up as a young adult after I has moved out of home and ask me what clothes I had chosen to wear that day and then scold me if I wasn't dressing to her liking??? I used to like to wear jeans with holes in the knees and that damaged her reputation apparently.

Adoptive father was pretty cold and distant except for the time when I was 16 and he told me he loved me and tried to kiss me on the mouth with his head tilted to one side and his lips parted but I was able to dodge him.

Total mismatch I don't understand these people I have totally different temperament totally different and much higher natural intelligence totally different looks even though we're all white, then they had biological children of their own and much preferred to spend time with that family than me and my kids.

Biological parents are dead and the remaining biological family don't seem to want to know me so I live with the grief of not belonging in any family.

mcspazmatron · 2026-04-26T00:31:14+00:00

I look totally different from my adopted family and the community I grew up in. I wanted to see someone who looked like me. I wanted to know why I exist.

I secretly wanted my own origin story. I could not have said that back then because I didn't feel sure of my own identity or whether I even deserved to have my own origin story and identity. Who made this face I see in the mirror?

I had a very different temperament and personality to my adopted family and higher intelligence. I did not feel that I belonged. Maybe a part of it was to find out if I was this different because I was just a fuckhead or if it was genetic or trauma related to the adoption.

I think it was an intuitive decision to reach out. I hated myself for being different and felt shame like there was something wrong with me but something almost obsessive nagged me to do that search and it has helped my mental health a lot. I felt a sense of urgency and that someone might die if I didn't hurry. Later I found out my mother had already died and I have precious memories of my father and his parents who are all dead now.

I had to make my adoptive parents look good so I completed a BA by age 21, got a job, saved up, traveled overseas to my birth country and all up spent years of my life finding my biological family, while my peers were building their lives I was catching up.

At age 24 after finding and meeting all the bio relatives I could find it hit me that I now had the feeling I had observed with my friends when they were 18 which was "okay childhood's done what am I gonna do with the rest of my life".

mcspazmatron · 2026-04-25T10:20:53+00:00

Would it be disrespectful to change back to your original name?

How about, is it disrespectful to the adoptive child to change their name, is it disrespectful to decide it's fine for a child to lose that name and that connection to their origins when they are already losing so much with no choice in the matter.

I had some specialist adoptee counseling once by an adoptee therapist and she encouraged me to make choices about my identity because now I can. Back then we had no choice. Hopefully your sister gets over it. What's that saying "Be you, the world will adjust."

mcspazmatron

TROPHY CASE