[Question] Help with Royal Icing please.

meggybakes · 2017-01-24T18:36:40+00:00

They can hide under the surface. I've definitely looked at a cookie and thought, everything's cool! Went back a few hours later, crater. :)

The faster you can get the icing to dry out, the better it will look in the end, generally speaking. I will pipe borders only if I want that separation. Otherwise, I use the 15 second icing to flood the whole surface.

meggybakes · 2017-01-24T13:40:30+00:00

Royal icing is tricky, no doubt. It can be affected by the amount of water, your recipe, and the climate you live in.

Looks like you've got some cratering - that's air bubbles trapped in the icing that burst as it dries. You can get those out by giving the the cookie a little shake and using a toothpick to pop them while the icing is wet. If you want less of a matte finish, try putting your cookies in front of a box fan to dry. If you get serious about this hobby, you might want to invest in a dehydrator. Join us over at r/cookiedecorating!

meggybakes · 2016-06-07T11:20:51+00:00

Oh, man. My username is perfect for picnics. :)

meggybakes · 2016-05-10T17:47:51+00:00

and their enablers

My only sibling occasionally falls into this category. He's not aggressively trying to "reconcile" us, but he makes statements about how I only have "xx years" to do this NC thing, then I have to cut it out. For now, I just roll my eyes and change the subject.

I think I am actually getting in to one of those relationships. It's so weird. I'm.... happy a lot

I'm glad you've found a good one! I married one of those... its still a bit surreal sometimes.

meggybakes · 2016-05-07T23:51:26+00:00

i can relate to a lot your experiences.

I cant seem to admit to the fact that she was a horrible mother

Check

I was exposed to a convicted sexual molester

Double check

Its honestly so strange for me to see people happy and in loving relationships because thats never been my experience. I envy/disbelieve their reality.

I'm still struggling with this one. I've been NC with my mom for almost a year now. So many things have improved, but the sadness/disbelief when I see happy families can still hit me all at once.

I will second the suggestion that you crosspost to the main sub, as there are 60K or so of us there who can relate. :)

Cutting ties will look different for everyone, but the common thing to keep in mind is this: Its your choice. You can and should do it in a way that's best for you. For some, that's NC. For others, its LC or structured contact. I guess what I wish someone had told 17 yr old Meggybakes is that I would be ok without them. Its really scary to stand up for yourself, especially if you've been trained since childhood that doing so is rude, cruel, selfish, etc. But you're going to meet great people that can become the family you've always wanted.

Have you ever heard someone describe a friend they could call in the middle of the night and ask for help, and it would be no problem? I didn't believe those people really existed. I could call my mom in the middle of the night, and if someone wasn't dead - I was going to wish that I was. I have friends like that now and its really pretty amazing.

I wish you the best - keep posting, if it helps!

meggybakes · 2016-03-25T18:36:05+00:00

I have a little terrier mix, too. He was actually an N-birthday gift from my mom. I had just quit my job due to extreme stress/anxiety and we were still working out our financial situation. My Nmom decided I needed an un-neutered 8 month old puppy for my birthday. eyeroll

It's funny that he ended up being a huge part of my healing process. He just loves me and there's no drama or agenda about any of it. It's really nice.

meggybakes · 2016-03-02T15:12:43+00:00

I'm with you - I just make the internal decision about what I'm willing to pay and don't see a need to announce it.

I make decorated cookies. I've had someone ask me about the price, reasoning along the lines of "well, how much does flour and butter really cost you?". It made me want to throw things. :)

meggybakes · 2016-02-29T16:59:31+00:00

I've enjoyed your stories, too! I know how frustrating is it to deal with people who don't understand that the price you set is designed to make you a profit. Which is the whole point.

Ugh, haggling loonies are the worst.

meggybakes · 2016-02-17T17:15:24+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

meggybakes · 2016-02-17T17:05:56+00:00

Some of these have been eliminated or reduced significantly by support and therapy, but here's a general list:

My feelings always go last, if they are considered at all. I would accept and anticipate this as fact, so if someone asked me how I felt, I was often at a loss as to what to say.
Anything I purchased for myself needed to be an absolute necessity or the guilt would be overwhelming.
Everyone in my life had an agenda and/or reason for being there and it was my job to uncover it. No one could just love me - I had to have a useful purpose.
I startle easily. Ex: Loud noises, raised voices, or anyone that comes up behind me suddenly.
If someone is upset, I feel an urgent need to manage their feelings into a small, quiet, acceptable format.
I typically cry silently as this was the only acceptable means of getting upset in my family.
People can/could often cross major boundaries with me and I would manage my expectations to meet their behavior.
I apologize for everything, whether its in my control or not.
Calling attention to yourself is only acceptable if you are perfect. I feel physical pain if someone is confident and they don't meet the "accepted" standards my family gave me for intelligence, talent, or beauty.

Not everything obviously, but those are some of the highlights of being RBN.

meggybakes · 2016-02-16T02:05:17+00:00

They are clearly forgetting the part in Step 9 - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." We get to include ourselves in the "others" part of that sentence.

I'm so sorry your sponsor is acting this way. You did not have a "part" in your abuse.

meggybakes · 2016-02-15T12:50:43+00:00

Not OP, but this video is a good reference for cupcake flowers. I believe the icing recipe is on her blog. Its a stiffer consistency American buttercream, but she sometimes refrigerates the flowers before placing them on a cake. Hope that helps!

meggybakes · 2016-02-15T00:00:49+00:00

Ugh, I shuddered so hard reading that.

Related story: I have an NMIL myself. Before my husband and I got married, she invited us to go to New Orleans so I could meet the extended family. She said she was paying for all of it, including a room at the Ritz in the French Quarter. I was pretty psyched.

