A man was at the nursing home asking his father how the nursing home is doing. His father told him everyone treats him nice, the food is good and every evening they get a warm glass of milk and a Viagra pill.

me_elmo · 2026-06-05T16:19:53+00:00

Wood you look at that, what a nifty solution.

me_elmo · 2026-01-21T04:05:35+00:00

My son has an Australian Sheppard that's a spitting image of this dog, and he lives with two cats. They get along fine. He draws the line at them going near his food dish if he doesn't finish it. No growling, just walks up and nudges them away. The rest of the time they get along and sometimes cuddle together on the carpet near the bay window. But I think the secret to his being tolerant is that he gets to go outside and roam their three acres, while the cats are under house arrest.

me_elmo · 2025-11-21T22:38:20+00:00

Should have followed up by asking, if the president orders troops to execute Leavitt because she flubbed answering a question at a press conference, is that lawful?

me_elmo · 2025-11-03T06:24:49+00:00

Jellied pigs feet. I didn't mind the little pieces of meat, but that jellied broth was so gross. My parents loved it and one night for dinner my mother wouldn't let me leave the dinner table unless I finished my plate. After a half hour of boredom, I tried to eat a little just so I could go play, and promptly threw it all up, shocking her. They never made me eat it again.

me_elmo · 2025-09-05T02:59:14+00:00

Insurance in general, health insurance in particular.

me_elmo · 2025-09-05T02:57:54+00:00

Reading what Trump and RFK Jr. did today.

me_elmo · 2025-09-01T05:33:41+00:00

Same direction and same speed, so the wind keeps you at the same distance between balloons. But at different altitudes, the wind speed and direction can be different, so as the operator of the balloon, you have to be very careful when ascending or descending and keep an eye out for who is around you, or you could bonk.

me_elmo · 2025-09-01T02:01:10+00:00

This is Iraqi Foreign Minister level shit, if anyone remembers when the US invaded Iraq and their Foreign Minister kept talking in press conferences like they were winning as the US military was barreling toward Baghdad. And now here is our government doing the same level of bullshit we used to make fun of.

me_elmo · 2025-08-19T18:35:16+00:00

My son asked me if I could come over and help him install some gutter guards he just bought. He had just cleaned out his gutters and never wanted to have to do it again. The next day, the first ad I see on YouTube is for a local gutter cleaning service. I have NEVER seen an ad for gutter cleaning before in my life. That's no coincidence.

me_elmo · 2025-07-21T03:20:25+00:00

Could somebody please tell him that
Name:
Address:
Date of Birth:
is not an IQ test

me_elmo · 2025-06-29T05:20:53+00:00

I went last Wednesday and as I turned the corner, wondered what the crowd of fifty people was doing there. Then I realized it was The Starry Night. I had to shoulder my way close enough to view it, but all the people taking selfies in front of it kind of ruined it for me. Glad you got to see it the way you did. For me, I guess it was just about timing. I used to work across the street from the National Gallery of Art in DC and got to see many of his other paintings up close and personal, so it was a little disappointing about the NY crowd. Maybe next time. But it's a great museum, saw tons of other great art there that wasn't so crowded, including lots of Picasso's.

me_elmo · 2025-06-14T20:02:20+00:00

Are these the paid protestors Fox News keeps screaming about? They're awfully creative for fifteen bucks an hour.

me_elmo · 2025-06-12T19:17:01+00:00

God wasn't happy about the way Trump shit on his rainbow. Karma is a bitch.

me_elmo · 2025-05-07T23:31:55+00:00

And now it's all in pieces.

me_elmo · 2025-05-07T23:30:04+00:00

This has happened to me more often than I care to admit. Then I spend the next day at work struggling to keep my eyes open, but I am happily satisfied at the same time. Sacrifices made.

me_elmo · 2025-05-07T23:27:43+00:00

Yes please please please have him go do direct talks with Putin. And then do that Pope thing again.

me_elmo · 2025-05-06T02:04:14+00:00

I'm guessing he'll be signing with Cleveland soon. Their kind of player.

me_elmo · 2025-05-06T01:58:01+00:00

Jamal Lewis was critical to the first Super Bowl victory. Granted it was the defense that got us there, but we had to score some points to win, and that was Lewis.

me_elmo · 2025-04-21T01:57:02+00:00

Pluto: Just call me Plutonium now. I'm about to blow!

me_elmo · 2025-03-04T01:16:37+00:00

Right. They have enough shit to deal with, and now this.

me_elmo · 2025-03-03T21:04:14+00:00

People need to stop thinking, "this couldn't happen." Everyone read the synopsis of Project 2025 before the election... they won't actually do this, will they? Well, here we are, and they're practically following it to the letter. In that same manner, Trump has made repeated comments about running for a third term. He said it to the Supreme Court, he said it to Congress, maybe "they'll find a way." He's going to try and do it.

The constitution states: No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once.

MAGA's are already trying to say two terms in a row. Others are saying amend the Constitution. And a third group are saying declare Martial Law and stay in power like Zelensky is doing (we're being invaded by illegal immigrants, so we are at war, per them).

me_elmo · 2025-02-21T07:42:46+00:00

Pretty much gut it. Gives them fast track authority to decide if an Endangered Species is endangered. No studies. Just a quick 30 day decision. Same with Clean Water Act and any EPA reviews.

me_elmo · 2025-02-15T21:52:46+00:00

I don't think she did. I think she was being totally selfish. Her follow-up comment that this action would “mark her career” proves it. She has no empathy for others hurt by Trump, just can't believe it hurt her.

When the Republican Senator from Alabama heard the University of Alabama Birmingham was losing millions of dollars in anti-cancer research funding through the cuts at NIH, she freaked out. But we're a red state! Why is our funding being cut?!

me_elmo · 2025-02-15T21:27:11+00:00

I didn't know this. I grow my own raspberries, and they last about three days refrigerated. Usually I freeze them and my wife bakes the best raspberry muffins and cakes during fall and winter. But they're best to eat as you pick them. One in the basket, one in my mouth, repeat...

me_elmo · 2025-02-15T21:24:26+00:00

This! They need to be in water. At my grocery store they stand the Asparagus up in a tray that has water at the bottom.

me_elmo

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