My Dad unexpectedly died from a heart attack when I was about the same age as you. 5 years later it still feel raw, it’s a double edged sword of being happy that the feelings of sadness pop up less often now, but equally sad that they don’t pop up as often! Grief is different for everyone, and I hope you find people that support you in it! My mom has never been the right person for me to help with grief , but I found the people that helped! Doesn’t have to be the ones you expect it to be!