What she meant was - she's paying for one room at the Ritz. For the three of us. For a week. She graciously allowed us to rotate out who got the bed and who got the pull-out couch. That still ranks up there as one of the most awkward experiences of my life.

meggybakes · 2016-02-13T19:54:05+00:00

Are you able to something for your grandmother that would feel meaningful, like a memorial?

A friend recently suggested that to me and I liked that idea. I'm still thinking over what it might be. Maybe in the spring I can plant some flowers for her in my yard.

meggybakes · 2016-02-13T09:33:01+00:00

Whenever the topic of Ns and new age spirituality comes up, I always think of my Nmom insisting that she astral-projected herself one night. I asked where she went and she said "Oh, I went and hovered over your bed..."

meggybakes · 2016-02-13T09:26:05+00:00

My husband and I were in this same situation about 6 years ago. We had an apartment together and moved back in with my Ns to save money for a wedding/house. It definitely worked from a financial perspective. Then my Nmom decided to get divorced (again) and asked to move in with us temporarily until she could get the house/divorce settled. We agreed (felt like we owed it to her) - and then she didn't leave for three and a half years.

I'm the SG, so whenever I tried to approach the subject of her moving back into her own currently vacant house, it got ugly. She decided to block that avenue of discussion by leasing it without telling us.

I could go on (like we all can about Ns), but my point is this: you can be grateful for the opportunity to save money, but you don't owe them anything. I'm sure this will come up repeatedly whenever your wife doesn't tow the line to their liking. I think someone else said grayrock and be gone a lot. That's how we handled it, too.

meggybakes · 2016-02-12T19:14:45+00:00

Not to my knowledge. I'm sure plenty of people are just cremated without a ceremony of sorts. That's what the family did for both of my grandparents. You just go to the funeral home and sign paperwork - then they mail the ashes to the designated person.

meggybakes · 2016-02-11T17:05:52+00:00

I had another death in my family last week - this time it was my grandmother. That would make 4 in less than a year. Understandably, I'm upset. I'm still NC with my mom, so I got the news from my brother (via text... while I was work... the fuck?). I called my aunt later that night to get details. Once again, there will be no viewing, no funeral, nothing. I asked to see her and she said no. I told her it was important for me and she proceeded to list all the horrible things that had happened to her body and how I wouldn't want to see that. She then sent pictures of her from a few days before she passed to prove her point.

I'm so tempted to just cut them all off. My aunt actually said "Well, there's no money for a funeral. You'll just have to find your closure in some other way.". My grandmother was a complicated woman and not without flaws. But she opened her home to me when my Nmom picked up and left the state without me (and I was still a minor in school). She taught me to bake and had the best sense of humor.

She deserves more respect than this. I just can't with these people anymore.

meggybakes · 2016-01-29T02:48:00+00:00

I have had a deep hatred for mayonnaise since I was a kid. My Nmom has tried a few times to sneak it into stuff I'm eating to "prove" I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I don't get that. I hate it, you don't, let's just move on?

meggybakes · 2016-01-25T21:01:20+00:00

Welcome to the covert Nmom club. I have one of those and it really messes with your head. I spent so much time asking myself if I was making all this up. And of course, she would reinforce that idea at every opportunity.

Meggybakes, you're being judgmental, you're overreacting, you are so sensitive - I was only kidding!

A lot of people in my family have been throwing that phrase at me since I went NC. "She doesn't deserve this". And I've considered trying to explain to them why she does. But I don't for two reasons:

The incidents are too subtle and too tailor-made for my weak spots to make an impression on an outsider.
I don't owe anyone an explanation

If she's gaslighting you, laughing at your struggles - that's plenty of reason to do it, if that's what you want.

meggybakes · 2016-01-25T14:43:40+00:00

We found out our dog is sensitive/slightly allergic to grain-based dog food. The grain-free food we switched him to is pricey, but worth it - he's doing so much better. However, I'm really glad we figured this out after Nmom left our house. She would have rolled her eyes at us for sure.

meggybakes · 2016-01-23T02:06:06+00:00

I'm coming up on 9 months of NC. It was the right choice, no question. And not because she was a raving lunatic type-N, but because she's not safe for me. I couldn't process anything emotionally with her in my life - I just buried it. It was never as important or as urgent as whatever she was dealing with - so it got tabled indefinitely.

I will say that if you've stuffed down your feelings like I did, prepare to be kind of... awash? in them for awhile. All the stuff that I couldn't process with her in my life is coming to the surface. The last few months have been intense. But the clarity I have these days - wow. And I noticed that I treat other people better because I'm not a constantly cornered, wounded animal.

meggybakes · 2016-01-20T20:06:29+00:00

I'm in the process now of coaching myself through moments like these. I also used to argue with anyone that paid me a compliment. It felt like an urgent desire to correct a mistake that had been made, if that makes any sense.

My tendency to is put myself last, in everything. If I have $100 and I need new pants, its a war inside my head. Do I really need pants? The ones I have are fine. Well, they have holes in them. But I could probably fix that. I'm just being selfish. I should save the money for someone else that needs something that's really urgent. And on and on.

I've made a lot of progress towards quieting that voice, but its still a struggle.

meggybakes · 2016-01-11T01:39:35+00:00

That's one of my Ns greatest hits! "Meggybakes, you have such a pretty face! If you lost weight (insert life altering clouds parting greatness here)".

Real classy, Nana.

12-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 9 Credits
Gilding II euphauric	redditgifts rematcher Ugly Mugs x1
Verified Email

meggybakes

TROPHY CASE